KneelingSub25
Posts: 63
Joined: 12/9/2006
From: New York City
Status: offline
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I would like to say a few words about some of the women I've encountered on this site. A disclaimer first: I am not doing this to express outrage over perceived slights. I also refuse to generalize, so you won't find me drawing wider implications from what I have experienced.
My complex feelings on the matter are more akin to disappointment than to resentment. As such, you won't find me singling out women by name. Doing so would be unseemly and counterproductive.
I will say this: of the several years that I have been on this site, I've met many women who were interested in neither friendships nor relationships.
Instead, they were interested in playing a game. The game involved seeing what they could get from the other person.
Sometimes this game involved getting money. Very often it involved just trying to get a reaction, or non-reaction, from the other person.
Typically the game involved the implementation of various tests or measures with which to supposedly "evaluate" the merits of a man who was quite obviously approaching them in earnest.
Quite often these experiments involved seeing how well (or poorly) the man would respond to obvious provocations. In other words, how far would the man be willing to "go" in order to continue the game?
Would he respond in kind? Would he pretend to ignore the provocations? Would he show even greater devotion? Would he be willing to silently endure the degrading treatment?
Of course, from the woman's perspective, there is no "right" way for the man to play the game. The point of the game, after all, is not to discover the strengths of the man but to reveal his weaknesses.
If the man were to demonstrate greater devotion, this would only "prove" that the man is spineless and undiscriminating.
If the man were to pretend to ignore the provocations, this would suggest that the man is unperceptive, uninteresting, or cowardly.
If the man were to respond in kind, this would imply that the man is violent or emotionally unstable.
If the man silently endures the treatment, then it becomes a test to see how long the man can "take it" before breaking, or before the woman loses interest.
If you are one of the women who has been, or is currently, playing these kinds of games, ostensibly to weed out the "unfit," I believe you should seriously reconsider the utility of your methods.
Please ask yourselves whether you have ever encountered men in your lives who have played these kinds of games with women. Were these healthy men? Were these healthy interactions? What kind of relationship or friendship could possibly come out of this kind of behavior?
I believe that many women on here have been hurt by men in the past. They are playing these filtering games to protect themselves from making the same mistakes in the future.
Instead of immediately trying to find out whether a man possesses the same personality flaws as the unhealthy men in your past, why not let the process of getting to know the man progress naturally?
A great many of you are unwittingly throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
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