So I'm gonna rant here!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

So I'm gonna rant here!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> So I'm gonna rant here!

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 7:55:45 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

There is a topic in the Mistress' Forum right now that both pisses me off and makes me sad...

I mean, what in the wide wide world of sports makes people think that when they embark on a BDSM relationship that they are so completely "off the map" that somehow "anything goes" and the normal concepts of common sense, humans in relationship dynamics, and sometimes even the laws of physics no longer apply!?

How is it that someone could get themselves so LOST that they would need to ask vague relationship questions to total strangers on the Internet, and when they get eighteleven answers from people hurrying through their day and jot off a response, they come back and seem intent to take what may be life changing action on that advice!?

W T F

And if they take the advice of strangers on the Internet and make poor choices with it, well I guess we could call that a form of social Darwinism and that we are somehow doing a service...but I don't know...are we more confirming beliefs that they are indeed in uncharted waters and "here be dragons"?

I feel like the kid "Tweek"on Southpark some days reading some of this stuff...

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

Post #: 1

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 7:59:22 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

I am not going to argue with you

I will simply nod my head in agreement.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 2

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 8:16:12 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Otter... sometimes people come to places like the internet to ask complete strangers a question just so they can get answers from strangers that confirm what they are already thinking.

It's a kind of self affirming thing.

If you only give one side of the story, and you have already made up your mind... then the resulting posts that support your decision, sometimes just gives a person the boost they needed themselves to go ahead and do what they already feel is right.

If you are using this thread to vent about the thread I assume you are... that OP had already made up his mind and just needed it confirmed. Even by strangers.
Personally I tend to try and avoid posts like that, but sometimes people just need that extra 'ompf'

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 3

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 8:17:14 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

Because the majority pops up living in their own little fantasy land, thinking that the bdsm is one world and vanilla is another. They leave the boring vanilla world behind and greet their fantasy land that is free from all duties, responsibilities and common sense etc., riding on their very own little unicorn waiting on their wings to grow and their magic wand to appear that will fix all the world's problems.

..and then when they discover their fantasy land isn't the way they expected they pout and everybody that so much as dares pointing that out is an ass.

oh and I forgot, that is what we're supposed to provide; the magic wand.

< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 2/10/2011 8:20:23 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 4

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 8:40:53 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Otter... sometimes people come to places like the internet to ask complete strangers a question just so they can get answers from strangers that confirm what they are already thinking.

It's a kind of self affirming thing.

If you only give one side of the story, and you have already made up your mind... then the resulting posts that support your decision, sometimes just gives a person the boost they needed themselves to go ahead and do what they already feel is right.

If you are using this thread to vent about the thread I assume you are... that OP had already made up his mind and just needed it confirmed. Even by strangers.
Personally I tend to try and avoid posts like that, but sometimes people just need that extra 'ompf'

This.
It's not so bad to want something that you are thinking confirmed. After all, there are people out there trying to push and manipulate others to get what they want be it sex, money, whatever. If the poster you were talking about had gotten the 'if you were truly submissive you'd do it" speech and knew better, but wanted it confirmed that he shouldn't be a push over- is that so bad? It's hard to stand up to the pushing and manipulation sometimes, after all it's designed to make us think twice and question ourselves isn't it? The people who do it are often quite good at it and even though we should know better we find ourselves falling for the bait. Not every one is strong enough to stand up for themselves....especially to someone who is experienced in playing on that in the hopes of pusuing their own agenda.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 5

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 9:34:04 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Hrrrrmmmm...

[edited] OK, I was going to post about how I've asked some pretty stupid questions in my day. But then I went on over to actually look at the threads. Nevermind - rant accepted :)

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 6

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 10:02:18 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
There is a topic in the Mistress' Forum right now that both pisses me off and makes me sad...

I mean, what in the wide wide world of sports makes people think that when they embark on a BDSM relationship that they are so completely "off the map" that somehow "anything goes" and the normal concepts of common sense, humans in relationship dynamics, and sometimes even the laws of physics no longer apply!?

How is it that someone could get themselves so LOST that they would need to ask vague relationship questions to total strangers on the Internet, and when they get eighteleven answers from people hurrying through their day and jot off a response, they come back and seem intent to take what may be life changing action on that advice!?

W T F

And if they take the advice of strangers on the Internet and make poor choices with it, well I guess we could call that a form of social Darwinism and that we are somehow doing a service...but I don't know...are we more confirming beliefs that they are indeed in uncharted waters and "here be dragons"?

It's true that some days we are simply pixels on a screen. It is also true, that some people are that lonely, lacking family, and close friends to whom one is completely honest, without fear of judgement.

I'm very spontaneous, believe two adults can feel and go with their feelings, letting the chips fall where they may. However, in everyday my advice, to someone who doesn't have a closeknit family, and an enormous amount of common sense, is far more guarded and reserved, and based on the law of averages.
I hope this has something to do with your post.

M

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 7

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 10:09:50 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Hey, subtlebutterfly, I got yer magic wand right here.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Post #: 8

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 10:10:36 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Not long ago, I told somebody that their original post was probably the stupidest thing that I had ever seen on the internet. Since then, I've been proven wrong at least three times.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Post #: 9

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 10:14:39 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

How is it that someone could get themselves so LOST that they would need to ask vague relationship questions to total strangers on the Internet, and when they get eighteleven answers from people hurrying through their day and jot off a response, they come back and seem intent to take what may be life changing action on that advice!?

