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Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:00:11 AM   
MarkWilliam


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm sure this isn't a new topic by any means, but I'm curious to know what tricks (ie techniques) prospective subs and slaves have up their sleeves to weed out the many fakes amongst us.

I know I'm sincere about who I say I am and what I want, but how would you go about getting me to prove it?

< Message edited by MarkWilliam -- 7/31/2006 10:15:10 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:07:04 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		No tricks.  Tricks are for kids, and that doesn't mean ageplay.

I simply use time together.  I watch.  I observe.  Classic but still effective.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MarkWilliam)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:11:22 AM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		Time.

And trusting my insticts. If someone seems sketchy to my from the get-go, most likely they are. I don't need to have them prove it to me later down the road.


_____________________________

He who laughs last didn't get the joke


We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

(in reply to MarkWilliam)
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RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:12:08 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

No tricks.  Tricks are for kids, and that doesn't mean ageplay.

I simply use time together.  I watch.  I observe.  Classic but still effective.


I'm with LA... I talk, communicate and see how consistent someone is.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:13:42 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarkWilliam

I'm sure this isn't a new topic by any means, but I'm curious to know what tricks prospective subs and slaves have up their sleeves to weed out the many fakes amongst us.

I know I'm sincere about who I say I am and what I want, but how would you go about getting me to prove it?

No tricks used here. Much like LA stated, the best policy is time spent together...IN REAL LIFE

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to MarkWilliam)
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RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:18:37 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarkWilliam

I'm sure this isn't a new topic by any means, but I'm curious to know what tricks (ie techniques) prospective subs and slaves have up their sleeves to weed out the many fakes amongst us.

I know I'm sincere about who I say I am and what I want, but how would you go about getting me to prove it?


i would not use any specific tactic to get you "to prove" it - you would prove it yourself over time.  Many can talk a good game and draw us in with words, few can keep us there once we see their insincerity, which will surface in time. 

(in reply to MarkWilliam)
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RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:24:23 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not trying to hijack the thread, and I don't think I am by extending the question.  All of your responses, quite fair by the way, assumes that you have a relative proximity to the person you're evaluating.

But for some people, distance and/or relocation means that you are examining someone not easily able to 'touch'.  So, to extend the question, how do you determine veracity in what starts out as long-distance (hoping to move to R/T)?

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to MarkWilliam)
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RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:30:37 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

I'm not trying to hijack the thread, and I don't think I am by extending the question.  All of your responses, quite fair by the way, assumes that you have a relative proximity to the person you're evaluating.

But for some people, distance and/or relocation means that you are examining someone not easily able to 'touch'.  So, to extend the question, how do you determine veracity in what starts out as long-distance (hoping to move to R/T)?

Jeff

Actually, no, the answer is the same.  I have been in and am now in a LDR.

Time is the best answer.  Time together especially, but lacking that, simple time will reveal all.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:31:19 AM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		Long-distance can often be verified in the same way, although it does have its limitations and caution is still the smart thing when you do actually meet R/T.  I know this, because I had three LD vanilla-style relationships and in the first two cases, the rat eventually gave himself away.  They always do. 
 
I would say that the same time and conversation works in the online realm, but it takes longer.  Things said should be taken with a grain of salt and compared to things said later.  I would suspect anyone who was in a hurry to do something R/T, simply because I think any reasonable person would understand the need for safety and getting to know someone before you go to the additional trouble of travel.
 
Incidentally, that third LD relationship worked out just fine.    We've been married over four years now and are doing very well together.
 
zuma

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:32:28 AM   
MarkWilliam


Posts: 13
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, that's very true velvetears.

I regularly read comments in people's profiles referring to the falsity of some of the Doms on this site, so I was led to presume that sincerity is a widespread concern for many of the subs and slaves looking for their One.

Seems that intuition remains one of women's strongest virtues.


(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:35:18 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmm..... chastised by LA - not a good sign.  Here I thought I was building up some credibility.  I promise to do better next time.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:35:50 AM   
Kagesuta


Posts: 36
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Da Druben
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
But for some people, distance and/or relocation means that you are examining someone not easily able to 'touch'.  So, to extend the question, how do you determine veracity in what starts out as long-distance (hoping to move to R/T)?


I'm curious to know this as well, albeit for my own reference... I've had an e-mail correspondence going on with someone for a few weeks now, but I'm still not sure about them. On the one hand, they seem to know and like exactly what I want, but I still have a nagging suspicion that it might be too good to be true.

Things I've already tried include searching for uses of a person's name and e-mail address in websites. Google will typically find some kind of article on just about anybody, if they've used the internet long enough. It can be a good way of finding things out, when the person in question won't tell you about themselves.

Edit: I keep neglecting to notice when threads are directed toward female subs... Eh, sorry about that. But I imagine the same principles work, when dealing with a dom or domme.


< Message edited by Kagesuta -- 7/31/2006 10:41:08 AM >

_____________________________

Remember, there are always more fish in the sea. And women, too, if you aren't into fish.

