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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 8:58:50 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead
I'm a bit snobbish that way.

I do not see that as snobbish, but I do see it as potentially limiting.

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 9:12:35 AM

Bearlee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

In otherwords... I think Agreements can lead to Entitlements and Entitlments can lead to Expecations of their fulfilment.

Kinda like if the government agrees to offer welfare to people who meet certain requirements...then those who do meet those requirements an expect the Entitlements; are entitled to the welfare.

Whether or not we agree with the government or it's requirements is a different story.

I'd agree...if, in a relationship, we agree love to be a component of the relationship and it is expressed between the two people, then they must come to expect it and in fact feel entitled to it. Unfortunately, love is a fickle thing and sometimes sort of evaporates. It takes work to keep it alive...I'd be better off expecting one to continue to work at it than just feeling entitled to it.

Does that makes sense at all? I'm thinking on the fly, here! LOL
beverly

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 9:21:32 AM

Fawne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Have any of you considered the performance pressure you place on others ...?
And how easily it may kill the very thing you desire?

Love does not grow from desperation.---

I express romanticism in creativity. I will not be able to love someone who I do not see as my peer in artistry. So the girly girl consumer types have no chance with me.

Yes, heavy expectations of "performance pressure" stress and can 'kill' a relationship. If someone "demands" love- certainly such is not loving.

I can see how a flat, blatent conformity to society's mass produced consumerism is quite unimaginative.

Yet, respectfully... how does lack of creativity, artistry equate with being "female"?

(Thinking Michaelangelo...a great artist with a distaste for females yet a love for males)

If one has such a low and narrow view of 'girls' and love... why bother with either?

Home is where the heart is...

smile and sincere good luck

< Message edited by Fawne -- 8/16/2006 9:26:22 AM >

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 9:23:08 AM

Homestead

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead
I'm a bit snobbish that way.

I do not see that as snobbish, but I do see it as potentially limiting.

I'm obviously not for everyone.

Being "Macdoms" is not my goal in life.

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 9:25:49 AM

Homestead

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

Have any of you considered the performance pressure you place on others ...?
And how easily it may kill the very thing you desire?

Love does not grow from desperation.

Yes, heavy expectations of "performance pressure" stress and can 'kill' a relationship. If someone "demands" love- certainly such is not loving.

I can see how a flat, blatent conformity to society's mass produced consumerism is quite unimaginative.

Yet, respectfully... how does lack of creativity, artistry equate with being "female"?

(Thinking Michaelangelo...a great artist with a distaste for females yet a love for males)

If one has such a low and narrow view of 'girls' and love... why bother with either?

Home is where the heart is...

smile and sincere good luck

I only filter out some. The banal,the unimaginitive-the desperately needy. I know what lights my fires.

What does luck have to do with chasing away things that don't work?

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 9:30:41 AM

raiken

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My thoughts...

Love happens... Lust happens... All of it is there, and making the distinction between what i feel is love, or passion, or lust, is hard at first because all of these feelings and emotions may all hit me at the same time. So i take things slow and examine exactly what it is i am experiencing. Love is best when it is thought of as a principle, it is there no matter what happens, it is forgiving, tolerant and understanding. It has no conditions and is not performance based. It is solid and steady, and the underlying baseline.

It is the emotions that move up and down from this baseline. The emotions of lust and passion are not always forgiving and are very much, especially lust, performance driven. They are always in the immediacy of perceived needs/wants, and require immediate gratification/satisfaction. Emotions are temporal and fleeting. Unconditional love, is patient, and will endure for the long term if in fact it is love. i don't see love as a gift but rather a principle necessary for keeping alive the human spirit.

Once i love someone, it just flows, with no expectations, i give because it flows from my being, not because i expect something in return, i give without conditions. However, if i feel that the love connection i share with another becomes toxic or unhealthy, then i will decide to love them from a distance, but somehow, once i love, it is there. It takes a long time to fade. Once i believe that what i feel is this type of love for another, then i have two choices. i can decide to allow that love to grow, or i can decide to cut it off and let it fade or die. It takes a lot to kill my love once it is in place and flowing out, for i have a huge and forgiving heart, but at the same time, i will protect my heart and have learned how to walk away from poison, and not give in to the immediacy of what my other emotions are craving. i don't know about you all, but that is how it works for me.

< Message edited by raiken -- 8/16/2006 9:32:41 AM >

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 9:40:55 AM

Fawne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fawne
smile and sincere good luck

quote:

What does luck have to do with chasing away things that don't work?

Why, thank you. A reminder not to rely on over used phrases of simplicity.

Truly, luck can have more than simple connotations.
While we make our own luck, usually by hard work... does not 'fate' perhaps play a hand?

(Why spend time on curious message boards...
When I could be out shopping!

)

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 6:50:18 PM

eroticangel

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love isn;t an entitlement....love is just something that happens.....it kinda sneaks up on you and ...WHAM...it's there.....i know, i can't decide not to love...i can't turn it on and off like a spigot.....i think love always keeps a little part of your heart it makes you who you are...and makes you feel what you feel...of course, whule in love, flowers smell better, colors are brighter and nothing seems as bad when there is one to love and share it with. love is unconditional and kind. in my opionion the worls needs more love

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 7:13:47 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

But is anyone ENTITLED to it?

