RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/28/2006 7:17:29 PM)
Figure out what rules you can break without getting in trouble - I suggest killing someone tongue firmly in cheek I constantly forget to eat when I need to. How can this be fixed?

SissySean -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/28/2006 7:23:20 PM)
Start shooting heroin, you'll lose your appitite. I am out of vodka and the stores are closed, what shall I do?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 12:41:58 AM)
Steal vodka from a neighbor, even if they're all gone on vacation. My hands are cold from long periods of time in front of a computer. What's the best way to warm them up?

CH3CH2OH -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 1:21:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple Steal vodka from a neighbor, even if they're all gone on vacation. YES. My hands are cold from long periods of time in front of a computer. What's the best way to warm them up? Well, there's always taking the Al Bundy approach to things. If that's not acceptable, find some free porn and do what you can to warm up. No, this does not involve hot chocolate and marshmallows, but it could. Be creative.

MistressYlwa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 6:50:52 AM)
quote: My hands are cold from long periods of time in front of a computer. What's the best way to warm them up? Sit on them! Question: I work on the computer all the time. How do I get my work done when my hands are always getting cold and I keep having to sit on them to warm them up?

pinkkeith -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 6:58:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressYlwa I work on the computer all the time. How do I get my work done when my hands are always getting cold and I keep having to sit on them to warm them up? Get a really long pen and put it in your mouth. Peck away at the keys on the keyboard with the pen. What is the best way to greet a coworker in the morning?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 7:01:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinkkeith What is the best way to greet a coworker in the morning? Respect in the workplace is important. I suggest a punch on the nose, followed up by a headslam into the nearest hard surface. You wont get any shit after that. I'm up on six counts of assault and have lost my job. What's my next move (after the penitentiary) E

FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 8:10:49 AM)
Claim JSA, then claim an in growing toenail disability, buy your council house for 50p and sell it for £250,000 and move into property development earning yourself your first million in the buy to let market, which is all about a bunch of rich people getting richer. Having a real job is for mugs they tell me. I’ve decided to take CalliopePurple’s earlier advice how can I track him down by his kitchen cabinets?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 1:30:23 PM)
You can recognize my cabinets because they're usually empty. The clean dishes are in the dishwasher. I have no desire to clean, but my room is kinda messy. What should I do?

Lorelei115 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 1:36:33 PM)
Bring in a couple goats to eat everything. I cant seem to wean myself off my caffeine addiction. Any ideas?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 3:24:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lorelei115 I cant seem to wean myself off my caffeine addiction. Any ideas? Cocaine; you get a better high, and wont be able to afford coffee, even if you think about coffee or anything else again. I drink 20-30 cups of coffee a day; how can I afford this habit, without giving up my cocaine addiction? E

Musicmystery -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 3:49:14 PM)
As long as it's only for a day, there's no problem. If I offer people a penny for their thoughts, and then put in my two cents worth, how do I get back the extra change?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/29/2006 6:29:01 PM)
Get it from their couch cushions. I'm certain that's where all the extra change disappears to. I love chili, but I'm allergic to anything spicy. How can I enjoy this fine meal?

Bluebird -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/31/2006 1:46:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple I love chili, but I'm allergic to anything spicy. How can I enjoy this fine meal? Take a few benedryl before eating, and enjoy a beer with your chili. When you finally wake up, any allergic reaction will have passed. Oh, and make sure to put on a Depends before you fall asleep! I have very vivid dreams, but I have no control over them. How can I target them to be pleasure-oriented rather than stress-oriented?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/31/2006 6:32:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bluebird I have very vivid dreams, but I have no control over them. How can I target them to be pleasure-oriented rather than stress-oriented? Heroin; its the answer to so many problems; flu, chills, dieting and bad dreams. I recommend it for any problem in life, because it solves the problem of life. I'm under investigation by the DEA for recommending drugs so often in this thread. What do I do to throw them off the scent? E

canupleaseme -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/31/2006 6:45:39 AM)
Slyly get them all addicted and then they wont care !!! i have to go to a family party. They are all really boring and its not much fun. How can i liven it up??

FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/31/2006 9:22:02 AM)
Pretend you have a home video of a family event to show and then screen a porn film instead. All my solutions to people’s problems seem to require the use of Porn films in some way how can I get help for this obsession?

Bluebird -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/31/2006 9:22:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: canupleaseme i have to go to a family party. They are all really boring and its not much fun. How can i liven it up??_____________________________ blissfully happy with my new partner :):):) Do a public scene with your new partner at the party - that should get the conversation going! My Christmas tree is now very dry, but I like to leave it up until 12th Night. How should I keep it from catching on fire?

FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/31/2006 9:26:28 AM)
Spray the tree with intumescent paint. I have to go back to work on Tuesday and no one will believe it if I take the day off sick so how can I extend the holiday spirit so to speak?

MmakeMme -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/31/2006 11:57:35 AM)
Get really drunk before you go in. I'm a little (lot) randy with no playmate in sight. What ever shall I do about it?

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