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Mercnbeth -> RE: In the online world ... (8/28/2006 10:08:03 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BlueHnS
When meeting someone for the first time does it give you pause if you see Master/Mistress, Sir/Ma'am, or sub/slave as part of their nic?
Yes.
On the submissive side, especially those that send messages to us, when they call themselves "slave" I ask; "slave of whom/what?" Submissive is a identity trait. You can identify yourself as being submissive or as a submissive. Slave requires something more. For your identity to be a slave you are required to have an owner. If you bankrupt yourself for your wardrobe, you'd be a "slave to fashion", overeating - a "slave to food"; but a slave in the context of this site's primary focus requires another person who has accepted the responsibility of ownership.
Same applies on the other side of the ledger. You can be "Master of your domain", but without having the ownership responsibilities of another human; "Master of who/what?" And again, you can have a dominant personality or take the dominant role in a physical/mental encounter with anther person. It makes you a dominant, but not anyone's Master. If you've be "granted the title" whether from the Free-Masons or the "International Domain Involved in Organized Titillating Sensations"; you retain the title in the group but shouldn't expect instant recognition outside the specific community.
If you think about it in those terms and apply the literal definition for the labels you'll discover that a self label is pretty silly. In an on-line environment, with no intent or desire for real time contact, self labeling is harmless. But in speaking to people seeking a touching contact with another body relationship, I tell them that it's been our experience that the dominance or submissiveness of a person is in inverse proportion to the dominance/submissiveness of their name. All other issues being equal, I'd consider my chance of a successful meeting would be greater with a "begginya" than "kijara-gutter slut slave whore of the universe"
With us, it's simple. When we meet people, I introduce beth as my slave. I introduce myself by my first name. beth is the only person I expect to call me Master. I don't have any other slave. I don't require that from anyone else. However, I will respect how anyone else would have their slave or submissive refer to me. Similarly, I require beth to respect how anyone else would like to be called. But when it comes right down to it, our names for each other are only critical to our relationship. We have no need to be validated by how someone else refers to us.
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