This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (Full Version)

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MalcolmNathaniel -> This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 8:15:03 PM)

Anyone that is far nicer than me want to tell this collection of resistors, capacitors and transistors precisely what I will do to a recalcitrant computer?

Right now I am thinking about armor-piercing bullets.



CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 8:30:22 PM)

I've threatened mine with dangling out of a two story window and dropping it for the sheer pleasure of watching it go splat. It behaved a little better after that. *nods nods nods*

[sm=pc.gif][sm=oops.gif]



EventideFortuna -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 8:34:15 PM)

it would help if you told people what it was or was not doing



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 8:36:08 PM)

Have you thought of holding an open can of Diet Coke over the keyboard and saying "try that one more time" as you tip it closer and closer???

Sorry you are alone with the computer tonite :-(



littlewonder -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 9:01:37 PM)

With my new computer I've threatened to take it back for a better model. It better shape up or ship out! [:D]



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 9:44:19 PM)

Littlewonder: You are threatening to take it back to the shop.

I'm threatening to shoot it in the motherboard.

Actually, TieMeInKnotts needs to learn how to shoot a rifle. Right now I'm thinking of a really good target.

And I have a brand new rifle with armor peircing bulltets. This computer will behave or it will find a very short trip to the range.



tj444 -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 9:59:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Anyone that is far nicer than me want to tell this collection of resistors, capacitors and transistors precisely what I will do to a recalcitrant computer?

Right now I am thinking about armor-piercing bullets.

come on dude.. its not the computer itself, its the software screwing up.. or.. maybe its just the.. operator???? [sm=stickineye.gif]



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 10:02:44 PM)

Actually it's bad capacitors.

Knowing that doesn't make me any happier.

And I still need an excuse to go to the range.



tj444 -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 10:26:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Actually it's bad capacitors.

Knowing that doesn't make me any happier.

And I still need an excuse to go to the range.

sure, sure.. uh huh.. blame it on innocent capacitors.. [:D]

at least you are a computer dude and can figure out what the problem is.. us poor non-techie types have it a lot worse! [;)]



littlewonder -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/3/2014 10:27:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Littlewonder: You are threatening to take it back to the shop.



But it's new yet! If I threaten it by telling it I'm taking it back, I keep hoping I'll be intimidating enough to motivate it to get with the program! [8D]



HipPoindexter -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 6:15:49 AM)

try disconnecting and reconnecting the tape recorder drive. if that doesn't work, you may have to spend the money to upgrade to a computer with a floppy disc drive (i'm holding off for as long as i can!)



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 7:54:30 AM)

A bad capacitor??? Like a FLUX capacitor?? In "Back to the Future", they just hooked it up to a lightening bolt and WHAM it worked! Have you tried that???

MYM (miss you much)



kiwisub12 -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 10:07:09 AM)

OBVIOUSLY - if you were really dominant, the computer would do what you wanted it to - and be happy to do it! [:D]




Kana -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 10:12:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

Littlewonder: You are threatening to take it back to the shop.



But it's new yet! If I threaten it by telling it I'm taking it back, I keep hoping I'll be intimidating enough to motivate it to get with the program! [8D]

Didn't I order you to return that POS a week ago?


Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....



MisterP61 -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 10:20:56 AM)

For Me I always just unplug all the little do-dads, mash the power thingy, and curse rather vehemently at it. It's all technical and stuff, so it might be hard to understand these things hehe



jlf1961 -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 12:00:43 PM)

First have you sacrificed a awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18 to the computer gods?

Second, if you have, are you sure it was to the correct computer god?

Third, if it is a capacitor, why have you not changed it?



Kana -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 1:27:13 PM)

quote:

First have you sacrificed a awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18 to the computer gods?


Fuck that noise. If I have a "awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18," I'm gonna keep that cunt for myself, spend the next 30 yrs or so ravishing her.
I'll be so busy doing that, it'll be like,"Whats a computer?"

My man, I like you and all, but maybe,just maybe, you might wanna seriously re-examine your priorities.

That is,unless you have a harem of such mythical creatures.
In that case, what can I say but "Carry on, Fine Sir, carry on..."



LookieNoNookie -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 1:27:44 PM)

I suggest telling it to do something else.



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 1:29:37 PM)

Ask yourself this: what does it mean to sacrifice a virgin?

Yes, there is blood involved, but if blood comes from her neck YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!



jlf1961 -> RE: This computer isn't doing what I tell it to. (1/4/2014 1:47:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

First have you sacrificed a awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18 to the computer gods?


Fuck that noise. If I have a "awesomely beautiful virgin who is over the age of 18," I'm gonna keep that cunt for myself, spend the next 30 yrs or so ravishing her.
I'll be so busy doing that, it'll be like,"Whats a computer?"

My man, I like you and all, but maybe,just maybe, you might wanna seriously re-examine your priorities.

That is,unless you have a harem of such mythical creatures.
In that case, what can I say but "Carry on, Fine Sir, carry on..."


Clones



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