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Kara -> single searching (6/25/2006 1:19:55 AM)
Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive. Feel free to feedback thanks kara

becca333 -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 1:22:26 AM)
Frog-kissing. Lots of frog-kissing. But eventually you get a prince, or at the very least a frog who's a great kisser.

Wulfchyld -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 1:26:46 AM)
[img]http://mothernature1966.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/kissingfrog.jpg[/img]

becca333 -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 1:28:48 AM)
Loki, you're a sweetie!

MissDiandSirHugh -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 2:51:50 AM)
We understand that often it gets very frustrating Kara even to the point of feeling best to shut the gate and move to another paddock but although some find what they are looking for very fast and easily no matter Dom,Sub or Slave many others keep plodding on and learn that patience is such a great companion to have with them. But just never give up and besides keeping an eye open for what is needed look around and learn what they can no matter what they feel is already known to them.

IronBear -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 3:59:24 AM)
Frustration isn't the word I'd be using.. Bloody manic frustration may be close.. However, for every sub/slave and every Dominant of any ilk there is a person for you.... Look I went through a stage when I considered in altering the standards I set by being Gorean and thought about finding subs too.. In the end I compromised in as far as I'll happily hook up with one or more subs as play partners for BDSM polay and my training there. I will still hold to my original in that they only people collared to HIB will be slaves (experienced or inexperienced) who understand and can accept that we are a Gorean Home..... One of the problems which some folk face like I do is cliques in the local BDSM Groups who have decided that they will try to drive you out without even meeting you because of one thing or another. For me it was me identifying as Gorean for another friend it was because he has an impeccable reputation from where he came from as a Good Dom and an aclaimed record in a number of BSM areas. The local plebs were afraid that he would become the new leader of the scene..... Like me he has told then to piss off and will not have a thing to do with them.. Advise: Stay away from politics and being drawn ito personality clashes. Fly well under the radar and a good person will notice you. It just takes longer. From a Gorean Master's perspective: "Better an empty collar than collaring the wrong person or the right person for the wrong reason!"

CrappyDom -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 6:12:28 AM)
But just think how good it will feel when the day comes when he lifts up your chin to look deep into your eyes and you both know he owns you...its worth the wait for the right one.

feastie -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 6:17:00 AM)
Stop looking and stop worrying about it. It'll come when it comes.

LadyMorgynn -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 7:31:39 AM)
It is VERY frustrating. But you just deal with it, just as you deal with having to wait for anything in life. Just spend your time wisely while you wait. And don't rush into anything... sometimes the high level of frustration achieved makes you GO FOR IT when someone who appears to be what you are looking for comes along, and you don't take the time needed to inquire more closely. And then you may have an Oopsies. Be Aware, though, that the frustration of waiting and waiting may itself cause you to be less careful, and watch out for that :) Go to munches and local play parties, make friends in the scene: male, female, Dom/me, sub... get to know people, learn from their experience, or just experience the close friendships available that are so often NOT easily found in the vanilla world :)

IronBear -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 7:40:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kara Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive. Feel free to feedback thanks kara Hands Kara a collar length of chain and a club... "There you go. Now you are equioped to locate the Doninant of your chioce, hit them soundly on the noggin, either collar yourself and chain yourself to them before they wake up or collar them and chain them to your Dunny (not supplied for transport reasons)..... See easy wasn't it??????"[;)]

cuddleheart50 -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 7:42:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom But just think how good it will feel when the day comes when he lifts up your chin to look deep into your eyes and you both know he owns you...its worth the wait for the right one. What he said!

