RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique

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RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 3:50:58 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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People aren't even allowed to use terms like unmentionables to skirt the issue, They do, but even unmentionables, little ones, pint size people, all those referances aren't allowe.

Now true they happen.

I don't know about referancing when we adults, were not adults. I just know that mention of children is against tos.

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

Threads mentioning children or hinting at minors are not allowed on collarme and are against site TOS's

Ok, see this is where Ive always gotten confused about the TOS and what it really means when they say no unmentionable speak because we were all unmentionables at one time. Are we not allowed to say "when I was such-and-such an age", as long as it is clear that we are speaking now as an adult and we are not talking about anything sexual that happened when we were not an adult? I have seen threads put on notice and posts pulled that seemed really harmless but violated the letter of the law and then Ive seen threads and posts that talk about past abuse etc etc that don't get pulled.
Does anyone know exactly where the line is drawn?

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 21

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 4:02:20 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

There were these two kids in the neighborhood who me and my brother Stephen were always getting in trouble with when we were 10-12 years old, Eddy and Stephen.
One day when I wasn't with them their father brought them over to our house by the scruff of the neck and the next thing I heard was my father yelling "Stephen! Get the hell out here!"
They were all out in the front yard and the other guy Eddy Sr. was slapping his two kids around.
I was in our living room looking out the window and my brother saw me and I started making exagerated laughing motions and gave him the finger. He said, "Fuck You!" to me and my father who couldn't see me said; "What!!!" What the hell did you say to me!!!???" "BAMMMMMM!" He got it good! lol

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 22

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 4:09:53 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My parents sent me to my room a lot to "think" about what I did wrong, and spanked me maybe 5 times throughout my life. There was some guilt attached to my discipline, make me feel bad about what I did, and I would not be likely to repeat it... Only worked because I adored them..smiles

I do not think my discipline as a child plays into my play preferences.

I would think that all a Dom would have to say to you is that you "disappointed" him about something.. and would that cut you to the quick.. would this be accurate?

Abso-freakin-lutely....smiles... I think this is why Sinergy knows punishing me wouldn't be as effective as just looking at me as though he didn't know who I was (he hasn't done this). That would crush me! He knows how it works with me, and he has told me once that Im just not one that it would be productive to "punish", he says I punish myself, even over things I shouldn't.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 23

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 4:16:29 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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On the rare ocasion I would need disipline it will not be corperal punishment. I do not think corperal punishment is apropriate to use on me. And in most cases the transgretion will not warrent something as extream as cp.

We were screamed at, yelled at, told to go to hell, slapped in our faces. so hard once she left a handprint, we were told we were ungratefull brats, all kinds of things. We'd also be on ocasion spanked by her, but more often dad was made to. And mom never once said she was sorry or that she loved us or that we were ok again after punishment. Infact she became and stayed cold mean and distant to us for weeks after some minor little thing. Things like that she did which erooded our relationship and our trust in her.

That could never, will never, and would never go on in a D/s relationship I was a part of. If he ever eroded my trust it'd be on its way to being over.

Edited to add something.

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 8/21/2006 4:26:06 PM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 24

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 4:19:29 PM

BrokenDoll

Posts: 106
Joined: 8/15/2006
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My mom didnt beleave in spanking she was spnked growing up and never ever hit us and never let anyone els hit us.
I was usualy very good growing up I never got grounded never was trouble in school every now and then id have a fight with one of my parents but for the most part i was well behaved. I never even got a detention or even got sent to the deans office in school.... but then again i was never evn punished when i should have been and maybe thats why I crave it now.

_____________________________

Please take care of your toys treat them with Love and respect, For broken toys are no fun at all!

-doll-

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 25

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 4:22:31 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Oh yeah, we were always getting slapped in the face too.
If a sub wanted me to do that to her we'd have to sit down and discuss it.
That's not something I'd do on my own.

(in reply to BrokenDoll)

Post #: 26

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 4:51:16 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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I was shocked to see the conversation about this thread and the TOS rules. This was/is not to be confused with being in support of abuse. This is mearly what it is.. an account of how as kids.. WE saw things growing up and how it formed our D/s personalities.

If this thread has caused anyone undue angst or flashbacks.. I apologize and would not take offece if this thread was pulled. It was not my intent at all.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 27

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 5:28:48 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Lotus, I took this thread just as you meant it.
No problem here.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 28

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 6:01:58 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
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From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Lotus, I took this thread just as you meant it.
No problem here.

Good :)

What I'm curious about now, is noting how the Dr. Benjamin Spok generation expresses the D/sBDSM behaviours as opposed to us old timers that had different discipline in our early days.

