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RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:10:13 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25

Instead, I am referring specifically to women on Collar Me who believe they must subject a submissive to a series of "tests" or "challenges," if you will, to see if he is up to snuff. 



Thank you for answering my question.  As to the quote above, when you began speaking with these women that posed "tests" or "challenges", what was your purpose in doing so?  Were/are you looking for someone to simply scene with...play with...or were/are you looking for something based on a relationship that could develop over time?

(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:11:07 PM   
KneelingSub25


Posts: 63
Joined: 12/9/2006
From: New York City
Status: offline 		Thank you so much, Whiplash.  You understand perfectly what I was trying to convey, which wasn't resentment, bitterness, or "whining," but merely exasperation over how much these women are missing out.  

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:13:46 PM   
KneelingSub25


Posts: 63
Joined: 12/9/2006
From: New York City
Status: offline 		Something based on a relationship over time.  If I wanted to scene with someone, I would simply pay for it.  

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:20:25 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		ive read the OPs profile and its to the point - nothing that would invite idiots along at all.

OP i would learn how to use the block button and narrow youre availability to people who treat you like a person and not a performing monkey.

dont lose heart is all. xx

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:23:03 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		It has been my experience that people, male or female, who demand some sort of "proof" of a person's willingness to submit prior to any sort of dynamic or agreement usually are playing some sort of game.  However, the person who submits to prove themselves, again...before any sort of dynamic or agreement (heck, even a face to face meeting) takes place is equally guilty of game playing.

You say you're "exasperated over how much these women are missing out" but maybe the point is that it's not your place to feel that way.  I read exasperation in your words but I don't believe it comes only from this place of helpfulness or concern.


(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:24:26 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		It's the internet. It is not like face to face. If you can tone down the whining a bit, stay here and post. You can at least get a feel for who people are here on the boards.

Then you go and meet them. Just like on a real date and shit.

Anyone can be anything here. Not so easy when you are in the same room with them.

_____________________________

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(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:29:32 PM   
KneelingSub25


Posts: 63
Joined: 12/9/2006
From: New York City
Status: offline 		I am inclined to agree with you, BonesFromAsh.  Maybe there IS indeed an underlying selfish motive on my part for wanting them to stop playing the game.  Maybe it's not my place to criticize them on such grounds (especially when I am acting as an enabler by indulging them), but none of this takes away from my earlier point that women who engage in this kind of superficial "filtering" are not really benefiting anyone, least of all themselves.  

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:42:18 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25

I am inclined to agree with you, BonesFromAsh.  Maybe there IS indeed an underlying selfish motive on my part for wanting them to stop playing the game.  Maybe it's not my place to criticize them on such grounds (especially when I am acting as an enabler by indulging them), but none of this takes away from my earlier point that women who engage in this kind of superficial "filtering" are not really benefiting anyone, least of all themselves.  


Are you sure about that?  Without an enabler, would these people (notice I said people...men are just as guilty of this sort of game as women are) be able to continue to play? 

Wouldn't your time be better spent focusing on developing a healthy relationship instead of fixing someone before you've even met her?  You really are the common denominator in this equation.

(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:45:39 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Been down the "bad game" path a couple of times in real life, made some silly mistakes like trusting and loving the wrong person and paid the price (the first one all bar bankrupted me). Learned by my mistakes and rediscovered something I already knew. All of life is a game. As Shakespeare said, "All the world is a stage and we are the players on it".. So true., So for the OP a word of advise:

"Play the game, play your game or change the game rules to the ones you want. Make others play your game in other words and refuse to play theirs or by their rules".

I live my life my way, some people hate me, some love me, some ignore me, some people fear me and some people trust me. The ones who love and trust me are pure gems and worth the love and care I have to give.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:59:12 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint
What is relevant to this discussion is what is common between you and all these gamers you seem to attract. It's YOU. Every time it's YOU who has to decide if this person is what you are seeking.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

~FR~
Wow. i've met some really weird and annoying men on here ,too, so i can understand your frustration up to a point. But i don't get on the boards whining & griping about them, telling them to change. Just a quick observation.....the common denominator in those encounters is.......OMG! You!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh
You really are the common denominator in this equation.

hmmmm There seems to be a commonality in what some of the people are saying..........

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 4:59:37 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25

I am inclined to agree with you, BonesFromAsh.  Maybe there IS indeed an underlying selfish motive on my part for wanting them to stop playing the game.  Maybe it's not my place to criticize them on such grounds (especially when I am acting as an enabler by indulging them), but none of this takes away from my earlier point that women who engage in this kind of superficial "filtering" are not really benefiting anyone, least of all themselves.  


