So I'm gonna rant here!

So I'm gonna rant here! (Full Version)

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OttersSwim -> So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 7:55:45 AM)
There is a topic in the Mistress' Forum right now that both pisses me off and makes me sad... I mean, what in the wide wide world of sports makes people think that when they embark on a BDSM relationship that they are so completely "off the map" that somehow "anything goes" and the normal concepts of common sense, humans in relationship dynamics, and sometimes even the laws of physics no longer apply!? How is it that someone could get themselves so LOST that they would need to ask vague relationship questions to total strangers on the Internet, and when they get eighteleven answers from people hurrying through their day and jot off a response, they come back and seem intent to take what may be life changing action on that advice!? W T F And if they take the advice of strangers on the Internet and make poor choices with it, well I guess we could call that a form of social Darwinism and that we are somehow doing a service...but I don't know...are we more confirming beliefs that they are indeed in uncharted waters and "here be dragons"? [sm=gaah.gif] I feel like the kid "Tweek"on Southpark some days reading some of this stuff...

IrishMist -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 7:59:22 AM)
I am not going to argue with you [:)] I will simply nod my head in agreement.

RCdc -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 8:16:12 AM)
Otter... sometimes people come to places like the internet to ask complete strangers a question just so they can get answers from strangers that confirm what they are already thinking. It's a kind of self affirming thing. If you only give one side of the story, and you have already made up your mind... then the resulting posts that support your decision, sometimes just gives a person the boost they needed themselves to go ahead and do what they already feel is right. If you are using this thread to vent about the thread I assume you are... that OP had already made up his mind and just needed it confirmed. Even by strangers. Personally I tend to try and avoid posts like that, but sometimes people just need that extra 'ompf'

subtlebutterfly -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 8:17:14 AM)
Because the majority pops up living in their own little fantasy land, thinking that the bdsm is one world and vanilla is another. They leave the boring vanilla world behind and greet their fantasy land that is free from all duties, responsibilities and common sense etc., riding on their very own little unicorn waiting on their wings to grow and their magic wand to appear that will fix all the world's problems. ..and then when they discover their fantasy land isn't the way they expected they pout and everybody that so much as dares pointing that out is an ass. oh and I forgot, that is what we're supposed to provide; the magic wand.

lizi -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 8:40:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RCdc Otter... sometimes people come to places like the internet to ask complete strangers a question just so they can get answers from strangers that confirm what they are already thinking. It's a kind of self affirming thing. If you only give one side of the story, and you have already made up your mind... then the resulting posts that support your decision, sometimes just gives a person the boost they needed themselves to go ahead and do what they already feel is right. If you are using this thread to vent about the thread I assume you are... that OP had already made up his mind and just needed it confirmed. Even by strangers. Personally I tend to try and avoid posts like that, but sometimes people just need that extra 'ompf' This. It's not so bad to want something that you are thinking confirmed. After all, there are people out there trying to push and manipulate others to get what they want be it sex, money, whatever. If the poster you were talking about had gotten the 'if you were truly submissive you'd do it" speech and knew better, but wanted it confirmed that he shouldn't be a push over- is that so bad? It's hard to stand up to the pushing and manipulation sometimes, after all it's designed to make us think twice and question ourselves isn't it? The people who do it are often quite good at it and even though we should know better we find ourselves falling for the bait. Not every one is strong enough to stand up for themselves....especially to someone who is experienced in playing on that in the hopes of pusuing their own agenda.

leadership527 -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 9:34:04 AM)
Hrrrrmmmm... [edited] OK, I was going to post about how I've asked some pretty stupid questions in my day. But then I went on over to actually look at the threads. Nevermind - rant accepted :)

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 10:02:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim There is a topic in the Mistress' Forum right now that both pisses me off and makes me sad... I mean, what in the wide wide world of sports makes people think that when they embark on a BDSM relationship that they are so completely "off the map" that somehow "anything goes" and the normal concepts of common sense, humans in relationship dynamics, and sometimes even the laws of physics no longer apply!? How is it that someone could get themselves so LOST that they would need to ask vague relationship questions to total strangers on the Internet, and when they get eighteleven answers from people hurrying through their day and jot off a response, they come back and seem intent to take what may be life changing action on that advice!? W T F And if they take the advice of strangers on the Internet and make poor choices with it, well I guess we could call that a form of social Darwinism and that we are somehow doing a service...but I don't know...are we more confirming beliefs that they are indeed in uncharted waters and "here be dragons"? It's true that some days we are simply pixels on a screen. It is also true, that some people are that lonely, lacking family, and close friends to whom one is completely honest, without fear of judgement. I'm very spontaneous, believe two adults can feel and go with their feelings, letting the chips fall where they may. However, in everyday my advice, to someone who doesn't have a closeknit family, and an enormous amount of common sense, is far more guarded and reserved, and based on the law of averages. I hope this has something to do with your post. [:D] M

DarkSteven -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 10:09:50 AM)
Hey, subtlebutterfly, I got yer magic wand right here. [8D]

LadyPact -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 10:10:36 AM)
Not long ago, I told somebody that their original post was probably the stupidest thing that I had ever seen on the internet. Since then, I've been proven wrong at least three times.