There is no universal answer to this one.

but.. If I enter into a relationship with another and we are in agreement that Love is apart of the relationship. Then we have established entitlements.

We both believe that we deserve to have love within our relationship and as part of that we also acknowledge that it is a priviledge and joy to have that love from the other.

So some Individual relationships may respond with a Yes.

However, equally so, people can enter into a relationship where Love is not apart of the relationship. For some Love is an inhibiting dynamic with an M/s relationship. Therefore you will not see love as an entitlement with these individauls in there M/s Relationships.

So some individual relationships may respond with a NO.

It all depends on what they believe and what they grant to them

Ditto....thank you for finding the words for me KOM...Tempting

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 7:26:36 PM

WhipTheHip

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have said this before, love is a need for human beings. People heal quicker that are loved, they suffer less depression, they have less disease, and they also live longer... even if it is the love of a dog. We are need love, and love in my mind is something one cannot merit or earn, it is a gift we give another. We cannot earn another's love, they have to give it to us.

How very true. I can't think of anything to add.

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 7:35:42 PM

sharainks

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Maybe my take is a bit different. I would like to think a basic right of humankind is to be able to be loved by someone and to be able to love someone else. Does that mean that they can make others love them? No, but often its when people are acting their most unloveable that they need someone to show them that they care.

I think its sad when someone feels like they "have" to be loved by someone to the point that they try to force that feeling from someone.

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 8:32:31 PM

angielouwhos

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In my humble opinion, love is not really an emotion it's a choice. It has emotional components to it, but in the end its something that means sacrificing for others and all of the other choices that go into the mix. There is some basic expectation of love in most close relationships whether it's the eros kinda love, the philos kind of love or the agape kind of love (or some mixture of two or more of those)

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 8:38:38 PM

Misstoyou

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Entitled to love? No, but entitled to look for it, and not settle, if that's what one wants.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/16/2006 11:43:56 PM

Fawne

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I think I get it. Love can not be forced, it must be free flowing.
One can reject a non loving relationship. I myself seek only a loving relationship. Love needs to grow, not stifle.

I am thinking of that song - by The Who, "You better, you better, you bet"
Words - "I say I love you, you say: you'd better...."

In peace, fawne

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/17/2006 2:44:23 AM

Kedikat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

But is anyone ENTITLED to it?

Maybe a person is worthy of it. I don't think entitled. It is a two way street. Or multi lane freeway for some :)

< Message edited by Kedikat -- 8/17/2006 2:45:33 AM >

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/17/2006 3:09:53 AM

meatcleaver

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I think the whole idea of entitlement exposes the shallowness of our culture. No one is entitled to anything and if people are looking out into the world at large for answers to their fullfillment they are looking the wrong way because the answers lay within.

Love make happen or it may not, it is after all, a physical response to someone than an actual object that can be found. Finding love is shooting at a moving target from a moving position, things may never been lined up in a conducive way to find love so its pointless worrying about it and a waste of time bleating about entitlement.

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/17/2006 3:45:40 AM

losttreasure

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I see this idea expresssed quite a bit.

Have any of you considered the performance pressure you place on others with this expectation? And how easily it may kill the very thing you desire?

Love does not grow from desperation.

Entitled to love? No. However, I am entitled to require its presence in an intimate relationship, and have the right to cease any relationship where that love is not fostered, nurtured or displayed.

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/17/2006 4:05:56 AM

mons

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greetings to all

oh dear me i am entiled to this oh to feel that love it is the one thing i wish not one person will not ever have it is so sweet to feel it everything and one is so nice to see and the colors of my painting and my way i draw show this, i am sure everyone has hear that saying ( i rather loved and lose then to not have ever loved at all) this is so true i remember my love he gave me so much joy and warm and yes my firsrt orgasm but he was not my first love but i will always remember him in my mind and dreams. but i have love again and felt the butterflies and that feeling of protecttion and strenght if i had to go back and live that time again even though my heart was broken i would do it

now there at two andmany types of love the birth of child i could not explain this if you have no childern now adoption is the same as birthing a child so now this love is so deep i would kill for my son if someon were to hurt him i do not blink when i say this is the love of my life. the hugs the kisses the things he would ask me and all of the joys anf pain that come with this i thank god for the two great love i have and had. when oi had breast cancer my son was there that pain me so to tell him he woke in the nigh and i fetl him standing over me i got up and went to his room we oth cried for long .
i felt so bad that i had brought such pain to him he asked me " are you going to live " i had not ideal everyone but i lie and told him yes. i am so thankful i am here for him now we ar both artist. thank you for letting me write this yes love comes in many different ways and yes we all are entiled to this thing call love

mons

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RE: Entitled to love? - 8/17/2006 9:02:23 AM

onestandingstill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Maybe our children. Here is the websters definition:

Main Entry: en·ti·tle·ment
Pronunciation: -'tI-t&l-m&nt
Function: noun
1 a : the state or condition of being entitled : RIGHT b : a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract
2 : a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group; also : funds supporting or distributed by such a program
3 : belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges

Now read that and decide where love fits in there?

It doesn't as far as I am concerned, although opinions will vary

Love to me fits in for me in the part where I feel I am deserving of another human being's love. It's not that I expect it as a free gift, but rather one I can cultivate and grow with someone much like a garden.
Suzanne

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