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RapierFugue -> RE: MOTHERS! (7/30/2011 6:13:32 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Icarys
What is it about your mother that you appreciate? When's the last time you told her how much you do appreciate her?
I've set my mum up with Skype, so she can ping me and chat in text or call me whenever she wants to. We probably talk twice a week, for quite some time each time - more since Skype (coz it's free!) - sometimes an hour or more.
I appreciate the extremely sound job my mum did of parenting myself and my family, and her boundless compassion, which never seems to flag or wane, and her great sense of humour, and her slightly daft ways (at times). I like the way she never judges me, even when I think I've failed, and how she always thinks the best of me, even in those times (fortunately not too often these days) when I don't think the best of myself.
I like the way she doesn't always counsel the "sensible" route (I once bought a sports car, mostly because I'd been umming and ahhhing over it for a while, and when she asked why I didn't just buy it, and I said I should be saving my money, she replied "everyone should own a convertible at least once in their lives. You work hard, you don't do drugs or gamble, so why not? Don't you deserve some fun too?"), and the way she goes from quietly demure to raging vixen if ever her kids or family are threatened, but always in a ladylike way.
I like the way she keeps the peace in the family, on those rare occasions when various members fall out with one another, and yet will quietly but firmly tell any of us (in private), including myself, when we're being dipsticks, and the way she never thinks she's better than anyone else, even though, truth be told, she often is.
I like her quiet wisdom, and her loud laughter, and her ability to frequently combine the two. I like the way she was so strong, to raise her family so well on very little money, yet never became bitter, or moaned over the sacrifices she made (and she made quite a few) ... one of the nice things about having some money now is being able to treat her to things she wants or needs, although I have to do my research in private, because she almost never voices a wish for material things, and if one of her kids buys her anything, no matter how small, she thinks it’s the most amazing gift anyone’s ever received*.
I don’t get the chance to visit that often, due to distance and having a very busy work life ... maybe half a dozen times a year ... but when I do it’s like the return of the prodigal son, and yet never smothering or clingy or too much. There isn't a visit that ends without us hugging for a good long while, or a phone or Skype call that ends without us telling each other we love each other, and it isn't mere words; she really is one of the best people I've ever met, although she's genuinely shocked if ever I tell her that. I think she thinks one needs to have done "great things" in order to be a great person, but I would disagree.
She's in her 70s now, and I honestly do not know how I'm going to cope when the inevitable does happen. A part of me would be quite happy to die before she does, but that would be selfish because it would merely upset her beyond measure, so when that day comes (assuming I do outlast her) I will honour her memory and keep my memories of her close to my heart.
In short, she's just wonderful really. Don’t know how else to put it. And the more people I meet and speak to in life, the more lucky I feel; so many of my friends have/had parents who were pretty awful to them, or uncaring, or just plain disinterested or had no point of contact. I’m a very, very lucky man.
Does that all sound a bit gushing? Maybe. Bit Mummy’s Boy? Maybe, though I'm not. I don’t care though – I'm more than happy to recognise and appreciate my mother for the extraordinary human being she is.
*I bought her a nice headset to use with Skype ... cost me maybe thirty pounds – hardly a King’s ransom. All I got for the month after was “how clear this headset is and how movies sound better when using it and isn't it just the most wonderful thing ever and I had no idea technology had moved on so much and isn't it amazing that it's so small and light and discrete and yet the sound's perfect and” ...
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