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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

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ORIGINAL: Charnegui

It does not actually feel like giving up something. It feels like winning the lottery (in my case that is)

The material stuff (flat, furniture, books, records, clothes etc.) was easy, but giving up a place of my own that I quite liked (even if I just spent about 4 month a year there) and moving into a house that belonged to both of us, that was the hard part. I wasn't sure if I could wake up next to somebody for the rest of my life, but we solved that problem by getting a house that was bigger than we actually need it, so we had spare rooms and I got a room that is just mine, not my office, just my own bolthole, it's not even a guest room, it's just MINE.

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Wow...I haven't had to give up anything.
Quite the opposite. I've gained so much more because of him.

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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Oh hell no, the pets are part and parcel, in fact if they'd disapprove of somebody it would be just that

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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Oh hell no, the pets are part and parcel, in fact if they'd disapprove of somebody it would be just that

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ORIGINAL: LoveSparkie

Yes, another question from me. Hey, I'm learning here..

Have you ever had to give up something you love for your significant other?

I am speaking both to doms and subs here, because I'm sure there are a few things doms have had to give up in the name of love (or lust..whatever).
Reason I'm asking is because I am getting to the point where I am realizing all the things I may have to give up for a future dom and wonder, am I ready for that?

What was it you gave up? How did you feel about it? Why did you make the decision to give it up?

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ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

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ORIGINAL: LoveSparkie

Yes, another question from me. Hey, I'm learning here..

Have you ever had to give up something you love for your significant other?

I am speaking both to doms and subs here, because I'm sure there are a few things doms have had to give up in the name of love (or lust..whatever).
Reason I'm asking is because I am getting to the point where I am realizing all the things I may have to give up for a future dom and wonder, am I ready for that?

What was it you gave up? How did you feel about it? Why did you make the decision to give it up?

At the risk of sounding idealistic.....

I strongly believe that when two lovers sit down and talk, even at an apparent impasse, and agree to continue to talk until they find a solution mutually satisfying, that they will find such a resolution. I've seen it happen repeatedly.

But often people don't do that. They get to the perceived impasse, and decide something's gotta give, jumping right to loss and sacrifice. And sure, that's OK to a point...but it's not the best approach, and it all too often is the beginning of cracks in the relationship's foundation, as small but denied resentments creep in.

There are always more options. We just need to learn to look for them.

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

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ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Wow...I haven't had to give up anything.
Quite the opposite. I've gained so much more because of him.

At this point, this has been my experience. 

But then prior to meeting him, I had decided IF I were ever to enter into a relationship again, it would have to add to the goodness in my life, not take away.  He adds.

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ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
At the risk of sounding idealistic..... I strongly believe that when two lovers sit down and talk, even at an apparent impasse, and agree to continue to talk until they find a solution mutually satisfying, that they will find such a resolution. I've seen it happen repeatedly.

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ORIGINAL: leadership527

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ORIGINAL: Musicmystery
At the risk of sounding idealistic..... I strongly believe that when two lovers sit down and talk, even at an apparent impasse, and agree to continue to talk until they find a solution mutually satisfying, that they will find such a resolution. I've seen it happen repeatedly.

Me too. But I have to tell you that from absolutely heart-wrenching personal experience I can tell you that base chemistry is real. It is quite possible (and incredibly painful) for two people to love each other deeply and for those same two people to be success-driven type-a personalities used to succeeding at what they turn their hand to and yet still have it not work. That was a REALLY bitter pill for me to swallow.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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ORIGINAL: LoveSparkie

Yes, another question from me. Hey, I'm learning here..

Have you ever had to give up something you love for your significant other?

I am speaking both to doms and subs here, because I'm sure there are a few things doms have had to give up in the name of love (or lust..whatever).
Reason I'm asking is because I am getting to the point where I am realizing all the things I may have to give up for a future dom and wonder, am I ready for that?

What was it you gave up? How did you feel about it? Why did you make the decision to give it up?

I think that my first dom got off on the entire martyr thing, his submissive "giving up" things for him. I do not think he would acknowledge that...

Boundaries are extremely important in a relationship. In my opinion (notice I said it is my opinion) healthy people have well established boundaries of what they are willing to "give up" for another person. In the most functional relationships these boundaries are shared, in dysfunctional relationships one person walks on another's boundaries in ways that make that person feel unsafe, unvalueable, and and unheard.

Rule of thumb, I am not willing to "give up" anything that helps me remain happy and emotionally stable. This means I am not willing to give up exercise, meditation time, nutritious foods, my family, my friends, my vocation, nor my home (by home, I mean a place that I feel a sense of belonging where I can feel comfortable and a sense of ownership over the space). I am also not willing to give up my sense of identity, nor my personal views on life. I am also not willing to give up my personal ethics for another person.

There maybe other things i am unwilling to compromise for a relationship, but the above are my fairly short list.

If a relationship demands that you give up the things that ground you and make you "you", why would you want it? I never equated submission with martyrdom.

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I gave up a couple of those things and so did he, as long as it is not forced and you feel you gain more than you give up, it's worth a try, yet if it is only you giving things up and nothing is reciprocated - don't walk, run!

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Rule of thumb, I am not willing to "give up" anything that helps me remain happy and emotionally stable

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I gave up my high paying career and the sports car that went with that

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ORIGINAL: LoveSparkie

Yes, another question from me. Hey, I'm learning here..

Have you ever had to give up something you love for your significant other?

I am speaking both to doms and subs here, because I'm sure there are a few things doms have had to give up in the name of love (or lust..whatever).
Reason I'm asking is because I am getting to the point where I am realizing all the things I may have to give up for a future dom and wonder, am I ready for that?

What was it you gave up? How did you feel about it? Why did you make the decision to give it up?

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It doesn't sound domly to put himself last