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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 4:18:07 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		Borrow 80,000 ants from WWS at the picnic.  They can carry 1000 times their own body weight (or something close to that).  Train the ants to carry the bags for you.
 
It's storming, and I need to go to the store.  I hate carrying umbrellas, though, so how do I get from car to store without getting soaked?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to SavageFaerie)
Profile   Post #: 1461
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 5:40:32 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Get yourself one of those umbrellas hats not only will you stay dry but it will make you sexier, and as sexy as you are thats hard to do.

I really want to bring my Jar of fire ants to the picnic but I'm not into having a flyswatter used on me. So how can I bring the ants and not have to worry about the flyswatter?

_____________________________

WWS

You look like two miles of bad road ~Foghorn Leghorn~

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1462
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 8:26:29 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I really want to bring my Jar of fire ants to the picnic but I'm not into having a flyswatter used on me. So how can I bring the ants and not have to worry about the flyswatter?


This is so easy that I am shocked you didn't think of it. You dress up as a fire ant queen. You shove all the fire ants up your ass. When you get to the picnic you just "lay your brood" and no one will attack you with a flyswatter.

OK, I called 1-800-DIAL -A- NERD and they told me to go soak my head. Will this really fix my computer?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1463
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 8:33:03 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

OK, I called 1-800-DIAL -A- NERD and they told me to go soak my head. Will this really fix my computer?


Since you was told to CAll 1-800-GeekSquad No it will not Fix your computer it will just make you Lord of the nerds.

I need to go to bed so I can get up at 5:30 and I really do need the beauty sleep, but I don't feel like it. what should I do?

_____________________________

WWS

You look like two miles of bad road ~Foghorn Leghorn~

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1464
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 8:37:18 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Stay up and dont look in the mirror in the morning..

My head is to small for adult size headphones, what should I do to keep them on?

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1465
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 8:38:53 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I need to go to bed so I can get up at 5:30 and I really do need the beauty sleep, but I don't feel like it. what should I do?

You should stay on the CM forums for another seven hours, then run six miles, hit the shower and load up on fourteen cups of Starbucks coffee.  Who needs sleep?
 
quote:

My head is to small for adult size headphones, what should I do to keep them on?


Easy... duct tape.  I hear orange is a good color for duct tape, too.  Find a Schneider driver and ask him to give you some.

I took WWS's advice and wore the umbrella hat to the grocery store.  However, he told me it would make me sexier, but all it did was make me look like a giant dork.  How should I punish him for talking me into wearing that stupid hat?

< Message edited by Evanesce -- 7/27/2006 8:41:17 PM >

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1466
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 8:46:05 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I took WWS's advice and wore the umbrella hat to the grocery store.  However, he told me it would make me sexier, but all it did was make me look like a giant dork.  How should I punish him for talking me into wearing that stupid hat?


Giant dorks can be sexy... in a giant, dorky kind of way... sort of. But if you feel that you must punish him, then when he shoves the fire ants up his ass, Krazy Glue his ass cheeks together.

OK... I called 1-800-GeekSquad and they told me to go soak my head. I told them that I did and that I was now Lord of the Nerds. They hung up on me and my computer is still not fixed. Now what should I do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1467
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 8:48:40 PM   
mstrj69


Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline 		Who wore the stupid hat and who really needs or wants to be punished?

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1468
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 8:56:51 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Get a small Dominant hamster and send it in fully cocked and loaded....those missing sub files may just need some dicipline.

I tried the ant trick on moving the cemented bags....didnt work..how do I grow muscles over night so I can carry them to the truck to take them to the dump tomorrow?

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1469
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 9:00:42 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I tried the ant trick on moving the cemented bags....didnt work..how do I grow muscles over night so I can carry them to the truck to take them to the dump tomorrow?


Flirt really heavily with all the guys on the CM forum.  Their muscles will grow, and they'll do the lifting for you. 
 
How should I explain to that guy above you that he's not playing the game right, and still remain appropriately (cough, cough) "submissive?"  hehehehe

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to SavageFaerie)
Profile   Post #: 1470
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 9:04:33 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

How should I explain to that guy above you that he's not playing the game right, and still remain appropriately (cough, cough) "submissive?"  hehehehe


No need to be nice just hit switch mode and tell him to read how it works and not play the fool.


