RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheimers?

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RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/19/2015 8:11:08 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Extravagasm

Hubbie Henry could've been a rocket scientist, as a young man, what of it? That was then, this is now. Now, moralizing over guilt and punishments, is inappropriate, because Henry is apparently not all-there either.
Look, if the daughter (or step-daughter) was able to restle power-of-attorney away, then she convinced some important people that Henry was incompetent. That's what it takes. Oops, Mom's sexual consent wasn't the only one invalid. Dad's wasn't either.

Step-dad.. not dad.. I think that played a big part in the daughter wanting/getting POA.. she may not have liked the man, thats the impression i get, at any rate..

he was more competent than she was and at the time he was a state legislator, creating and passing laws state residents must live with.. if he wasnt competent to give his consent to rape/have sex with his wife then how competent was he to create and pass laws???

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Post #: 21

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/19/2015 8:14:54 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
So as well as having a disease, you're now denied sexual pleasure. Personally I think this is a product of extremely conservative values. (Old people having sex? Ewwwww!)

I think its ironic that this can be viewed as a product of "extremely conservative values" when the man/alleged rapist is an R state legislator and we all know the R's (especially R politicians) arent known for being liberal/progressive in their values..

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Post #: 22

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/19/2015 10:16:57 AM

Marini

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: Extravagasm

Hubbie Henry could've been a rocket scientist, as a young man, what of it? That was then, this is now. Now, moralizing over guilt and punishments, is inappropriate, because Henry is apparently not all-there either.
Look, if the daughter (or step-daughter) was able to restle power-of-attorney away, then she convinced some important people that Henry was incompetent. That's what it takes. Oops, Mom's sexual consent wasn't the only one invalid. Dad's wasn't either.

Step-dad.. not dad.. I think that played a big part in the daughter wanting/getting POA.. she may not have liked the man, thats the impression i get, at any rate..

he was more competent than she was and at the time he was a state legislator, creating and passing laws state residents must live with.. if he wasnt competent to give his consent to rape/have sex with his wife then how competent was he to create and pass laws???

tj, I have never felt that everyone that is an elected official, or has a political position is sane.

I think Mr. Rayhons wanted to have sex, and damn it he was GOING to have sex.
In his mind, having sex with his wife, was his RIGHT, regardless of what anyone else had to say.
Like I said earlier, he had a sense of "entitlement".

< Message edited by Marini -- 4/19/2015 10:30:08 AM >

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Post #: 23

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/19/2015 12:50:20 PM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

Would you really want to have sex with someone in a nursing home, that has a roommate in the room?

If it might be the last chance to make love to the women I have spent my life loving, then yea, I might. And if it were me lying in that bed I would hope my wife would know me well enough to know if I wanted it or not. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that the wife had a problem with it, so I am not sure why the daughter did.

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Post #: 24

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/19/2015 12:55:02 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

tj, I have never felt that everyone that is an elected official, or has a political position is sane.

I think Mr. Rayhons wanted to have sex, and damn it he was GOING to have sex.
In his mind, having sex with his wife, was his RIGHT, regardless of what anyone else had to say.
Like I said earlier, he had a sense of "entitlement".

ok.. but if you feel that way about politicians, why do you vote? doesnt voting then show some amount of "insanity".. especially as you keep "doing the same thing but expecting a different result"..

I wonder how much religion played into his decision.. he could easily have gone to a sex worker instead.. maybe the marriage vows and not cheating is part of his reasoning.. but he could have also abstained.. It will be interesting to see what the trial and verdict reveals.. assuming he doesnt plea out..

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Post #: 25

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/19/2015 1:00:49 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

Would you really want to have sex with someone in a nursing home, that has a roommate in the room?

If it might be the last chance to make love to the women I have spent my life loving, then yea, I might. And if it were me lying in that bed I would hope my wife would know me well enough to know if I wanted it or not. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that the wife had a problem with it, so I am not sure why the daughter did.

I think the article said they had been married for only 7 years.. so they hadnt been together all that long.. and too, some wives consider sex to be a "duty", especially of that era (where most men were clueless/didnt give a shite as to female orgasms)..

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Post #: 26

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/19/2015 3:01:05 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

Would you really want to have sex with someone in a nursing home, that has a roommate in the room?

If it might be the last chance to make love to the women I have spent my life loving, then yea, I might. And if it were me lying in that bed I would hope my wife would know me well enough to know if I wanted it or not. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that the wife had a problem with it, so I am not sure why the daughter did.

I think the article said they had been married for only 7 years.. so they hadnt been together all that long.. and too, some wives consider sex to be a "duty", especially of that era (where most men were clueless/didnt give a shite as to female orgasms)..

Wow. What a f&*%ed up thing to say. Do you REALLY think that devotion to each other is predicated on how long they had together on this Earth.

I would give an awful lot to be able to have had one more sexual encounter with my late husband.

Oh, and that was a lovely insult you gave the dead lady in suggesting that she could not have enjoyed the sex because of when she was born. Why do you think that she had her head in the sand and completely missed the sexual revolution and feminism? She may very well have been part of the feminist movement. Sheesh!

quote:

I wonder how much religion played into his decision.. he could easily have gone to a sex worker instead.. maybe the marriage vows and not cheating is part of his reasoning.. but he could have also abstained.. It will be interesting to see what the trial and verdict reveals.. assuming he doesnt plea out..