I see a difference, not so much in the mechanics of it..but the mind set in the practice of it. Anyone else care to comment?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 29

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 6:07:59 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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My mom didn't use Spock

What do you think the difference is?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 30

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 6:14:41 PM

justheather

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Joined: 10/4/2005
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Well, for what it's worth: My mom had the Spock book. :-)

We were spanked one time that I can remember. The threat of my Dad spanking us hung in the air and was very very real, but it only happened once that I can remember.

My mother used to say that she "didnt even want to see us" when she was angry. We had to stay out of her way and not initiate any conversation with her at all. We were to disappear until we were given some sort of signal from her that things were ok again.

I don't see this as being influential in how my kink is expressed, but I do see its fingerprint on how I react to certain disciplining techniques with my sig other. It is particularly difficult for me to be sent away from his attention as a result of an offense, especially when I do not know how long the interim will last. Usually, it helps me if he gives me some sort of act of penance I can perform while Im away from him. It helps me to focus and to still feel connected to him as opposed to just floating out in limbo waiting for him to invite me back into his grace.

Our particular pattern of interaction when I have committed an offense very much mirrors the ideas I was taught as a child about sin and the subsequent experience of being separated from God...but that's another thread, I guess.

I would add that my earliest fantasies, which were completely nonsexual, were about being punished and humiliated for being "dirty", and had nothing to do with corporal punishment at all.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 31

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 6:16:39 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My mom didn't use Spock

What do you think the difference is?

I'm still comparing my mental notes. But off the cuff, I would say it has a more romantic tone, much of like the cover of the romance novels in the supermarket. I see it also as more monogomous. I would have to say the desire for One slave per Master is the preference . If one is the first slave and master takes another.. she had better be the ALPHA and the new one have to answer to her in the absence of master. Just thinking out loud here.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 32

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 6:19:34 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I will say this far; having had the living shit wailed out of me in anger.....and all the attendant firehosing of chemical imbalances and so on.....

I know what the spit as thick as horse glue, inability to talk, the calm and razor sharp focus and clarity of the mind, the overwhelming warmth and sleepy grandeur that comes with the endorphins and all that is about..........

but at least in this area, I am not a submissive, and have no masochistic tendencies.......

Those days ended when I bounced my old man thru a dining room table.....he was laid up for a while.......

someone or two on this site, knew my old man, and would not think that such a thing is in any realistic realm.

but I am the one most like my father. Very type A. Some people on this site have seen a little of it.......If the volcano erupts, (for reason) my righteous indignation would make the angels of death appear as tho they were caspar milquetoasts. I would, like Hannibal Lechtor, make you swallow your tongue.......mostly just to get away from me. I haven't had that large of a blowup for years and years (last divorce) and my father had three heart attacks from it by my age. So, I work on it. But I am still in many parts of life an intolerant asshole.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 33

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 6:33:01 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My mom didn't use Spock

What do you think the difference is?

I'm still comparing my mental notes. But off the cuff, I would say it has a more romantic tone, much of like the cover of the romance novels in the supermarket. I see it also as more monogomous. I would have to say the desire for One slave per Master is the preference . If one is the first slave and master takes another.. she had better be the ALPHA and the new one have to answer to her in the absence of master. Just thinking out loud here.

I thought the romance element came into being because of the impact of the internet and books like The Loving Dominant by John Warren... that sort of thing. Perhaps it is Spock though, and not the Vulcan one...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 34

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 7:19:28 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

I have the "switch" (folded venitian blind cording attached to a wooden handle with black duct tape) that my father used to punish us with, but while I adore flogging, I can't bring myself to use it.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 35

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 7:44:57 PM

KindredTotem

Posts: 156
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

Growing up I was very rarely disciplined even then it wasn't so much the physical part that got me but the talk before hand. I am totally into giving pain / being a painslut, however making a point of how disappointed I am really hits home with anyone I have dealt with.

_____________________________

KT says:

Life changes a person, in their views, in their thoughts and in their action. The one thing that never changes is the persons main values.

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 36

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 8:40:44 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Justheather, you sound like you had an Irish/Catholic upbringing.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 37

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 8:44:47 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

Well, Glory Be and Saints Preserve Us Popeye, Im thinkin ya have a touch of the gift!
What gave it away, the guilt, my preoccupation with death, or my love of the potato? ;-)

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 38

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 8:50:13 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

It was all the Mott the Hoople CDs in the background of your picture.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 39

RE: Early Discipline-Present Technique - 8/21/2006 9:06:33 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Justheather, you sound like you had an Irish/Catholic upbringing.

Yanno.. pre-Vatican II was the fast lane to BDSM I think :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 40

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