I'm going to bed and will be out of the loop tomorrow when I get up. how do I sleep and stay in the loop?

_____________________________

WWS

You look like two miles of bad road ~Foghorn Leghorn~

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 1471
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 9:17:01 PM   
VandalHeart


Posts: 1333
Joined: 9/12/2004
Status: offline 		Plug an ethernet cable into your ear while you sleep.  Hey, osmosis works for high school students, it might work for you.

I want to talk to chantrea, but she doesn't seem to be posting.  How do I get her attention?

_____________________________

I ask for so little. Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.
--King Jarenth of the Goblins, Labyrinth

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1472
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 9:28:48 PM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Send her an email with lots and lots of dancing bananas.  Everyone around here likes the dancing bananas, expecially Qguage.  Actually, come to think of it, when you send her the daning bananas, send him some too.  Everyone needs a best friend, and he will want to be yours for that act of thoughtfullness.


I can't seem to behave today, and I keep getting in trouble, what should I do?



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to VandalHeart)
Profile   Post #: 1473
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/27/2006 10:13:26 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Why go skinny dipping of course....who cares after that?

I just blew the previous advise on getting the concrete moved by flirting with Cm males...what the hell do I do now?

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 1474
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/28/2006 12:26:02 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I just blew the previous advise on getting the concrete moved by flirting with Cm males...what the hell do I do now?


Well, what you do is you dig around the bags of concrete, then you push the bags into the holes and fill up the holes. If that doesn't work, then take the paper off of the bags and leave them there and tell them that you spent $50,000 to have a French sculpter named Pierre make them for you. It breaks your heart but they must be left with the house. Don't forget to remind them that they are worth $50,000 and that you are GIVING away this fine artwork.

It is raining off and on today. I really need something to entertain myself. Thoughts?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to SavageFaerie)
Profile   Post #: 1475
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/28/2006 1:36:51 PM   
SavageFaerie


Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I dug the whole and fell in so went to plan B, just showed the house and it was a hit Thanks!!!!

Get out in the rain....and go through all the alleys looking for the cat with no name...once found take said raggedy cat and go up to NYC and have Breakfest at Tiffanys and get an engaved diamond collar with no name on it.  This should wile away the afternoon. If this isnt an option put your finger on a name in the phone book, call and tell them you are bored and need to discuss your need to pull a woman by the hair and beat the chit out of her...this should keep you busy for a while....and might introduce someone into the lifestyle as well.

Okay the next showing is not until 11am tomorrow what should I do till then?

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 1476
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/28/2006 1:50:41 PM   
WayWardSoul


Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Invite everyone you know for a party, call all the radio stations and have them help spread the word on the party also.

I would like to give this sexyfaerie here on CM a flogging, but I don't feel she wants anything to do with that from me what should I do?

_____________________________

WWS

You look like two miles of bad road ~Foghorn Leghorn~

(in reply to SavageFaerie)
Profile   Post #: 1477
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/29/2006 12:30:57 PM   
ArtimisBlack


Posts: 154
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Tie her down and flog her anyway. Then if she's pissed off, let her tie you up and flog you.

My car was towed by mistake but they may still make me pay the $300 towing fee and whatever other fees they can come up with. I don't have that kind of money (broke college student in nyc syndrome) so what do I do?


_____________________________

I wanted to put in my 2 cents but I only have a dollar. Do you have change?

The pain is free. Do not pick the scab.

(in reply to WayWardSoul)
Profile   Post #: 1478
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/29/2006 12:34:07 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Do a plea bargain - you'll report 10 other cars they can tow within 2 weeks if they give you yours for free.

I'm addicted to CM.  How do I break the addiction?

Yours,


benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to ArtimisBlack)
Profile   Post #: 1479
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 7/29/2006 12:37:45 PM   
ArtimisBlack


Posts: 154
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		Pee on your computer until it shorts out then go play fetch with your modem.
 
I want to make more money, but to do so I would need to change jobs. I love my job and the people I work for, but they can't afford to give me the raise I would need. What do I do?

_____________________________

I wanted to put in my 2 cents but I only have a dollar. Do you have change?

The pain is free. Do not pick the scab.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 1480
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