sexyred1 -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 10:14:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim How is it that someone could get themselves so LOST that they would need to ask vague relationship questions to total strangers on the Internet, and when they get eighteleven answers from people hurrying through their day and jot off a response, they come back and seem intent to take what may be life changing action on that advice!? W T F And if they take the advice of strangers on the Internet and make poor choices with it, well I guess we could call that a form of social Darwinism and that we are somehow doing a service...but I don't know...are we more confirming beliefs that they are indeed in uncharted waters and "here be dragons"? [sm=gaah.gif] I feel like the kid "Tweek"on Southpark some days reading some of this stuff... I agree with you, but apparently, many people here have an endless supply of patience for these kinds of threads and continue to offer their sage advice. I admire that. However, some of these same posters get upset when others do not supply the touchy feely type of response that they have the aforementioned endless supply of patience for. They say that many innocents come to our enlightening site to get information and if even one person was helped by the advice, good. I agree with that statement. However, I think the kinds of people who seek the advice you are ranting about, will not listen to anyone, so the good advice is taking negatively. I am sad too, that adults seem in short supply on so many threads, but hey, it is online so anything goes.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 10:15:20 AM)
ohhh kinky Steven!!! I like! [8D]

BonesFromAsh -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 10:26:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim I mean, what in the wide wide world of sports makes people think that when they embark on a BDSM relationship that they are so completely "off the map" that somehow "anything goes" and the normal concepts of common sense, humans in relationship dynamics, and sometimes even the laws of physics no longer apply!? After reading yet another "is this acceptable?" thread this morning (most likely the same one the OP is refering to), I started to ask myself the same question. Then, I decided to have a look at what's out there for bdsm fiction (I'm of the belief that many people take their cues, in the beginning, from what they read and what they view). Just a quick glance at some of that made the ever-popular CM -=BDSM Book List=- and you have "The Story of O", "The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy" and "The Market Place Series" listed as some of the top for fiction. If you have a look in the fiction section for sex/sexuality/fetish in most major bookstores, you'll have similar fantasy choices. Even romance novelists have gotten into the "bdsm erotica" market. Have a look at how bdsm is portrayed in most porn videos or movies....fantasy. Yes, there may be one or two examples that offer something a bit more grounded, but they're a rarity. Is it any wonder that people come here and assume that a D/s or M/s relationship is going to be anything but the answer to all their extreme and 'special' fantasies? Yes, common sense should prevail...should being the operative word. We all know common sense ain't so common. We also know for every naive noob there'll be more than a few white knights around looking to "lead the way" as well as users who just want to get their rocks off. Much like vanilla (gawd, I hate to use that word...just another way of making D/s seem different) relationships.

leadership527 -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 11:13:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh After reading yet another "is this acceptable?" thread this morning (most likely the same one the OP is refering to), I started to ask myself the same question. Then, I decided to have a look at what's out there for bdsm fiction (I'm of the belief that many people take their cues, in the beginning, from what they read and what they view). Now that's an interesting observation. Carol and I didn't read any BDSM fiction... we weren't even really exposed to it. So it's not surprising that I took a "real relationship" view on M/s when I ran into it. Our exposure was through online gor... which granted is pretty fictional, but my eyes were always towards the actual application in a "lifestyle" sense. quote: Is it any wonder that people come here and assume that a D/s or M/s relationship is going to be anything but the answer to all their extreme and 'special' fantasies? And again, it was never a fantasy basis for us. But yeah, if that's how I got introduced I could see how it'd warp my expectations.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 11:36:52 AM)
They are seeking our hidden arcane knowledge.. lol

ImaginativeWhims -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 3:32:40 PM)
Wait a damn minute here Otter... are you trying to tell me that the Laws of Physics apply now that I've migrated to the kink? Well, shit.

GreedyTop -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 3:34:01 PM)
Unless you have access to Tarsus, IW :)

FullCircle -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 4:27:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim How is it that someone could get themselves so LOST that they would need to ask vague relationship questions to total strangers on the Internet, and when they get eighteleven answers from people hurrying through their day and jot off a response, they come back and seem intent to take what may be life changing action on that advice!? Nobody changes their life based on internet advise. It's all a bit of a pointless exercise in truth; all you are doing is either reassuring them that they are right or upsetting them because you think they are wrong. They already know what they are going to do or if a situation is right or not but they are just too scared to stand by their own decisions. They require those decisions to be signed off by others. If you aren't going to live your own life then what is the point of having your own life? I don't give advise on principle. So don't give advise. No. Stop this advise giving. Stop it right now.

Madame4a -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 5:18:32 PM)
advice I advise you to use the word advice when its a noun; use the word advise when its a verb.

FullCircle -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 5:52:29 PM)
That's probably good advise but since you are on the internet I don't know whether or not to follow it.

KnightofMists -> RE: So I'm gonna rant here! (2/10/2011 6:01:59 PM)
Call me an unrealistic optimist... But I come to CM to read incredible insightful posts with each read.... unfortunately... I am constantly leaving CM rarely reading such posts. So... I wonder what is more stupid... those posts or me coming back and reading them!

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