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RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/27/2010 11:36:27 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

I hope the "husband" drugs and rapes you.

Good to see things are still going along swimmingly out here.

See OP, you can get angry about the sarcasm if you like but this is the most valid point of the lot.

At best (if he's been completely honest) you'd be walking into a room with an incapacitated woman (who may or may not exist) and a man who's demonstrating pretty clearly that he has questionable boundaries, by denying her the ability to consent and you the ability to ensure her consent. Would you walk into a room with this guy if it weren't for the lure of an hour with his (possibly nonexistent) partner?

Probably not.

I don't know if you get these in American cities, but if you wander around some of the seedier bits of central London you see open doorways with cards pinned to the wall advertising a 'model' at the top of the stairs-a walk-in, no-need-to-book service, if you will. I am reliably informed that if you actually *go* up the stairs you're just as likely to encounter a fella with a cricket bat who will deprive you of your wallet as you are to meet a 'model'.

Think of this like the kinky equivalent.

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(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 21

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/28/2010 12:02:23 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: love2cubound
I have an opp. to participate with a submissive, she will be all tied up and a few rules ready for one hours total use. Her husband will be present. He wants me to show up at their house. We have not met and I do not have her consent. I see all kinds of red flags. Although I love this play, something tells me this is wrong and I could get into trouble if the submissive says there was no consent. Your thoughts......

Please send us a postcard from whatever jail or mental institution or AIDS-hospital you end up in.

(in reply to love2cubound)

Post #: 22

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/28/2010 2:32:34 AM

WolfyMontgomery

Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline

Fast Reply

This topic actually makes me want to sit on the fence for a moment, bring a smidgen of controversy into the mix.

I do agree that from the sounds of the OP, this is a situation for disaster if the submissive is unconsenting or doesn't know, little communication between the guy who has the girl to the guy he wants to mess with the girl. Most definitely major red flags.

At the same time though, this is something that Master and I talk about a lot - and have done before and plan to do again. But with WAAAY different requirements of course. Mainly the fact that I'll be consenting and forwarned about the scene (though he does like the idea of surprising me, which may happen someday in the future), we've talked about it long beforehand and I'll know what's what and will have probably seen pictures of prospective guys, Master is always very strict about how others handle me, and has communicated quite clearly what is allowed and what is not.

In the future, I may or may not have met the Dom he invites to play with us before the play night. I may or may not even know for sure whether something will happen or not (the rule here being he will probably give me a several-day time scale, and I don't know which day for sure it's going to happen, thus the surprise). He and the other Dom though will have so thoroughly communicated, set the limits, known that I was consenting (proved that we were a couple with the multiple pictures we have), traded information and had multiple emails accounting for the scene that there is little question on either side what will happen and the consequences of the happenings (a good time ;P).

So there are two sides to this fence, from what I can see. It can be VERY poorly done, leaving room for questions and popping up dozens of red flags around every corner and paragraph. Or it can be VERY well done, leaving nothing to question and there having been a set plan that even the submissive knew about and trusted would be held to.

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(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 23

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/28/2010 4:04:08 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

I've only read the OP and my initial reaction is the OP has answered his own question -- if you have to ask questions like this to a group of strangers, to me, your best decision is to not participate.

Sorta along the lines of if you have to ask the answer is no.

angel

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(in reply to LadyRian)

Post #: 24

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/28/2010 4:59:34 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

Wolfy,

The difference between your situation and his that if there's input from *you* then there's a way for the other party to guarantee your consent (and existence).

Even if it's just a phonecall where the other guy doesn't speak at all and you say something along the lines of 'hi, I'm Wolfy, I'm Mr X's girlfriend and I know you're planning x,y,z, to which I consent'.

Which is actually kind of a hot idea in itself.

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(in reply to WolfyMontgomery)

Post #: 25

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/28/2010 11:09:29 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

OP, I would NOT recommend doing this. The red flags are glaring. (1)You've never met or got to know them. You don't know what kind of people they are. She may be tied up, but he could be dangerous. (2)She hasn't given her consent. It doesn't matter that HE'S given HIS consent. SHE is the one you'll be doing things to. I see all sorts of legal problems here.

I know if anyone did things to ME without MY consent, they would have unholy hell to pay. Depending on what it was they did, assault and/or rape come to mind. Better to back off.

~sweetsub~

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to love2cubound)

Post #: 26

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/28/2010 2:11:34 PM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I have an opp. to participate with a submissive, she will be all tied up and a few rules ready for one hours total use. Her husband will be present. He wants me to show up at their house. We have not met and I do not have her consent. I see all kinds of red flags. Although I love this play, something tells me this is wrong and I could get into trouble if the submissive says there was no consent. Your thoughts...... [/quot

simple as hell!

keep moving!

CP

(in reply to love2cubound)

Post #: 27

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/28/2010 7:00:57 PM

alaskan1961

Posts: 33
Joined: 11/19/2010
Status: offline

Wow...... I am new to thisbut I would have to politely say thanks for the offer, but no.... I would be very leary of someone offering up their wife who hasn't consented and is already bound up, and have never met each other... Can anyone say RED FLAG?