Because a sex worker does NOT replace your spouse!!!!!

It is not about getting your rocks off. It is about intimately connecting with another human being.

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Post #: 27

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/19/2015 7:46:52 PM

MercTech

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Or, is the whole thing driven by the puritanical ethos that considers the only reason for sexual activity is the creation of offspring. After aging past child rearing years; you are supposed to be asexual.

And, so many nursing homes have rules against sexual contact. Married couples are forbidden from being in each others rooms after lights out. A public show of affection can get a person kicked out of the nursing home.

I have to wonder if the cited care facility was one of those gulags for the aging.

(in reply to Aylee)

Post #: 28

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/20/2015 8:26:04 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

Would you really want to have sex with someone in a nursing home, that has a roommate in the room?

If it might be the last chance to make love to the women I have spent my life loving, then yea, I might. And if it were me lying in that bed I would hope my wife would know me well enough to know if I wanted it or not. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that the wife had a problem with it, so I am not sure why the daughter did.

I think the article said they had been married for only 7 years.. so they hadnt been together all that long.. and too, some wives consider sex to be a "duty", especially of that era (where most men were clueless/didnt give a shite as to female orgasms)..

Wow. What a f&*%ed up thing to say. Do you REALLY think that devotion to each other is predicated on how long they had together on this Earth.

I would give an awful lot to be able to have had one more sexual encounter with my late husband.

Oh, and that was a lovely insult you gave the dead lady in suggesting that she could not have enjoyed the sex because of when she was born. Why do you think that she had her head in the sand and completely missed the sexual revolution and feminism? She may very well have been part of the feminist movement. Sheesh!

quote:

I wonder how much religion played into his decision.. he could easily have gone to a sex worker instead.. maybe the marriage vows and not cheating is part of his reasoning.. but he could have also abstained.. It will be interesting to see what the trial and verdict reveals.. assuming he doesnt plea out..

Because a sex worker does NOT replace your spouse!!!!!

It is not about getting your rocks off. It is about intimately connecting with another human being.

I said some wives/women of that era.. neither of us knows how "liberated" she was or wasnt but its possible she didnt enjoy sex the way he did..
Of course a sex worker doesnt replace a spouse, I never said it did.. i was pointing out other things he could have done including abstaining.. He was told not to have sex with her as she wasnt capable of consenting to sex (even if she was "liberated") and he still did it.. How exactly do you know that for him it wasnt about him getting his rocks off? He could connect in other ways, holding her hand, kissing her cheek, brushing her hair, talking to her, etc.. etc.. He knew what he was doing, putting her panties in the laundrybag shows he was trying to hide what he did.. He is responsible for the situation he finds himself in..

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Post #: 29

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/21/2015 2:49:00 PM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

Would you really want to have sex with someone in a nursing home, that has a roommate in the room?

If it might be the last chance to make love to the women I have spent my life loving, then yea, I might. And if it were me lying in that bed I would hope my wife would know me well enough to know if I wanted it or not. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that the wife had a problem with it, so I am not sure why the daughter did.

I think the article said they had been married for only 7 years.. so they hadnt been together all that long.. and too, some wives consider sex to be a "duty", especially of that era (where most men were clueless/didnt give a shite as to female orgasms)..

It's kinda sad that you don't seem to understand how much you can love someone after only 7 years or that some women might enjoy making love to their husbands.

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Post #: 30

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/21/2015 2:50:49 PM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
He knew what he was doing, putting her panties in the laundrybag shows he was trying to hide what he did.. He is responsible for the situation he finds himself in..

Or he was nice enough to give his wife a clean pair and the sense to throw the dirty pair in the laundry where it goes. Oh the shock and horror.

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Post #: 31

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/21/2015 4:27:45 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

Would you really want to have sex with someone in a nursing home, that has a roommate in the room?

If it might be the last chance to make love to the women I have spent my life loving, then yea, I might. And if it were me lying in that bed I would hope my wife would know me well enough to know if I wanted it or not. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that the wife had a problem with it, so I am not sure why the daughter did.

I think the article said they had been married for only 7 years.. so they hadnt been together all that long.. and too, some wives consider sex to be a "duty", especially of that era (where most men were clueless/didnt give a shite as to female orgasms)..

It's kinda sad that you don't seem to understand how much you can love someone after only 7 years or that some women might enjoy making love to their husbands.

Hey now! We canNOT allow old people to have sex! They are old and cannot possibly enjoy it! It is ICKY! Because REASONS!

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RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/21/2015 7:13:38 PM

Marini

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Regardless of how we feel about Mr.Rayhon having sex with his wife, I think the major issue here is, the ability to give consent.

I can think of so many other situations in which this could become an issue.
With people living longer with mild to severe dementia, alzheimers, strokes and other cognitive impairments, what is a spouse to do?

I can think of SOOOO many situations {think the movie Notebook}.
What if your wife has dementia and one minute she loves you and wants to be intimate and the next she is screaming get off me, I don't know you?

