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This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 8:15:03 PM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		Anyone that is far nicer than me want to tell this collection of resistors, capacitors and transistors precisely what I will do to a recalcitrant computer?

Right now I am thinking about armor-piercing bullets.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 8:30:22 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline 		I've threatened mine with dangling out of a two story window and dropping it for the sheer pleasure of watching it go splat. It behaved a little better after that. *nods nods nods*


(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 8:34:15 PM   
EventideFortuna


Posts: 31
Joined: 10/8/2013
Status: offline 		it would help if you told people what it was or was not doing

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 8:36:08 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		Have you thought of holding an open can of Diet Coke over the keyboard and saying "try that one more time" as you tip it closer and closer???

Sorry you are alone with the computer tonite :-(

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 9:01:37 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		With my new computer I've threatened to take it back for a better model. It better shape up or ship out!

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 9:44:19 PM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		Littlewonder: You are threatening to take it back to the shop.

I'm threatening to shoot it in the motherboard.

Actually, TieMeInKnotts needs to learn how to shoot a rifle. Right now I'm thinking of a really good target.

And I have a brand new rifle with armor peircing bulltets. This computer will behave or it will find a very short trip to the range.

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 9:59:59 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Anyone that is far nicer than me want to tell this collection of resistors, capacitors and transistors precisely what I will do to a recalcitrant computer?

Right now I am thinking about armor-piercing bullets.

come on dude.. its not the computer itself, its the software screwing up.. or.. maybe its just the.. operator????

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 10:02:44 PM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		Actually it's bad capacitors.

Knowing that doesn't make me any happier.

And I still need an excuse to go to the range.

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 10:26:05 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Actually it's bad capacitors.

Knowing that doesn't make me any happier.

And I still need an excuse to go to the range.

sure, sure.. uh huh.. blame it on innocent capacitors..

at least you are a computer dude and can figure out what the problem is.. us poor non-techie types have it a lot worse!

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/3/2014 10:27:56 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Littlewonder: You are threatening to take it back to the shop.



But it's new yet! If I threaten it by telling it I'm taking it back, I keep hoping I'll be intimidating enough to motivate it to get with the program!

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 6:15:49 AM   
HipPoindexter


Posts: 188
Joined: 12/20/2013
Status: offline 		try disconnecting and reconnecting the tape recorder drive. if that doesn't work, you may have to spend the money to upgrade to a computer with a floppy disc drive (i'm holding off for as long as i can!)

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TheActionMan has joined the server

still ain't nothin' move but the money

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 7:54:30 AM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		A bad capacitor??? Like a FLUX capacitor?? In "Back to the Future", they just hooked it up to a lightening bolt and WHAM it worked! Have you tried that???

MYM (miss you much)

(in reply to HipPoindexter)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 10:07:09 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		OBVIOUSLY - if you were really dominant, the computer would do what you wanted it to - and be happy to do it!


(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 10:12:42 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Littlewonder: You are threatening to take it back to the shop.



But it's new yet! If I threaten it by telling it I'm taking it back, I keep hoping I'll be intimidating enough to motivate it to get with the program!

Didn't I order you to return that POS a week ago?


Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 10:20:56 AM   
MisterP61


Posts: 1345
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		For Me I always just unplug all the little do-dads, mash the power thingy, and curse rather vehemently at it. It's all technical and stuff, so it might be hard to understand these things hehe

_____________________________

Proudly married to the "Diva of Destruction" LadyPact
Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore - Of Monsters and Men
What is the maximum effective range of an excuse? Zero meters!

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 12:00:43 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		First have you sacrificed a awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18 to the computer gods?

Second, if you have, are you sure it was to the correct computer god?

Third, if it is a capacitor, why have you not changed it?


_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to MisterP61)
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RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 1:27:13 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

First have you sacrificed a awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18 to the computer gods?


Fuck that noise. If I have a "awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18," I'm gonna keep that cunt for myself, spend the next 30 yrs or so ravishing her.
I'll be so busy doing that, it'll be like,"Whats a computer?"

My man, I like you and all, but maybe,just maybe, you might wanna seriously re-examine your priorities.

That is,unless you have a harem of such mythical creatures.
In that case, what can I say but "Carry on, Fine Sir, carry on..."

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 1:27:44 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		I suggest telling it to do something else.

(in reply to MalcolmNathaniel)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 1:29:37 PM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		Ask yourself this: what does it mean to sacrifice a virgin?

Yes, there is blood involved, but if blood comes from her neck YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. - 1/4/2014 1:47:09 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

First have you sacrificed a awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18 to the computer gods?


Fuck that noise. If I have a "awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18," I'm gonna keep that cunt for myself, spend the next 30 yrs or so ravishing her.
I'll be so busy doing that, it'll be like,"Whats a computer?"

My man, I like you and all, but maybe,just maybe, you might wanna seriously re-examine your priorities.

That is,unless you have a harem of such mythical creatures.
In that case, what can I say but "Carry on, Fine Sir, carry on..."


Clones

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 20
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