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Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 7:39:35 AM   
MargueriteV


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/5/2009
Status: offline 		So I received what I'd call a blacklist letter previous mentor of mine. Its basically 4 paragraphs on how my mentor is a horrible lifestyle/pro domme that destroys lives it also throws some really personal business out there and the sender makes a point of saying that they sent this message to everyone they know.

I'm stuck between forwarding the message to her so she knows whats up or ignoring the whole thing to cut out possible drama.

What do think of my situation, how would you handle it?


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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 7:54:02 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		How does the sender know who your mentor is?

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 8:04:43 AM   
MargueriteV


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/5/2009
Status: offline 		The original sender is the girlfriend of someone my mentor knows or dated.

Forgot to say I got this message from someone that got the original message.


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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 8:14:05 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		dont send it.

teh nightmare for one person may be the fantasy/dream fulfilment  for another.



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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 8:31:31 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		I'd say to stay out of it but I'm that way. I do not like any extra drama in my life. Maybe some would think that was cold but I just hate having anything hinting of drama on my plate if it's not mine.

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 8:49:42 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Drama only begets more drama. Please just ignore it, or else you go down to the level of the original sender.

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 8:51:07 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Teenage Drama Queens, in free verse; Chapter 1.





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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 8:51:55 AM   
flcouple2009


Posts: 2784
Joined: 1/8/2009
Status: offline 		Just hit the delete button.  Who needs that kind of drama?

If ever asked by your mentor if you knew anything about it just give the truth, you put it in the trash where it belonged.

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 9:37:34 AM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Do you seriously need help on this one ?  WoW! 

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 12:59:19 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MargueriteV

So I received what I'd call a blacklist letter previous mentor of mine. Its basically 4 paragraphs on how my mentor is a horrible lifestyle/pro domme that destroys lives it also throws some really personal business out there and the sender makes a point of saying that they sent this message to everyone they know.


Greetings,

My response would depend on the nature of our relationship, if we parted on good terms, and if the individual is going to shoot the messenger upon delivery. Having had Someone in that role in a pseudo sort of way, I'd tell Her. As for your situation, there's the likelihood of more fallout or maybe an informative tap on the shoulder that allows the person to address the situation head on. That's the positive spiel. On the other hand, when you have people like this in your life you're usually aware of their ability to wreak havoc.

I'd be hard pressed to believe that your former mentor is completely in the dark. And while she may not be cognizant of the current stunt, I wouldn't be surprised if this is one in a line of many that have occurred thus far. The real question is why you're debating this. Unless there's some element of truth in what was said. I'd never allow anyone to villify my former Lady in that manner. But then again, She's worthy of the defense.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 1:02:26 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Personally I would want to know if someone was slandering me. So I could sue them for every dollar they ever made. Internet bullying and such doesn't appeal to me.  

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 1:41:48 PM   
Palliata


Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline 		Call me a dramatist, but I'd tend to forward anything relevant to someone I was close with. If they shoot the messenger, or try to drag me into their drama more than I already was, then I'd ignore them and move on with my life.

If she was a good mentor to you, and someone you still think highly of, don't you think you kind of owe it to them to not keep them in the dark?


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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 1:42:54 PM   
divi


Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Dramatist?  Sounds more like a shit stirrer.

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( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 4:28:49 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		There is a reason I don't get crap like that anymore and haven't in almost a decade. I deleted gossip, ignored it and formed/used my own judgement. It was unprofitable for the shit stirrers to bother with me and they faded from my circle of friends. YMMV.

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 4:55:10 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'd phone her and tell her about it in general terms, like you did here.  There is no way I'd send her the letter unless I discussed it with her first.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 4:56:12 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		...but on the other hand, if you don't say anything you might have to deal with her turning round to you later and saying 'why the fuck did you keep this from me?'

I can see both sides of the argument. Not an easy decision.


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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/24/2011 5:52:51 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'd laugh and then ignore the letter, the domme and the person who sent the letter.

I'd consider every single one of those too much drama for my life and extremely not worth even bothering one more second with in my life.

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/25/2011 1:28:57 PM   
MargueriteV


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/5/2009
Status: offline 		To answer some questions...

She and I are friends, having her as a mentor was a blast.

I was hesitant to let her know about this, because some stress has come up in her non-domme life, after some thought I don't think its fair to let her think everything is okay on this side when there is actually a knife in her back.

She isn't the 'shoot the messenger type'.

Since I'm refusing to leave a voice mail, when I reach her I'll be as diplomatic as possible.

The person I know her to be makes that letter a piece of badly written fiction.

Thanks for the opinions, and mail.



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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/25/2011 2:36:25 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		So you are going to play right into the drama.

cool


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Blacklist Letter - 3/25/2011 3:54:33 PM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MargueriteV

I'm stuck between forwarding the message to her so she knows whats up or ignoring the whole thing to cut out possible drama.

Personally, if I knew that the shit being spread was false, I wouldn't do either of the above. I'd pen a sharply pointed and detailed rebuttal, which would include a generous helping of my views on people who pull this kind of crap, and post or email it where it would do the most good.

Then I'd have a nice lunch.

K.

< Message edited by Kirata -- 3/25/2011 3:57:29 PM >

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