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LadyHugs -> RE: Meeting as Equals (7/7/2006 11:10:10 AM)
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Dear juliaoceania, Ladies and Gentlemen;
First, my apologies for the incomplete response and send. Hopefully, this one will complete and send properly.
Juliaoceania wrote;
Disclaimer before reading this thread, it is not the intent of this opening post to debate whether a dominant and their sub are equals within the context of their relationship... it is a more broad question for the board.
I have often wondered whether or not dominants that post here view all submissives as unequal to them, not just the ones they own, but everyone that self identifies as a submissive. I have also wondered whether or not submissives view everyone that identifies as a dominant as someone who is their superior in some way, someone that deserves deferential treatment because they identify as a dominant. Do you consider whether or not someone is a sub or a dom when reading advice they post for example?
I can only speak for myself however, I treat everybody the same regardless of title or status. You are an individual first, role secondly. Respect goes both ways in my mind's eye. And, words of wisdom comes from every level of education, class and or experiences and or profession. What is said and the 'tone' of the message is what I value, as to establish the 'intent' of the posted advice as to create the affect/effects on my sense of logic.
As a dominant, I listen very carefully to what my slaves and or submissives tell me. And, they do the same. Otherwise, we both cheat ourselves out of good communications and a healthy respect we have for each other. I also have the same feeling to those in the community. I really do care about people-Dominant and submissive; close or far. I feel honored when slaves, submissives and or my peers return the courtesy and respect as much as I feel good in giving respect.
Basically I am curious as to whether or not you view inequalities in your interactions with others on CM? Personally I haven't seen much of that, but I have seen it crop up occasionally and I wonder how others feel about this or if it is in my mind and doesn't exist at all.
I do occassionally see inequalities in some interactions with others on CM. I think any new person coming into a forum is judged immediately and established dominants and or submissives,take it upon themselves to be the ones to sit in judgment and many just follow. In my mind's eye, I believe the first post anybody makes will set the tone and treatment by others in the future. Being a polite person, I always hope to start any posts accordingly. Unfortunately, some souls come on and off the mark per se, step on the wrong foot due to how they express themselves rather than the contents of the post. Words are very powerful and people judge you by the words you use. Especially when the written word is the only means of expression. History shows this as well as modern forums such as this. The next tier in judgment is the person's consistancy.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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