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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/17/2006 10:42:10 PM

LadyFrancesca

Posts: 411
Joined: 12/3/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

Shave the rest off and get a wig.

My vanilla folks found my whip collection and want an explanation... what do I say (and no, I can't say the whips are for animals... I'm not in the country).

Tell them that you are into BDSM.

I have a HUGE crush on George Clooney. What should I do?

(in reply to Mikal)

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Post #: 2541

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/17/2006 11:45:14 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

My boy says: Transfer the crush to benji - he may be just as unattainable, but at least he'll return your messages.

My breasts seem to be miraculously getting larger and firmer. I'm not pregnant, I didn't get implants, and I'm not getting fat. What's happening to me?

< Message edited by LadySeraphina -- 11/17/2006 11:49:10 PM >

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Post #: 2542

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/17/2006 11:59:01 PM

Mikal

Posts: 3673
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God loves you, and it's showing.

I've decided I want a male sub, but there are so many on this site to choose from.... how do I pick just one????

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Post #: 2543

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 1:42:52 AM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

Invite them all round, close your eyes and use the tried and tested pin-sticking method

I've decided to take on a house girl to get rid of the huge pile of dishes and laundry that's built up. Is a cage acceptable, or should I let her have the room under the stairs?

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Post #: 2544

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 5:23:30 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

I've decided to take on a house girl to get rid of the huge pile of dishes and laundry that's built up. Is a cage acceptable, or should I let her have the room under the stairs?

Youre going about this all wrong. Self reliance and independence are the hallmark of the successful dom, so you need to do them yourself before you can expect to govern someone else doing them. I suggest instead you phone 0800 WHIPLASH and order up a spiky heeled domme to provide encouragement to you.

No one is calling my domme ordering service (0800 WHIPLASH); how do I promote the business without spending too much?

E

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Post #: 2545

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 7:27:13 AM

Fitznicely

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
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Try mentioning your service in conversations on various discussion boards.

I keep getting an engaged tone. Help!

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Post #: 2546

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 7:55:26 AM

RubberWitch

Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
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Try hanging round at more single tone bars

My phone keeps dying. any tips for getting an xda working?

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Post #: 2547

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 9:53:09 AM

tade

Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
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Change the locks and only let it come in for dinner on Sundays once it has a job. Tough love...

All the pens in my house are out of ink and I need to write down "pens" on the grocery list... Help!!!

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Post #: 2548

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 10:57:26 AM

QuietDom

Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
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Write in your own blood. Add a little clause about your soul, and you can get the pens for free.

A religious group has been holding a protest outside my door for the last two weeks. What (short of mass murder) can I do about them?

(in reply to tade)

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Post #: 2549

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 11:04:28 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDom

A religious group has been holding a protest outside my door for the last two weeks. What (short of mass murder) can I do about them?

give them all coffee and cocoa, along with some finger sandwiches (no fingers please)... then stand on a soapbox while they're enjoying the goodies and tell them asll about your god... if you don't have a god, make one up using as many cliches as possible

i'm busy protesting in QuietDom's yard and he hasn't started serving snacks yet, and i need my coffee... what am i to do?

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 11/18/2006 11:05:06 AM >

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Post #: 2550

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 11:04:35 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDom

A religious group has been holding a protest outside my door for the last two weeks. What (short of mass murder) can I do about them?

Go and burglarise their homes, whilst theyre outside yours. If they complain, tell them it was their God's will and that their possessions were only obstacles to their relationship with their Lord.

I too have the need to maim, torture and kill religious fundamentalists. Whats the most fun and entertaining way to do this?
E

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Post #: 2551

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 11:06:07 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde
i'm busy protesting in QuietDomk's yard and he hasn't started serving snacks... what am i to do?

Get home quickly. I need help carrying your TV set to my car.

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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Post #: 2552

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 11:46:45 AM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
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If you really want my broken shit that bad, I'll carry it down for you.

I need to start packing but have no time with homework. What can i do?

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Post #: 2553

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/18/2006 1:51:04 PM

SohCahToa

Posts: 563
Joined: 3/17/2006
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Do a diploma course in packing at the University of Packaging. You know what they say two birds with one stone i.e. BIG stone.

I did a diploma at the University of Packaging with a module about Tetra Packs and why they have funny coloured symbols on the bottom. I left the University of Packaging with high hopes but every employer I go to refuses to recognise it. What can I do?

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Post #: 2554

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/19/2006 10:33:56 AM

QuietDom

Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
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Go to the campus bookstore, and buy a 100 linear foot x 20" roll of 80 gauge opaque cling wrap. Mummify potential employers to demonstrate the value of your diploma. Cut them free once you hear the words "You're hired." (probably a good idea to leave the mouth free for this purpose.)

I recently bought a 100 linear foot x 20" roll of 80 gauge opaque cling wrap, and I want to mummify someone. Where can I find a good Pharaoh in this day and age?

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Post #: 2555

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/19/2006 10:41:04 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuietDom
I recently bought a 100 linear foot x 20" roll of 80 gauge opaque cling wrap, and I want to mummify someone. Where can I find a good Pharaoh in this day and age?

Bypass the securtiy at the Metropolitan Museum of Art's ancient Egypt display.
They won't mind.

I'm out of milk in the house and don't feel like going to the store. What do I do?

(in reply to QuietDom)

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Post #: 2556

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/19/2006 11:09:37 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I'm out of milk in the house and don't feel like going to the store. What do I do?

Drink a gallon of post-fellatio splooge. It's white, and has protein in it.............close enough.

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Post #: 2557

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/19/2006 11:35:11 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
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Tre didnt post a question. What's the best way to encourage him to do so?

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Post #: 2558

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 11/19/2006 11:37:28 AM

TreSwank

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