Are you sure about that?  Without an enabler, would these people (notice I said people...men are just as guilty of this sort of game as women are) be able to continue to play? 

Wouldn't your time be better spent focusing on developing a healthy relationship instead of fixing someone before you've even met her?  You really are the common denominator in this equation.

Seconded.

This is the exact thing.  You are consenting to play the game.  Without you, there is no game or they play it with someone else.  Did you have the same issue when meeting folks in person?  If you did, you just don't meet with them anymore.

Like it or not, the common denominator in your experience is you.  Change your methods.  Improve your profile.  Refine your searching techniques.  From your post, there is no other conclusion to draw than what you are doing in some of these cases isn't working for you.  Take what does work and chuck the rest.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 5:16:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		OP, and you've never encountered this in real life? So how is this different? Did you really expect nothing but joy/joy and open arms? Because if so, your naivete is showing.

Some people are manipulative. Some people are so armored against pain that they don't let anyone else in until they've tested them exhaustively. So what? You don't like people like that, don't talk to them. But kiddo, you'll meet them in every office, in every PTA meeting, in every church group, and so on.

Really want to avoid them? Go live in a cave and never talk to anyone else.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 5:41:46 PM   
KneelingSub25


Posts: 63
Joined: 12/9/2006
From: New York City
Status: offline 		That's where I'm headed, babe. :D 

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 6:00:45 PM   
LadyCimarron


Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline 		I have to ask. What kind of tests or challenges could someone possibly have you doing online? I mean, I require a pic and a great deal of conversation and if they have a cam its a real plus, but all of my time is spent getting to know them until we ready for a first meeting. Could you give some examples of "tests" and "challenges" that some people are requiring?

(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The Game - 6/21/2010 9:41:05 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Pot, you are calling the kettle black.

How's that workin' for ya? 


Also, probably a good percentage of these fellow game players are just that. Fellows. Women can get someone to run games on very easily in realtime, just generally speaking. We don't need to jerk people's chains online, when its so easy to do it in person.

_____________________________

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(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The Game - 6/22/2010 5:42:16 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25

Whining?  Hardly.  Just incisive commentary. 


Since when is pointing out the obvious incisive?


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The Game - 6/22/2010 6:36:44 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelingSub25

Given that you are admittedly "insane," perhaps I should take that as a compliment.  


The little insane symbol is basically something the site gives because of the amount of posts made on the boards.




_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to KneelingSub25)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The Game - 6/22/2010 6:40:59 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron

I have to ask. What kind of tests or challenges could someone possibly have you doing online? I mean, I require a pic and a great deal of conversation and if they have a cam its a real plus, but all of my time is spent getting to know them until we ready for a first meeting. Could you give some examples of "tests" and "challenges" that some people are requiring?


I had a dom email me and demand I get a web cam and send him money on pay pal to prove I was real and deserved him. I pointed out the I wasn't looking, I was gay and I never send money to anyone online for any reason. He never wrote back, what a surprise


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to LadyCimarron)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The Game - 6/22/2010 6:53:14 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Everyone has some sort of testing procedure when dealing with online situations and even in real life. I know I do and I am not afraid to admit it, even around here! (You scary people you!)

Not every testing procedure is an unhealthy one or one that is a game. OP, don't you test people in your life? Don't you see red flags... like the gamer type testing or evaluation? Don't you want to know the sincerity of a person who has just entered your life?

Some of my testing is looking to see how much interest they take in me and my life. How they respond to different things and if I hear one story one day and a changed story the next. I will go so far as to expect someone interested in me to give me a certain amount of time or focus and do pay attention to what time those times of contact come at. I don't care to ask for money or things for myself, but will pay attention to whether he has paid his child support, how he talks about former partners and things of that nature.

We all test in some way. The difference in testing can be the difference in intent and anyone who takes seriously someone asking someone to prove themselves in a financial way... or gets offended in a personal manner over it... is the one I would worry about. Simply because a gamer or scammer shouldn't be taken personally or even compared to a personal relationship even at the start. The gamer/scammer are easy to see... so what makes the person who views a gamer or scammer personally and gets upset... that is harder to see. Please explain that to me.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 6/22/2010 7:07:29 AM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The Game - 6/22/2010 7:17:07 AM   
LadyCimarron


Posts: 625
Joined: 12/29/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I had a dom email me and demand I get a web cam and send him money on pay pal to prove I was real and deserved him. I pointed out the I wasn't looking, I was gay and I never send money to anyone online for any reason. He never wrote back, what a surprise



Thank you for showing us that it is not as hard to spot a scammer as some make it out to be. The owners of this website all but beg us to please not send money to people we meet online. If someone does not heed that warning, it is no fault but their own if they get taken advantage of.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 40
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