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MOTHERS! - 7/29/2011 6:12:08 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

No this isn't a complaint about Mothers. Actually it's to show the love.

I call my mother usually once a week to say hello and see how she's doing. Sometimes I call a few times a week, it really depends on what's going on and if I need to get some stuff off of my chest or there's stuff going on with her. She's always there to give advice (even if it's obvious and/or naive at times). I never really call just for "advice". Mostly it's because I miss her voice or I'm worried about her.

What a really wonderful woman she is. Sweet as can be. Always there for me when I need an ear. She was one of the women in my life that has taught me just how great some women can be.

I have no problem showing my affections and feelings nor do I think I could hide them for any woman and I surely wouldn't want to. As a matter of fact, I make it a point to tell the women in my life that I love them every single time we talk. I won't hang up without saying it. You never know when that might be the last time you get to. I know that may be a depressing thought for some of you but I look at it as a real motivation to let those I love know what I think. Not to mention, it's just a fact of life.

What is it about your mother that you appreciate? When's the last time you told her how much you do appreciate her?

< Message edited by Icarys -- 7/29/2011 6:14:04 PM >

_____________________________

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Post #: 1

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 12:30:18 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

My family does not verbalize praise. I haven't said "I love you" in at least two decades.

T^T

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 2

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 12:43:06 AM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
What is it about your mother that you appreciate?

She made many, many sacrifices for her family.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
When's the last time you told her how much you do appreciate her?

It's been a long time.

pam

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 3

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 1:07:11 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

FR

When I was five I wrote in my schoolbook that 'I love my mum because she puts raisins in [my favourite Iraqi dish].'

She still puts raisins in it if I'm going to be eating.

She's lovely, my mum. We get on really, really well, and she gives the best hugs. And I tell her I love her pretty frequently, but that's cuz we're Iraqi so we remember to say this stuff out loud. Refugee mentality, innit.

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Post #: 4

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 2:24:13 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

At the moment my mum is caring for my very sick dad. It's heart-breakingly difficult to see a vital, vibrant man turn into a tired, confused old man so quickly.

but she never complains. I moved back to the North East of England 6 years ago to help with my dad, and I now live a 5 minute drive from their house. I call daily and visit most days to give mum the chance to talk to another adult, or to get out and have some time to herself.

And yet she remains strong. I rarely see her cry, and she's always there with a shoulder when I need to cry. Watching her deal with my dad's increasing indignity with her increasing dignity is actually breathtaking. If I get to be even half the woman she is, then I will be content.

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There's nowt so queer as folk

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Post #: 5

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 5:00:16 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

my mom is my best friend.. it took many long, painful teenaged years to appreciate what an amazing, awesome woman she is..

someday, I hope to be half the woman she is.

I talk to her almost everyday...

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 6

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 5:08:57 AM

erieangel

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline

My mom was a best friend. She was the one person I could always turn to in times of trouble. We talked and visited as often as my work schedule and her health would allow. Sadly, I lost mom last Sept. to pancreatic cancer.

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Post #: 7

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 5:26:00 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

*hugs erie* I cant imagine how rough that was for you.. I'm sorry for your loss..

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to erieangel)

Post #: 8

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 5:41:47 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

My relationship with my mother was complicated. Not because she was a bad mother, in many ways she was a good one but she was quite mentally ill when I was small and drank alcoholically when I was a bit older.
She was a creative problem solver, and had a great sense of humor.
She had a lovely singing voice.

She was there for me when I needed her to be and I tried to likewise be there for her.

I was working with a therapist and one of my goals was to have a better relationship with her.
That did not happen.
I miss her.

Nov 8, 2005
Came home fr work and caught the end of The Joy Luck Club ( haven't read the book)

I am reminded of the spiderweb connections between mothers and daughters:
sticky and complex
fragile yet strong
filled with hopes and dreams caught
in-between the threads.

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Post #: 9

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 5:47:55 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
What is it about your mother that you appreciate? When's the last time you told her how much you do appreciate her?

