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RE: Mind Control - 10/2/2010 2:59:26 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

It's all about the *right* headspace...!

If I were having that particular r/l issues type convo with my girl, she would NOT be sitting at my feet. There's a time and place for D/s just as there is for us to be equal, mature adults.

For me, you're describing the latter....

Focus.

I have to admit Focus, I'm kinda surprised by your answer.

For us the d/s is always present no matter what the conversation. I am always at his feet, no matter what we are speaking about. Now that does not mean he doesn't allow me to make a decision about something on my own and we don't discuss things out like two mature adults, but in the end he is allowing me that and if he wanted to change my decision he has that right.

There is never a moment in our lives where he is not the one with the power.

I've had two subs in my life who, when I did ask an opinion on something mundane (like what colour to paint a room, for eg), would default to a "whatever you want/think" mindset.... All very well and "subby" etc - but bloody annoying and exasperating, too!

It's in my profile - owning my girl is owning *ALL* she is. I'm not a creative or artistic person, I'm not trend or fashion savvy and I certainly can't give a home the "feminine touch".... So when I want/need input from my girl, who would always be a mature adult alongside her innate submissiveness, then I don't wanna hear "whatever you want/think"...! I DO wanna hear what another free thinking, opinionated, mature, intelligent and especially *female* adult thinks.

And to make sure that does happen, I will NOT have those type of discussions (let alone serious life issues) with her kneeling or sitting at my feet or hands bound or anything likely to push her into a submissive headspace.

My relationships are always D/s power exchange based. But r/l says there are times I don't want or desire her to defer to my will. The fact is I do NOT know it all (and you may not quote me on that... lol) and I'd hope my ideal submissive partner could fill in those gaps when called upon - or at least try to.

Focus.

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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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Post #: 21

RE: Mind Control - 10/2/2010 6:25:47 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

It's all about the *right* headspace...!

If I were having that particular r/l issues type convo with my girl, she would NOT be sitting at my feet. There's a time and place for D/s just as there is for us to be equal, mature adults.

For me, you're describing the latter....

Focus.

I have to admit Focus, I'm kinda surprised by your answer.

For us the d/s is always present no matter what the conversation. I am always at his feet, no matter what we are speaking about. Now that does not mean he doesn't allow me to make a decision about something on my own and we don't discuss things out like two mature adults, but in the end he is allowing me that and if he wanted to change my decision he has that right.

There is never a moment in our lives where he is not the one with the power.

I've had two subs in my life who, when I did ask an opinion on something mundane (like what colour to paint a room, for eg), would default to a "whatever you want/think" mindset.... All very well and "subby" etc - but bloody annoying and exasperating, too!

Agreed. This happens fairly often with subs. I suspect it only has everything to do with the slave mindset and comes about as a result of the 24/7 exchange, or to be more specific, has a lot to do with the type of people who become slaves in the first place, that certain tendency to defer to that one specific party...
Personally I think its funny. It gives me the option of doing what I laid out before (I gave an order, now obey), or, even better, it gives me a great needle to twist...
Me-Whats on your mind?
Her-Nothing.
Me-What do you think of this?
Her-Nothing.
Me-Got any thoughts re X,Y,Z?
Her-No.
Me-Aha, further proof that slaves are, in sooth, mindless, brainless holes that exist only to be taken and fucked. Well, since conversation is finished, crawl on over there and get me that cane. Grab the pliers while you're at it.
Her-Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

< Message edited by Kana -- 10/2/2010 6:29:14 PM >

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Post #: 22

RE: Mind Control - 10/2/2010 6:58:58 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I was curious what methods others use to maintain themselves while having to function in a slight opposing mindset. He had his ways. I am hoping to hear about others' ways. Are there things your dominant partner can do to support your dynamic when you have to function in a more practical and/or dominant manner? What things can your submissive partner do to help support the dynamic when you have to function in a more practical and/or submissive manner (think like at work dealing with a boss or demanding client)?

Greetings lovingpet,

In my opinion you're not operating from an opposing mindset, but serving the relationship by offering constructive feedback that could prove beneficial. If you're focused on how to do so from a designated role rather than trust that you are the role (doing versus being/becoming) you'll confront supposed imbalances like these. It divides the mind and creates compartmentalized thought when the ideal is a unification of the divergent parts instead. While the hat displayed may differ according to purpose and/or necessity, the contents beneath remain the same. It isn't a matter of what you "can" do but the recognition that you are a supporting party and merely highlighting a different aspect of yourself as the situation dictates.

And welcome back. It's good to see you again. :)

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

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Post #: 23