Subs/Sams

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Dnomyar -> Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 9:45:16 AM)
I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them.

Frank01 -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 9:50:05 AM)
By leaving them by themselves.

agirl -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 9:56:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. If they're not into floggings or spankings then they could be just the trick. I'm disciplined in ways that really aren't something you'd like to repeat too often. Needles through my nipples is a difficult one for me. Or being caned. It really depends on the situation. Recently I wasted 40 mins at college and didn't do the piece of work asked for.....I didn't take it too seriously but he did, and after listening quietly to me telling him about it, he gave me 40 mins to complete the work and send it to him.....one cane stroke for each minute that I was late sending it. I was quite horrified and shocked as it was so unexpected. agirl

OhReallyNow -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 10:31:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. *this slave is not 'into' floggings, spankings, canings, etc. She detests pain of any kind . However, just because this slave dislikes pain, does not make her a SAM [:)]* Master has never had to use pain to DISCIPLINE his property; there are other methods that are quite as effective, if not more so, then delivering a flogging or caning ( this slave is not a child who needs to be spanked when she has done wrong ). *Of course, this is just this slave's opinion, and this is just the way that the relationship is developed between Master and his property.*

DomKen -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 11:00:13 AM)
I've never had trouble disciplining a woman whose hard limits are pain. IME submissives crave closeness to their Dom and denying them that when they could be getting it gets the message across quite nicely. Of course a wide variety of other options are available to a Dom as well. A sub with shaved genitals can be required not to shave for a number of days. A sub who is proud of the way she looks can be required to dress in shapeless or unfashionable clothes or not permitted makeup. A sub who is easily embarrassed can be required to dress in more revealing clothes than she prefers. Things like extended denial of orgasm also work quite well with the right sub. As a matter of fact I've found that with some masochistic subs painful punishment is pointless as they quickly become aroused by the pain and drift into subspace and therefore the punishment really is little more than a session which is entirely not the point. So I almost never inflict pain on a submissive as punishment. First if I'm truly angry I don't lay my hands on a sub so as to maintain a sharp break between what I do and abuse. Second I don't want the line between a sub getting what she wants, a nice intense session, and punishment to be blurred.

BitaTruble -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 11:17:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. Choose correctly for yourself, train them right and you won't have to discipline them. Celeste

CreativeDominant -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 12:13:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. Let the punishment fit the crime. Personally, while I indeed want a submissive who knows who and what she is and who is not a doormat for abuse, that doesn't mean I want a SAM. Provocation for punishment doesn't work for me. Rather than exciting me and getting me into a "let's have fun" mood, it irritates me when done constantly. Besides, I came to the opinion...MY OWN, NOT NECESSARILY ANYONE ELSE'S...that punishing an admitted physical masochist physically is counterproductive. Just as punishing an emotional masochist emotionally is. I am also one of those dominants who is very careful not to vent my anger on my submissive. Choosing to physically punish a physical masochist or emotionally punish an emotional masochist could become abusive and not where I want to go.

maudite -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 12:46:11 PM)
If a sub isn't into pain, the best discipline is whatever makes her (or him) feel the most submissive and/or deprived. There's always humiliation... and there are many levels of that, enough that there's something that will work for almost anyone. Teasing and denying orgasm are always good. Make them beg, and don't come through. Restrain them and make them watch you pleasure yourself. Off the top of my head, one scenario that would work for me would be if I were stripped naked, gagged, and placed in fist mitts but otherwise unrestrained -- and then ignored for some period of time while my dom did something else: played computer games, talked on the phone, or whatever. I'd be bored and frustrated, and unable to do anything about it. (For me, boredom is the worst punishment there is!)

raiken -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 12:59:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. Let the punishment fit the crime. Good answer. For example, if the mouth offends, then discipline the mouth, with whatever the sub/slave finds most unpleasant. The key is to know and learn of your subs likes and dislikes, but approach with caution to avoid that which may become abusive. If the sub is one who wishes (and is able) to learn, desires to obey and become better at controlling the offensive behavior, an effective punishment, in general, will only have to be done once to correct that behavior.