Master96 -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 7:47:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie Stop looking and stop worrying about it. It'll come when it comes. I agree :) quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 But eventually you get a prince, or at the very least a frog who's a great kisser. lol Master96,

Mercnbeth -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 8:09:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kara Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive. "Physical and emotional frustration should only come from work. If you see your search as work you are going about it wrong. It's may be a difficult mindset, but the process should be fun! Safety first, but second to that during the search process the priority should be on fun. Meet in places you never have been or places you want to see again. Enjoy the company of yourself, so if he/she doesn't show you still enjoy the day. There is one frustration that can't be addressed. It's pragmatic - opportunity. I could be wrong, but Hawkes Bay, New Zealand isn't NYC, LA, or any major BDSM 'mecca'. Addressing this frustration is pragmatic too - you have to appreciate it and accept it. Most of the time you can't do anything about it. Relocation shouldn't be the first decision you make regarding a contemplated relationship. Good Luck!

hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 8:46:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: becca333 Frog-kissing. Lots of frog-kissing. But eventually you get a prince, or at the very least a frog who's a great kisser. Just be choosy about which frogs you kiss. Warts seem to be a really big turn off with the better examples of the dominant set, after all.... (personally, I keep a supply of wart remover hidden in a drawer, in case I run across one of the truely Hideous frogs... [;)] )

iliv2servher -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 8:50:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kara Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive. Feel free to feedback thanks kara Kara, I can only assume that your question is rhetorical, because no one can tell you when or even whether or not you're going to find what you are looking for. And if you expect to find the perfect person or situation, you might just as well take your entire life savings to a casino, put it all on the table, and roll the dice. Life is a gamble...relationships are a gamble. You take chances, you win, you loose, you learn. Missed opportunities happen. But everything happens for a reason. You can't put your life on hold while you are waiting for either the prince or the frog that is a good kisser. Take steps to improve yourself. Go to school. Aspire for better employment. Become involved in local groups. Try to learn as much as you can, because if you are satisfied with being in a holding pattern throughout your life, then life will eventually pass you by. What you are seeking may be right around the corner from you, or it may never appear. No promises...no guarantees. Just try to appreciate and enjoy the ride. I wish you good luck and good fortune.

Noah -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 9:05:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kara Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive. Feel free to feedback thanks kara I'd refer you to the post from veryfewcan on this page: http://www.collarchat.com/m_437849/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#437975 ... and add only that as hard as it may be, submitting yourself as gracefully as possible to the inescapable vagaries of fate may be in the worst case all you can do--or in the best case wonderful practice for eventually submitting to someone worth waiting for.

krikket -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 9:17:47 AM)
Very, Very carefully... becca and IB summing it up very nicely...as always.. cute pic Loki..thanks for the smile :) quote: ORIGINAL: Kara Single still searching sub wonders how others deal with the physical and emotional frustration of finding a Dom Domme or of course the reverse if you are a Dom Domme searching for a submissive. Feel free to feedback thanks kara

LokisBrat -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 9:28:04 AM)
Patience should not equate desperation. Be careful in picking a partner, make sure there is at least some comman ground. Let's go with the old saying "haste makes waste" LOKI

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 9:41:20 AM)
Dealing with the frustration is tedious and difficult .. every once in awhile you will become frustrated and maybe drop your guard ... DON'T do it. as others have said your gonna meet alot of wrongs before you find Master Right. take your time ... find people you trust and friendships you can count on. If it's urges your having trouble with .. find someone you completely trust who can help you with those urges. Other then that all I can say in searching is make sure to ask alot of questions ... and make sure every thing is so right it hurts before you decide you need to meet. If your thoughts when your sleeping are of him . if a burning question of what would it be like is there ... make your moves! as for me .. I get frustrated alot lately ... I am finding ones who meet this need . but lack on that need, or say the right things . but the second I ask to see what the chemistry is like they bail. so I don't search anymore .. I wait for ones who truely want to be with me to come along ... I tend to make them go the extra mile now to get my affections ..... maybe thats wrong .. but it's how I choose to do it.

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: single searching (6/25/2006 9:45:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld [image]http://mothernature1966.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/kissingfrog.jpg[/image] ...Loki....I thought you promised not to show the picture of the kiss we shared last night!!!...Bad froggie!....[:'(]..Tempting..(grin)

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