What I appreciate most is her calm, kind and forgiving nature. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen my Mom what I would call "angry" and, even then, she handled it pretty well. She's quick to listen and slow to judge harshly and doesn't hold a grudge. I always knew that...no matter what....she loved/loves me and I can turn to her for support. Now that's not saying she won't tell you what you need to hear when you need to straighten out

I tell her I love her everytime I speak with her which, between phone calls and facebook, is several times a week. She just turned 67 and my Dad passed away over 8 years ago. She is OK financially but can always use a boost. We send her a nice amount each month and do extra things for her like we just bought her a new computer when we visited her in May. So, I tell her I love her and I show her I appreciate her by helping out all we can.

I love my Mom! And...the best thing she did for me growing up? Passed on her love of reading to this now-librarian

luci

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(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 10

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 6:13:32 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

What is it about your mother that you appreciate? When's the last time you told her how much you do appreciate her?

I've set my mum up with Skype, so she can ping me and chat in text or call me whenever she wants to. We probably talk twice a week, for quite some time each time - more since Skype (coz it's free!) - sometimes an hour or more.

I appreciate the extremely sound job my mum did of parenting myself and my family, and her boundless compassion, which never seems to flag or wane, and her great sense of humour, and her slightly daft ways (at times). I like the way she never judges me, even when I think I've failed, and how she always thinks the best of me, even in those times (fortunately not too often these days) when I don't think the best of myself.

I like the way she doesn't always counsel the "sensible" route (I once bought a sports car, mostly because I'd been umming and ahhhing over it for a while, and when she asked why I didn't just buy it, and I said I should be saving my money, she replied "everyone should own a convertible at least once in their lives. You work hard, you don't do drugs or gamble, so why not? Don't you deserve some fun too?"), and the way she goes from quietly demure to raging vixen if ever her kids or family are threatened, but always in a ladylike way.

I like the way she keeps the peace in the family, on those rare occasions when various members fall out with one another, and yet will quietly but firmly tell any of us (in private), including myself, when we're being dipsticks, and the way she never thinks she's better than anyone else, even though, truth be told, she often is.

I like her quiet wisdom, and her loud laughter, and her ability to frequently combine the two. I like the way she was so strong, to raise her family so well on very little money, yet never became bitter, or moaned over the sacrifices she made (and she made quite a few) ... one of the nice things about having some money now is being able to treat her to things she wants or needs, although I have to do my research in private, because she almost never voices a wish for material things, and if one of her kids buys her anything, no matter how small, she thinks it’s the most amazing gift anyone’s ever received*.

I don’t get the chance to visit that often, due to distance and having a very busy work life ... maybe half a dozen times a year ... but when I do it’s like the return of the prodigal son, and yet never smothering or clingy or too much. There isn't a visit that ends without us hugging for a good long while, or a phone or Skype call that ends without us telling each other we love each other, and it isn't mere words; she really is one of the best people I've ever met, although she's genuinely shocked if ever I tell her that. I think she thinks one needs to have done "great things" in order to be a great person, but I would disagree.

She's in her 70s now, and I honestly do not know how I'm going to cope when the inevitable does happen. A part of me would be quite happy to die before she does, but that would be selfish because it would merely upset her beyond measure, so when that day comes (assuming I do outlast her) I will honour her memory and keep my memories of her close to my heart.

In short, she's just wonderful really. Don’t know how else to put it. And the more people I meet and speak to in life, the more lucky I feel; so many of my friends have/had parents who were pretty awful to them, or uncaring, or just plain disinterested or had no point of contact. I’m a very, very lucky man.

Does that all sound a bit gushing? Maybe. Bit Mummy’s Boy? Maybe, though I'm not. I don’t care though – I'm more than happy to recognise and appreciate my mother for the extraordinary human being she is.