Anyway, I am sure you are a clever man and have bowed out gracefully.... Don't get me wrong, I would love for the role to be played out with me, but only after a meet and both parties agreeing... Do I make sense here? I am new, but it seems like common sense? Hope it worked out for you.....

(in reply to love2cubound)

Post #: 28

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/28/2010 9:52:07 PM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

I'm glad you passed on this!

It sounds like it could be a fun fantasy - if you met them first and made sure they both wanted it and negotiated how it would go down. But showing up at a stranger's house to do ____ to a bound non-consenting woman he says is his sub is really, really not okay.

(in reply to love2cubound)

Post #: 29

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 1:45:23 AM

oldbabyface

Posts: 56
Joined: 7/13/2010
From: West Midlands, UK
Status: offline

What's that old rule?
If in doubt, don't.

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Post #: 30

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 2:04:06 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I dug this up from one of the past threads from the Alternative Lifestyles in the News board. The original post was made in February.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Men need to be cautous, too

this will probably ruin this guys life - and he thought he was participating in a consentual fantasy.

What can a guy who is drawn to the 'sudden stranger rape' fantasy do to protect himself?

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 11/29/2010 2:13:28 AM >

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Post #: 31

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 2:12:36 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

~fast reply~

OP - you have never met this guy, right? And you would totally believe that the woman he has bound and gagged ready for you is his wife? And that she has given her consent for ANYONE (including the "husband") to touch her? Really? Is that the defence you'd use in court when you're up on charges of rape, assault and goodness knows what else?

Walk away...or we'll be reading about you in the newspapers.

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Post #: 32

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 5:48:10 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I dug this up from one of the past threads from the Alternative Lifestyles in the News board. The original post was made in February.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tsatske

Men need to be cautous, too

this will probably ruin this guys life - and he thought he was participating in a consentual fantasy.

What can a guy who is drawn to the 'sudden stranger rape' fantasy do to protect himself?

That sentence was 60 years for the guy who posted the rape fantasy ad. The man who carried out the "fantasy" also received a 60 year sentence:

http://trib.com/news/local/article_4b04f85a-21a5-54b5-a3a0-798aa0b8f2bf.html

I'd rather be drugged and robbed. Not kidding.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 33

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 8:06:48 AM

81song

Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline

I would agree with many here that first meeting should be always in public and as some have aid go by your gut feeling most of the time it is right.
Red flag, looks like it.

(in reply to LadyRian)

Post #: 34

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 9:08:30 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Very cool! I have been waiting for a new case to show up on the ID channel. This one has rape, double murder, and the husband claiming responsibility for killing his wife's rapist/murderer.
Think I am kidding? I saw a case similar to this recently.

quote:

ORIGINAL: love2cubound

I have an opp. to participate with a submissive, she will be all tied up and a few rules ready for one hours total use. Her husband will be present. He wants me to show up at their house. We have not met and I do not have her consent. I see all kinds of red flags. Although I love this play, something tells me this is wrong and I could get into trouble if the submissive says there was no consent. Your thoughts......

(in reply to love2cubound)

Post #: 35

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 9:22:36 AM

Buzzzz

Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline

Same answer as everybody else over here.... If you knew the guy well, knew the woman well also and they have that fantasy that the three of you talked about ... then The husband would be planning the scene , everybody would know about it .. and everything would be ok... Of course,, you will need a lot of time (at least a couple of month) between the discussion and the scene, so the "surprise effect" had an impact..

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 36

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 10:43:38 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

ehhh I call BULL SHIT on the post. Later on to add more high school Drama oh BTW it's a person on CM.
Let's say someone was stupid enuff to offer their SO to a stranger for rape and pillage. The only other person in this equation that is stupider <yes it's a word cuz I said so> is a person that would actually consider this action.

BadOne

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(in reply to Buzzzz)

Post #: 37

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 11:21:50 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

The OP says they are on CM. So why don't they comment here? The thing about "one hour" of play is puzzling also. Would anyone be so firm about the time frame?

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(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 38

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 11:34:42 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

ehhh I call BULL SHIT on the post. Later on to add more high school Drama oh BTW it's a person on CM.
Let's say someone was stupid enuff to offer their SO to a stranger for rape and pillage. The only other person in this equation that is stupider <yes it's a word cuz I said so> is a person that would actually consider this action.

BadOne

I've had fairly similar offers-I started a thread ages ago about a guy who wanted to blindfold his gf in a hotel room and not tell her I was there until she figured it out for herself.

Given some of the shit headcases on this site want to do, this is the thing you find unbelievable?

I find that unbelievable.

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Post #: 39

RE: How safe is it to meet, what is recommended - 11/29/2010 11:37:41 AM

LifestyleDominat

Posts: 9
Joined: 11/2/2010
Status: offline

My $.02 worth. Maybe have the local swat team be there on your side. They could protect you LOL. No for real. Meet in a public place, many exits, and bring a friend with you.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 40

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