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:38:53 AM   
Sasy


Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline 		There are alot of things I look for and some key phrases that  will make me shut down conversations.
I do not like bondage ... so when their reply is ... Well you  just havent been bound right....Is there a right and wrong to bondage ( barring unsafe things) is it not what  makes both  happy or content ? Bondage makes me neither happy nor content but not a limit  thus being told it hasnt  been done right ... not knowing  my  reasoning behind it tells me they  really  dont care to  know thus ... Bye bye

* if you  were truly a slave you  would do ... *  With the right person there is no telling WHAT  I would  do  I  learned that  hard way with  Ex ... I  would have done anything. But in the  beginning of talking  I have the right to  express what I  feel  are limits slave or not and seek to find someone with  those limits ( I am sorry  tho I dont think I will eat crap  for ANYONE which is last time I was told if I were slave I would)

The phrase I can whip you into submission or MAKE you behave or MAKE you  do ....
Make  me want to do  them for you  Making me  do them isnt submitting to  me submission comes from my  heart not your whip And yes submitting to  the whip is fine .

Those are just my  thoughts on what I look for when seeing who I  feel  is more real

_____________________________

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 10:43:22 AM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kagesuta

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
But for some people, distance and/or relocation means that you are examining someone not easily able to 'touch'.  So, to extend the question, how do you determine veracity in what starts out as long-distance (hoping to move to R/T)?


I'm curious to know this as well, albeit for my own reference... I've had an e-mail correspondence going on with someone for a few weeks now, but I'm still not sure about them. On the one hand, they seem to know and like exactly what I want, but I still have a nagging suspicion that it might be too good to be true.

Things I've already tried include searching for uses of a person's name and e-mail address in websites. Google will typically find some kind of article on just about anybody, if they've used the internet long enough. It can be a good way of finding things out, when the person in question won't tell you about themselves.



When in doubt, trust your gut feeling.  Never rush in where your intestines fear to tread.   
 
If this person's given you their name, you can probably find out a lot about them.  But I suspect 'supa spy' tactics might make them nervous about /you/ instead if they learn of it.  Honestly, time will always tell.  For LDR, I've found that it works for me if I go like this (no particular time frames set for any phase): 1) e-mail, 2) chat, 3) phone and THEN 4) face-to-face meeting somewhere public.  Never be in a hurry.  There should be a plethora of things you can discuss online that will further illuminate this person's character.  If they won't talk or keep steering to topics already covered, I'd be suspicious.
 
zuma

(in reply to Kagesuta)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 11:14:37 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kagesuta
Edit: I keep neglecting to notice when threads are directed toward female subs... Eh, sorry about that. But I imagine the same principles work, when dealing with a dom or domme.

They do, don't worry about genderized terms.  People tend to post based on their own perspectives, not because they are trying to be exclusive.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Kagesuta)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 11:28:55 AM   
MistressSavage


Posts: 32
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline 		I have to go with listen to your instincts as well.  If something feels wrong it probably is.


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 11:32:40 AM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		I have a way to weed out the married men, one I shared with girls in the past. Get a name and dob,(real) and run a background check for birth and marriage certificates.

Kills cheaters dead, all you have to do is ask and be refused.

(in reply to MistressSavage)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 11:58:53 AM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarkWilliam

I'm sure this isn't a new topic by any means, but I'm curious to know what tricks (ie techniques) prospective subs and slaves have up their sleeves to weed out the many fakes amongst us.

I know I'm sincere about who I say I am and what I want, but how would you go about getting me to prove it?


My advice to those "prospectives" would include: Leave a lot of room between yourself and anyone who asks for the answer sheet before the examination begins.

(in reply to MarkWilliam)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 12:02:32 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I don't really have any tricks. I do have a few little tests that give me an idea of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I like to kid around and I'll often make a little joke at the other persons expense. Nothing spiteful, just fun. If they take offense I know I have someone who takes himself too seriously for my taste. If he jokes right back I know we'll get along. I will usually delve into some emotional territory. Relay an emotional event or vulnerability to see what reaction I get. I want to make sure he's someone that is willing to be emotionally responsive and supportive if the need arises.

Otherwise I just pay attention. I've found that people who are trusting are usually more trustworthy. If they are unwilling or unable to give you a full name, home phone, address etc... there is probably a reason. If they are easily forthcoming with the information, volunteering it before it's even asked for, they are generally more trustworthy.

One man I met for lunch said he was separated but only called me when he was out of town, or wanted to see me for lunches. He'd call and call and chat on the phone for hours when he was in a hotel room on business, but as soon as he was home I wouldn't hear from him. Then he'd call again next time he was out of town. When we did meet it was for lunch, which was nice and neutral for a first meet, but then the second time he wanted to meet for lunch again, and never suggested an evening get together. Just seemed fishy to me.

Men who disappear for days at a time and then call and want to see you that night. Probably married and found out at the last minute the wife was going to be out.

Men who won't plan dates/meets ahead of time and want to do everything with a days or less notice. Probably seeing someone regularly or several women and dialing til they find someone available.

Although I have to say perhaps I need new tactics since I was just whining on another thread that I've once again experienced the "disappearing Dom" syndrome. I'll be watching this thread and taking notes.

(in reply to Homestead)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Genuine or junk? - 7/31/2006 12:05:56 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		A friend of mine once explained to me how she does a 'fast sort' in talking with prospective Doms, and I'm definately a supporter of her method.

She'll often ask a simple question that most credible Doms should be able to answer easily, if they're serious about the safety and welfare of the sub. Often she'll ask several over the course of a few emails, but not in a questionaire format, more like a discussion format. She'll be often more impressed when the Dom will answer and then ask questions of his own. One example she gave me was regarding nipple clamps. "How long should nipple clamps be in place?", you'd be suprised at how many wash out without even knowing it. Mmmmm, maybe not! lol

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 20
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