W T F

And if they take the advice of strangers on the Internet and make poor choices with it, well I guess we could call that a form of social Darwinism and that we are somehow doing a service...but I don't know...are we more confirming beliefs that they are indeed in uncharted waters and "here be dragons"?

I feel like the kid "Tweek"on Southpark some days reading some of this stuff...

I agree with you, but apparently, many people here have an endless supply of patience for these kinds of threads and continue to offer their sage advice. I admire that.

However, some of these same posters get upset when others do not supply the touchy feely type of response that they have the aforementioned endless supply of patience for.

They say that many innocents come to our enlightening site to get information and if even one person was helped by the advice, good. I agree with that statement. However, I think the kinds of people who seek the advice you are ranting about, will not listen to anyone, so the good advice is taking negatively.

I am sad too, that adults seem in short supply on so many threads, but hey, it is online so anything goes.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 10

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 10:15:20 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

ohhh kinky Steven!!! I like!

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 11

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 10:26:52 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
I mean, what in the wide wide world of sports makes people think that when they embark on a BDSM relationship that they are so completely "off the map" that somehow "anything goes" and the normal concepts of common sense, humans in relationship dynamics, and sometimes even the laws of physics no longer apply!?

After reading yet another "is this acceptable?" thread this morning (most likely the same one the OP is refering to), I started to ask myself the same question. Then, I decided to have a look at what's out there for bdsm fiction (I'm of the belief that many people take their cues, in the beginning, from what they read and what they view).

Just a quick glance at some of that made the ever-popular CM -=BDSM Book List=- and you have "The Story of O", "The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy" and "The Market Place Series" listed as some of the top for fiction. If you have a look in the fiction section for sex/sexuality/fetish in most major bookstores, you'll have similar fantasy choices. Even romance novelists have gotten into the "bdsm erotica" market.
Have a look at how bdsm is portrayed in most porn videos or movies....fantasy. Yes, there may be one or two examples that offer something a bit more grounded, but they're a rarity.

Is it any wonder that people come here and assume that a D/s or M/s relationship is going to be anything but the answer to all their extreme and 'special' fantasies?

Yes, common sense should prevail...should being the operative word. We all know common sense ain't so common. We also know for every naive noob there'll be more than a few white knights around looking to "lead the way" as well as users who just want to get their rocks off.

Much like vanilla (gawd, I hate to use that word...just another way of making D/s seem different) relationships.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 2/10/2011 10:28:46 AM >

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 12

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 11:13:40 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh
After reading yet another "is this acceptable?" thread this morning (most likely the same one the OP is refering to), I started to ask myself the same question. Then, I decided to have a look at what's out there for bdsm fiction (I'm of the belief that many people take their cues, in the beginning, from what they read and what they view).

Now that's an interesting observation. Carol and I didn't read any BDSM fiction... we weren't even really exposed to it. So it's not surprising that I took a "real relationship" view on M/s when I ran into it. Our exposure was through online gor... which granted is pretty fictional, but my eyes were always towards the actual application in a "lifestyle" sense.

quote:

Is it any wonder that people come here and assume that a D/s or M/s relationship is going to be anything but the answer to all their extreme and 'special' fantasies?

And again, it was never a fantasy basis for us. But yeah, if that's how I got introduced I could see how it'd warp my expectations.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 13

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 11:36:52 AM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

They are seeking our hidden arcane knowledge.. lol

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 14

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 3:32:40 PM

ImaginativeWhims

Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2011
Status: offline

Wait a damn minute here Otter... are you trying to tell me that the Laws of Physics apply now that I've migrated to the kink? Well, shit.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 15

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 3:34:01 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Unless you have access to Tarsus, IW :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to ImaginativeWhims)

Post #: 16

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 4:27:49 PM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
How is it that someone could get themselves so LOST that they would need to ask vague relationship questions to total strangers on the Internet, and when they get eighteleven answers from people hurrying through their day and jot off a response, they come back and seem intent to take what may be life changing action on that advice!?

Nobody changes their life based on internet advise. It's all a bit of a pointless exercise in truth; all you are doing is either reassuring them that they are right or upsetting them because you think they are wrong. They already know what they are going to do or if a situation is right or not but they are just too scared to stand by their own decisions. They require those decisions to be signed off by others. If you aren't going to live your own life then what is the point of having your own life?

I don't give advise on principle. So don't give advise. No. Stop this advise giving. Stop it right now.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 17

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 5:18:32 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

advice

I advise you to use the word advice when its a noun; use the word advise when its a verb.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to FullCircle)

Post #: 18

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 5:52:29 PM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

That's probably good advise but since you are on the internet I don't know whether or not to follow it.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 19

RE: So I'm gonna rant here! - 2/10/2011 6:01:59 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Call me an unrealistic optimist...

But I come to CM to read incredible insightful posts with each read.... unfortunately... I am constantly leaving CM rarely reading such posts.

So... I wonder what is more stupid... those posts or me coming back and reading them!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> So I'm gonna rant here!

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.141