*I bought her a nice headset to use with Skype ... cost me maybe thirty pounds – hardly a King’s ransom. All I got for the month after was “how clear this headset is and how movies sound better when using it and isn't it just the most wonderful thing ever and I had no idea technology had moved on so much and isn't it amazing that it's so small and light and discrete and yet the sound's perfect and” ...

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 11

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 7:03:06 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

she sounds awesome, RF :) Not Mummy's boy at all.. just a grown man who appreciates a true gem :)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 12

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 7:46:30 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

that she's given me the opportunity to make sure I did not raise my daughter in the same manner in which she raised me.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Post #: 13

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 7:52:28 AM

lazarus1983

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline

My mother is the worst form of parasite, the kind that derives a sense of virtue from it. Her highest goal in life is to be a victim.

My grandmother, on the other hand, is the best of the best, and I have nothing but love for her.

_____________________________

The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities.

- Ayn Rand

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 14

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 7:59:14 AM

impishlilhellcat

Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

My relationship with my mother was complicated. Not because she was a bad mother, in many ways she was a good one but she was quite mentally ill when I was small and drank alcoholically when I was a bit older.
She was a creative problem solver, and had a great sense of humor.
She had a lovely singing voice.

She was there for me when I needed her to be and I tried to likewise be there for her.

Nov 8, 2005
Came home fr work and caught the end of The Joy Luck Club ( haven't read the book)

I am reminded of the spiderweb connections between mothers and daughters:
sticky and complex
fragile yet strong
filled with hopes and dreams caught
in-between the threads.

This is pretty much the same for me.

Our relationship is complicated. She made many sacrifices for me and I in return help her out now. I love her, but our relationship is much better the farther apart we are. We will talk daily and she and I will make trips to see one another. In the end the relationship is so much better for the distance.

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 15

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 8:00:48 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Watching her deal with my dad's increasing indignity with her increasing dignity is actually breathtaking.

I felt this same way when my dad was dying and I witnessed my mother's care for him. It was pretty damn amazing.

My mom and I always had a strained relationship but when my dad got sick and I was going through my awful divorce, we both played huge parts in helping the other out. An amazing friendship was created and we have become so very close. We are open and honest with each other, we give each other advice, we go on vacations together, and we have a great relationship. I call her every other day, take her to her doctor appointments, work with her to manage her money, and probably see her once or twice a month (which she says is not nearly enough).

Today is her anniversary to my Dad, and I know she'll be sad, so I'll be calling her this morning. My mom is awesome, and I love her very much.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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Post #: 16

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 8:00:48 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

At the moment my mum is caring for my very sick dad. It's heart-breakingly difficult to see a vital, vibrant man turn into a tired, confused old man so quickly.

I guess our moms are in the same boat. That's partly why I posted what I did. The pain she must be going through, having her husband/friend of 30 plus years, slowly wither.

I never really got along with the guy but he cherished my mother and I love him for that.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 17

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 8:03:54 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I hate that even with moving to the same state, I am still about 4 hours away from my Mom.. and with my POS car, me driving up to see her (which I would GLADLY do on my days off) just isnt feasible...

*sad*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 18

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 8:06:57 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I hate that even with moving to the same state, I am still about 4 hours away from my Mom.. and with my POS car, me driving up to see her (which I would GLADLY do on my days off) just isnt feasible...

*sad*

Take a bus..bribe a friend..cheer up!

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 19

RE: MOTHERS! - 7/30/2011 8:28:38 AM

Tantriqu

Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Every few years, I take my mother on a 'big' trip somewhere special, just us girls: two years ago it was Scotland, this year is Banff. The first time I did so was a bus-trip in Europe in my 20's, because she'd never been overseas even though her parents were from there. I thought I'd be pitied as a sadsack without a partner: instead to my surprise everyone was openly envious, wishing they could take their mother on such a trip, and told her so, which reminded me how lucky I was to be able to do so. And I met a lovely sub as a result!
And now 20 years later, she's far slower, but she's still able, so we're still lucky, and I still know it.

_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

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Post #: 20

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