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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/15/2011 11:38:55 AM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kaylive

How do you deal with an ex in the community?

Like an adult?!! (shrugs)

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/15/2011 9:20:38 PM

MWFnortheast

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My hubby has an X and when we went to bondage parties we saw her a few times. Hubby is a Dom and finds it humorous to see her tied nude and sometimes being tortured. If it was me I would find it very embarassing so I think it is easier to be a Dom i those situations.

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/16/2011 4:14:24 AM

DesFIP

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In the future have better relationships, be a more adult person with equally mature partners. Have relationships with communication and honesty, don't lie or cheat, and have your relationships be valued even after they end. Don't break up by text either. The better the relationship is, the better it ends, the less you'll have to deal with fallout.

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/16/2011 7:54:58 AM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

In the future have better relationships, be a more adult person with equally mature partners. Have relationships with communication and honesty, don't lie or cheat, and have your relationships be valued even after they end. Don't break up by text either. The better the relationship is, the better it ends, the less you'll have to deal with fallout.

Dammit Des, I was going to be able to write this cool, insightful post and look all domly but you had to go and write so eloquently.

A few of you know why this is relevant to me. Doing the above helps, but it isn't easy. Her and I have done things that hurt each other, sometimes out of pettyness sometimes accidentally, we are human after all. THAT is the key, pick parters and act as Des says but just remember that that is a person on the other end, not perfect, not evil, someone you once cared deeply about and act accordingly.

I can tell you this, people who have lots of horrible ex parters are people who I will NEVER be their next ex partner! I avoid them like the drama filled plague they are as that is a HUGE GIANT SCREAMING RED FLAG that they can't pick partners well and no matter how hot they make you, it is going to end badly.

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 5/16/2011 7:56:20 AM >

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/16/2011 8:38:09 AM

mech1nomics

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I say he beg for forgiveness and hope they dont blast his ass in the vanilla world...also a way to get a dom or sub

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/16/2011 10:02:40 AM

Sunny27

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This was an area that I never thought I'd ever have any difficulty with! I had an ex vanilla guy who I never see but started calling me incessantly for three years after we broke up, he evn rang my house fone at 3 and 4 am to which my mother went to the phone thinking it was some relation in the states that was just sent to the hospital.
Telling my mum a year later annoyed her so much as she said "I would've had words with him, why didn't you tell me sooner!
I only found out because the next morning after the calls I stupidly texted him and said I hope that wasn't you that called my fone twice in the morning. We were in bed at that time don't call me again. He then wrote back to me saying "Sorry I called, I was hoping that you'd answer the phone!" Then he tried to add me as a friend on fb this year, bebo last year, myspace last year too!!

Jaysus I thought that was mad! The last three years since I've started doing Bdsm stuff with my b.f. now my ex of three years ago has just kept on looking/gawking at me and esp. if I'm at a fetish party and am nude! Whats even worse is that he always had a girlfriend at these parties and I heard say at one of them when a friend asked him why he was always checking me out and he said "Ohh she's my ex and she's still a very sexy woman I can look where I like!" Did that scare the hell out of me yes it did especially when his g.f. at the time turned around and looked at me with her eyes all puffed out really red and when a tear started to trickle down her face she removed it very quickly and I just stood there and shrugged my shoulders giving the idea as if I was saying I'm not with him so he's not my problem and I then walked away!
I did feel awfully bad for her but I did nothing. 2 years later when he was with another girl and my now b.f. at the time was tying me up to eithwer side of the door and I stood with me legs spread. This ex stood but maybe 2 feet away and watched as Myself and my Dom played with him slapping my bum, then flogging my bum and back, then paddling it and having a grope. I didn't care about him looking but when his girlfriend came up to take him off and play with her he stood with his feet on the ground and wouldn't move becasue he was having too much fun watching Myself and my Dom play!His sub at the time walked off in high dugeon!!
Now if I didn't have a dom at the time I would've gone up to him the play and would've said " I'm not your slave/sub/g.f. so next time you want some fun have it, with your own slave/sub/girl, got it and then I'd have walked away. I didn't at the time as I didn't want My own Dom feeling, awful about not having done anything. It's just it wasn't anything to do with him so at the time I just let it lie!
Hope that helps!

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/16/2011 5:59:38 PM

Iamsemisweet

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I am happy to say, I generally have good relationships with my exes, at least the ones that have any maturity whatsoever. In fact, some of them are now clients and refer me work also. I think it has to do with being honest and showing integrity, even when you have to say things they don't want to hear.

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/17/2011 5:08:06 AM

0ldhen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kaylive

If they are the type who bugs you to death or someone you may have beef with?

Ever heard of the Pine Barrens in Jersey?

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/17/2011 5:54:17 AM

sunshinemiss

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Oh.
My.
Golly.
Gee.
Goodness.

Only people from around there are gonna understand that, hen, but dang we are seriously gonna unnehstand!

Christ on crack that was funny.

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/17/2011 6:00:21 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Oh.
My.
Golly.
Gee.
Goodness.

Only people from around there are gonna understand that, hen, but dang we are seriously gonna unnehstand!

Christ on crack that was funny.

People familiar with Stephanie Plum will get it also

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/17/2011 6:11:24 AM

sunshinemiss

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<<< had to look up Stephanie Plum.

I was actually also thinking that .... didn't Adriana on the Sopranos get whacked there?

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/17/2011 6:14:22 AM

GreedyTop

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I love the SP books!!!

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/17/2011 7:10:11 AM

Iamsemisweet

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I used to love the SP books. I think they kind of jumped the shark at about Ten

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/17/2011 12:18:43 PM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

<<< had to look up Stephanie Plum.

I was actually also thinking that .... didn't Adriana on the Sopranos get whacked there?

Not sure, I missed the Sopranos. If you like light mysteries, check out one of her books. They are a scream.

Just ask GT

And back to the topic....

The only ex that I would have a problem with is in Fl so no problems. I still get along with the ones up here.

< Message edited by thishereboi -- 5/17/2011 12:20:25 PM >

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RE: How do you deal with an ex in the community? - 5/17/2011 3:45:12 PM

theRose4U

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I deal with it with grace and dignity, even if it means smiling and walking away from the bait.
Anyone that's an ex is in that position for a reason. Anyone likely to attempt to cause a problem will harm themself more by behaving like a jackass while I look on in pity than anything I can do.

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