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LadyPact -> RE: Vanilla Sex vs The Other Side Sex (8/24/2012 1:37:11 PM)
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Vanilla sex to Me is sex that involves two people where there are no elements of bondage, discipline, sadism, or masochism or authority dynamic in place. (I don't bastardize the BDSM term to include Dominance and submission.) Oral and anal I still put under the vanilla label. That silly thing about ejaculating elsewhere is also vanilla because, let's face it, teenagers have been trying to use that as a method to reduce the chance of pregnancy. People use it in porn to get the money shot. That doesn't mean pulling out makes it kinky.
On the other hand, sex that involves any element of BDSM, no matter how light, I consider kinky. Yeah, here on these boards, the fluffy handcuffs or that light spanking session as foreplay may seem like a joke when talking to people who play with single tails and shibari, but even the lightest stuff counts. I also consider sex between three or more people to be kinky, though it doesn't have a damn thing to do with humiliation in My book. Then again, I've never found any form of being in charge or controlling My own sexuality to be humiliating.
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