All I can think is add more paperwork to the mix, when you get married and hope for the best.

< Message edited by Marini -- 4/21/2015 7:19:29 PM >

_____________________________

As always, To EACH their Own.
"And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. "
Nelson Mandela
Life-long Democrat, not happy at all with Democratic Party.
NOT a Republican/Moderate and free agent

(in reply to Aylee)

Post #: 33

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/22/2015 10:07:16 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

Would you really want to have sex with someone in a nursing home, that has a roommate in the room?

If it might be the last chance to make love to the women I have spent my life loving, then yea, I might. And if it were me lying in that bed I would hope my wife would know me well enough to know if I wanted it or not. There was absolutely nothing to indicate that the wife had a problem with it, so I am not sure why the daughter did.

I think the article said they had been married for only 7 years.. so they hadnt been together all that long.. and too, some wives consider sex to be a "duty", especially of that era (where most men were clueless/didnt give a shite as to female orgasms)..

It's kinda sad that you don't seem to understand how much you can love someone after only 7 years or that some women might enjoy making love to their husbands.

what is it with you people? of course that is possible but so is doing it out of a sense of duty or a husband thinking he has the right to have sex even when his wife has dementia so bad that she washes her hands in the toilet.. To me this woman could not possibly have consented anymore than a drugged or drunk or passed out woman could have..

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RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/22/2015 10:19:28 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

All I can think is add more paperwork to the mix, when you get married and hope for the best.

But not all couples get married and even with "paperwork", the law may not accept said paperwork.. when a sub/slave signs a "contract" in this bdsm world doesnt neccessarily make all the things they do legal or any protection at all.. people have been prosecuted even tho they had a "contract"..

I think that once a spouse/partner gets dementia and it is bad enough to affect ability to consent (as in this case), that there will be no legal way to have sex.. it will be considered rape just as sex with someone passed out, drunk or drugged would be..

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RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/22/2015 10:41:47 AM

Lucylastic

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The ability to see more than two sides maybe?
not willing to a put a man in jail, without more information than has been given,
Knowing that alzheimers patients have lucid moments, and still need love and attention, and omg have a sex drive if they wish to.
Theres a 110 things I would wanna know before putting him in jail.

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RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/22/2015 11:00:30 AM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marini

All I can think is add more paperwork to the mix, when you get married and hope for the best.

But not all couples get married and even with "paperwork", the law may not accept said paperwork.. when a sub/slave signs a "contract" in this bdsm world doesnt neccessarily make all the things they do legal or any protection at all.. people have been prosecuted even tho they had a "contract"..

I think that once a spouse/partner gets dementia and it is bad enough to affect ability to consent (as in this case), that there will be no legal way to have sex.. it will be considered rape just as sex with someone passed out, drunk or drugged would be..

What about those with "Sun Downers"?

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Post #: 37

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/22/2015 1:24:08 PM

tj444

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Joined: 3/7/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

The ability to see more than two sides maybe?
not willing to a put a man in jail, without more information than has been given,
Knowing that alzheimers patients have lucid moments, and still need love and attention, and omg have a sex drive if they wish to.
Theres a 110 things I would wanna know before putting him in jail.

Yeah, but you arent in the US. In the US the law doesnt see more than two sides.. the law here and the way its handled is (imo) extremely barbaric in situations with more than two sides or where any compassion is needed.. just look at all the medical mj users that have been thrown in jail cuz mj is illegal in the eyes of the Feds..

I think it would be hard to prove that the wife had any lucid moments, given her stage of alzheimers.. I know a 90 year old woman that has alzheimers and she can manage quite well but she doesnt wash her hands in the toilet and her memory loss is manageable.. If her husband was still alive I would say they should go at it as much as they want..

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Post #: 38

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/22/2015 6:14:14 PM

MercTech

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A bit of binge watching of "Night Shift" last night with my girl got me thinking of this thread. The episode had a humorous bit with an intern being grossed out at tracking STDs going rampant through a nursing home.

(in reply to tj444)

Post #: 39

RE: Is Henry Rayhons guilty of raping wife with Alzheim... - 4/22/2015 8:48:06 PM

camille65

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From: Austin Texas
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Interesting update, he may not have even had sex with his wife much less raped her.

(NEWSER) – A rough trial in Iowa has ended with a not-guilty verdict. Jurors decided not to convict a 78-year-old man accused of raping his wife in a nursing home while she was incapacitated by Alzheimer's. "The truth finally came out," former state lawmaker Henry Rayhons tells the Des Moines Register. He was arrested in August, just a week after his wife of seven years, Donna, died of Alzheimer's complications. The jury did not explain why it reached the not-guilty verdict, notes Bloomberg, which points out that this type of case could become more common given the expanding 65-and-older population in the US.

But the Register reports that defense lawyers raised fundamental doubts about his guilt, including whether Rayhons even had sex with his wife in the facility. He denies it, and while her 86-year-old roommate testified that she heard noises from behind a curtain, she couldn't say whether they were sexual noises. It's not clear who initiated the complaint, but authorities called it rape because staffers had told Rayhons his wife could no longer consent.

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