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MissImmortalPain -> RE: Are some secrets, lies, and acts of disobedience forgivable? (1/2/2012 8:10:09 PM)
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Okay, see, this cleared lots up for me at least from your point of view, which I was missing. When I read the op I started with the title. "Are some secrets, lies, and acts of disobedience forgivable" My answer started with...depends on the person. It also depends on the action. I'm pretty sure we can all think of things that if we heard them as lies would be deal breaks, but really every little lie in the world? If I tossed people out of my life for every lie they ever told I would have to stop speak to , well, everyone. It wouldn't matter what the lie was about because at some point or another every person has lied (congrats to those that learned as a kid not to do it, but you most likely learned it because you got caught at it and didn't like what happened to you) To say nothing of the fact that as I and others pointed out if someone lies about doing something and you didn't catch them at then you don't know they lied so how are you doing to fogive them(or not) for something you don't know about. Really I get that if someone was with someone that did ALL of these things why they might walk away. Even some of these things, most of these things, etc. But really add a question to the list....My sub breaks a coffee cup. I don't notice for a long time(I don't like coffee and have lots of cups) I finally do notice and ask, "hey did you break a coffee cup" He says "nope" Do I toss him out for....something he won't admit to, even if he had a dad that beat him until he couldn't walk for breaking dishes when he was a kid? Do I toss him out over something that wasn't even important enough for me to notice? Do I toss him out for something he might have forgotten he did(I have kids they break things all the time) ? Maybe I did it wrong when I answered but my mind didn't go straight to is the sub is a serial killer. It went to do people make mistakes, are there sometimes real reasons for mistakes, can mistakes be forgiven. My answers were ...yes, yes, and sometimes yes. I think my mind went there because the op said this "I should say right now by forgivable I mean if you found out it just mean a punishment or severe lecture would be in the subs future and not the relationship itself ending" It doesn't sound to me like the op is asked what anyone would do if they found out their sub was a serial killer either. Thank you for explaining your point of view it gave me something to think about.
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