RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/21/2006 6:11:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple What should I do to motivate myself to actually go outside, despite the chill and constant threat of rain? Set fire to your house. Help! Calliope's house is on fire. (again!) How can we stop this wanton pyromania?

Lorelei115 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/21/2006 10:33:26 PM)
Build the next house at the bottom of a lake. Sometimes my computer makes me angry. How do I calm down when it flashes me the blue screen of death???

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/21/2006 10:51:14 PM)
Repercussive therapy (or in laymans terms, hit it) I have been sneezing like mad for 3 days now. What can I do to stop?

dcnovice -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/21/2006 10:53:04 PM)
Lorelei: Dig out that printout of error message haikus. The beauty of the poetry will soothe you. DV: Cut off your nose. What should I get my parents for Christmas? I'm getting desperate! (Didn't this just happen in another thread too?)

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/22/2006 3:06:45 AM)
Something from the clearance bin at Wal-Mart. If they don't like it, they can take it back for a gift card. I've been having trouble getting to sleep lately. How can I make my mind shut down faster?

FullCircle -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/22/2006 4:20:15 PM)
Install the latest brain updates from Microsoft or use a hammer. How can I best avoid my family this Christmas? They turn up at the most inconvenient moments.

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/22/2006 4:41:29 PM)
place crime scene tape acrossed your front door

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/22/2006 9:51:12 PM)
and?

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/23/2006 2:31:44 PM)
And hope they got stranded in Denver. I have an obsession with versions of the 12 Days of Christmas. What can I do to control it?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/23/2006 2:42:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple I have an obsession with versions of the 12 Days of Christmas. What can I do to control it? Any anti-psychotic drug should do the trick. Take one tablet whilst sitting in a pear tree on the first day, two on the second day and so on till you finish the course. How do we stop CP from overdosing by the time the 12th day of Xmas rolls round? E

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/23/2006 3:00:20 PM)
quote: How do we stop CP from overdosing by the time the 12th day of Xmas rolls round? Cancel the 5th of January. What should we plan for the 6th of January?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/23/2006 3:08:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Petruchio . What should we plan for the 6th of January? Orthodox Christmas? I fancy a bit of iconoclasty down the local church tomorrow night. What should I destroy first? E

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/23/2006 4:22:05 PM)
The baby Jesus. Then you need to have sex on the altar.\ Sex on an altar sounds fun. How can I make the fantasy a reality?

Dragonskiss72 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/23/2006 8:10:21 PM)
befriend a local vicar I've been wrapping xmas presents all day only to discover that I forgot to put tags on some of them. How do I ensure that they go to the right people without unwrapping/re-wrapping the damn things again??

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/23/2006 8:28:34 PM)
Put tags on them randomly and pray. How can I get out of buying my father a Christmas/birthday present?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/23/2006 10:12:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple How can I get out of buying my father a Christmas/birthday present? As a psychopath, I'd say kill him, and smear the blood on the walls, laughing like a maniac.... My axe is blunt, and I have plans for tomorrow night, when its dark and people are walking in the shadows. God told me to do it. Whats the best way to sharpen a 6 inch bringer of vengeance? E

mnottertail -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/23/2006 10:15:12 PM)
Sharpen it on the blunt skulls. The Coneheads

CalliopePurple -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/24/2006 12:54:08 AM)
The Coneheads have apparently stolen Ron's brain. How can we get it back?

Petruchio -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/24/2006 1:02:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple The Coneheads have apparently stolen Ron's brain. How can we get it back? I think Madonna hid it in that conical bra she used to wear. Does Madonna have conical tits? And if so, how do you know? Enquiring minds want to know.

Fitznicely -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (12/24/2006 2:45:46 AM)
Without that bra, I get the distinct impression they'd be closer to her bellybutton than her chin these days. How do I know? Well, she's nearly fifty y'know. Without surgery, things tend to succumb to gravity.... I need to be supervising two manic kids, putting self-assembly toys together, freeing stuff from iron-hard packaging, fitting batteries, fielding wellmeaning phonecalls from relatives AND cooking a turkey dinner at the same time tomorrow morning. HELP!

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