quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Even outside of any relationship realm, D/s or otherwise, I have always found it rude for people
to just drop by. I am a very warm and inviting person, (really, I am!) and I enjoying having
guests in my home, but I like to be prepared for their arrival, like making sure I have beverages and food
they would enjoy, and the time necessary to focus on them. So, please don't come unannounced.

Even when my sons were living at home, they knew it was best to let me know they were having company over too!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

These are people met in person and trusted enough to come to my home, but are on the newer side of things and some I haven‘t met yet and are calling expecting to meet because they are close by. This has happened enough times that I wondered how others thought about this and how they handled it if they are not in a committed relationship and are seeing more than one person. In all the years, this hasn’t been much of a problem and yet it has started to occur more often. I don’t agree, but someone said I was pretty off base on this, wasn‘t being nice, etc and he hadn‘t been in this position, just was around to see someone else in it.

I am now going to explain this to people before coming to my home and as a condition of coming to my home. lol

So what do you think? How would you handle these things? Would you see someone dropping in or expecting a visit in a particular way?[/size]

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

There was a day, long ago, when there were no cell phones attached to most people and I did allow for surprise visits from people I knew. If I were dating multiple people, those I dated knew this and if they showed up when someone else was there, they came second and made small talk and left, even if I actually liked them best. They learned for their own sake that it was best to call before showing up, but I didn’t hold anything against them for showing up. Times have changed and so have I.

Now it is best to call me unless you are a neighbor or a friend and only a friend. Anyone that wants to play with me, be with me or have a relationship better not just show up. I have a few reasons for this. I may be busy with someone else (I don‘t hide the fact I am seeing multiple people), I may be busy period, we are still not sure where we may be going and also, for some reason I may think you are trying to see what I’m up to from a jealousy or control base, etc. A man interested in me as a woman/dominant came to my door unannounced. I opened the door, stated that I was busy and he hadn’t called or been invited and that I don’t work that way. I let him know that he would have to go and that he wasn’t to dictate when, how and where we got together and closed the door to his rebuttal when I knew it was nothing but. (I didn’t want the flowers and didn’t see them as a good surprise or door opener.) I saw what he did as a way to make sure of his place expecting me to be nice and let him in because it was a friendly visit, but it wasn’t. (There were other indicators that lead me to believe this.) I hadn’t given him the time he wanted and he was trying to push it upon me. Let’s just say, because I did believe he was trying to control things he had no right to control, he wasn’t seen again or considered for anything including friendship.

So next comes the man (not a specific man and more than one man) that lives far enough away that if he somehow found himself in my area, he might like to drop by. He calls, expecting to see me. Expecting is the key word here. As a dominant they are interested in, I don’t see this as appropriate for my possible prospective partners.  No one should expect me to do anything spur of the moment until they have a right to expect something and that means, they would actually be allowed to drop in at any time. If I am not busy, up to it or want to meet, all is good, but if not, they won’t see me and if they expect me to drop everything, it won’t happen. I may like to see them or want to, but it may not be an okay time for me and all is well if they don‘t expect it by way of being upset if it doesn‘t happen. (Disappointed is fine, upset or angry isn’t.)

These are people met in person and trusted enough to come to my home, but are on the newer side of things and some I haven‘t met yet and are calling expecting to meet because they are close by. This has happened enough times that I wondered how others thought about this and how they handled it if they are not in a committed relationship and are seeing more than one person. In all the years, this hasn’t been much of a problem and yet it has started to occur more often. I don’t agree, but someone said I was pretty off base on this, wasn‘t being nice, etc and he hadn‘t been in this position, just was around to see someone else in it.

I am now going to explain this to people before coming to my home and as a condition of coming to my home. lol

So what do you think? How would you handle these things? Would you see someone dropping in or expecting a visit in a particular way?

quote:

indicators that lead me to believe this.) I hadn’t given him the time he wanted and he was trying to push it upon me. Let’s just say, because I did believe he