TheShadows -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 2:18:20 PM)
As others have already said, if they're a SAM, Smart Assed Masochist, they would PROBABLY be into floggings or spankings, so a physically painful punishment would be counterproductive. I've found the best punishment for masochists is writing sentences while restricting the offending body part. Make the sentence fit the crime, as it were. Example: The sub has spoken out of turn or said something terribly rude. They would write...."I will not be rude while speaking to 'whoever'." whilst wearing a gag or something that prevents talking, until the desired number of sentences has been written. It's been a great punishment tool, in my experience using it. As always, YMMV... MrsShadows

SirLordTrainer -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 3:13:10 PM)
I dont know who 'they' are but they certainly are in the minority if theyre not into being flogged or spanked, Sounds like your dealing with inexperience. Further, if they are SAM's your better off not wasting your time. Although those two acts wouldnt be My first choices for punishment. Just have them write out their infraction a number of times, standing them nose to the wall for 20 minutes or so.. take away activities you know they truly enjoy.

maudite -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 3:56:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer I dont know who 'they' are but they certainly are in the minority if theyre not into being flogged or spanked, Sounds like your dealing with inexperience. ...or maybe he's dealing with a sub who's experienced enough to know that she doesn't like pain? Just a thought.

juliaoceania -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 5:03:12 PM)
Im a fiesty handful, for other people besides Daddy...smiles

shadevarr -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 5:18:42 PM)
Never had a sub who wasn't into pain in some form or fashion so I really can't throw out anything tried and tested but in theory I do have to agree with solitude being one of the most efficient means.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 5:19:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: raiken quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them. Let the punishment fit the crime. Good answer. For example, if the mouth offends, then discipline the mouth, with whatever the sub/slave finds most unpleasant. The key is to know and learn of your subs likes and dislikes, but approach with caution to avoid that which may become abusive. If the sub is one who wishes (and is able) to learn, desires to obey and become better at controlling the offensive behavior, an effective punishment, in general, will only have to be done once to correct that behavior. Exactly...

Mavis -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 5:58:59 PM)
i'm back to beat my drum that discipline isn't the same as punishment. Discipline can be corrective in nature, or even punative in nature, but mostly, discipline is training and channeling behavior. That is done BEFORE the infractions, not as a result of it. Punishment and correction are done After. Now, if the question is how do You punish a sam? the same way You'd punish a non-sam, make sure undesirable behavior always carries an unpleasant result.

tcl0712 -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 8:58:50 PM)
quote: I dont know who 'they' are but they certainly are in the minority if theyre not into being flogged or spanked, Sounds like your dealing with inexperience submissive does not equal masochist... a person can be both or one or the other. Not having a thing for pain does not make someone a SAM or any less of a submissive... it is his or hers actions and heart. i know submissives who have been doing wiitwd for 10-15 years who are not masochists.

SirLordTrainer -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 9:30:48 PM)
Or maybe Im a tad more experienced and you need to study more and catch up? This isnt kindergarten college, its B D S M.. Its Not about P A I N

Lordandmaster -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 9:32:10 PM)
I move on to the next one. There are plenty of fish in the sea. quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I see a lot of subs saying that they are fiesty and a handful. Then they say that they are not into floggings or spankings. The question is How do you disipline them.

juliaoceania -> RE: Subs/Sams (9/29/2006 10:37:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tcl0712 quote: I dont know who 'they' are but they certainly are in the minority if theyre not into being flogged or spanked, Sounds like your dealing with inexperience submissive does not equal masochist... a person can be both or one or the other. Not having a thing for pain does not make someone a SAM or any less of a submissive... it is his or hers actions and heart. i know submissives who have been doing wiitwd for 10-15 years who are not masochists. And not all masochistic submissives are sams either. Many of us want to please and get pain as a reward, not as a punishment... and if we misbehave we do not get spanked (speaking from my own life here)

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