RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 1:41:16 PM)
TGD - yes, and its something I need to know! Neither his mother nor I have ever had one LOL! E

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 1:52:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen My son is getting to the age when he needs to wash behind his foreskin. How does one best go about this? E ok... first the real advise... i'm guessing he's quite young, so get him a pump bottle of soap for sensitive skin.... basically just pull the skin back all the way, and with a little bit of soap and water in his hand just rub it clean... follow it up by basically cupping his hand and filling it with water and again rubbing the soap off... finish by wiping dry with a soft cloth or rag... this should be done whenever he uses the restroom, and when he gets to teenage years and sweats alot he shold do it even more regularly back to the really bad advise... take a cheese grater and get rid of all the stuff the doctor forgot... no more dirty foreskin Ma'am likes my nails long and sharp for when she wantsd her back scratched but when i scratch mine, it looks like i have been in a scene with someone else... how can i get rid of the scratches sooner?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 2:10:56 PM)
darchChylde - thanks for that. Sounds errr....... lovely. Wonder if we can find a rabbi who wouldnt mind doing some moonlighting? E

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 2:14:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde Ma'am likes my nails long and sharp for when she wantsd her back scratched but when i scratch mine, it looks like i have been in a scene with someone else... how can i get rid of the scratches sooner? Simple. Have your Lady whip you until weals appear. If done right, you wont want to risk scratching them - so no scratch marks. Adrian would scratch my back, but his nails are usually filthy. Whats the best way to make him wash them? E

tade -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 2:38:12 PM)
Make him chew Lava soap untill until he has a nice froth and the make him clean them with his teeth until you are happy. I've s meh w l st the " " n my keyb ard. What sh uld I replace it with?

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 2:49:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tade I've s meh w l st the " " n my keyb ard. What sh uld I replace it with? 'm ncred bly cur ous how you would lose the "o" on your keyboard, can't even mag ne how someth ng l ke that m ght happen... th nk you m ght l ke try ng replac ng the miss ng "o" w th an " " my imaginary friend doesn't believe in me anymore... how do i get him to understand that i'm just as real as he is?

tade -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 5:26:07 PM)
Kick him in the crotch until he gives in. I'm being stalked by imaginary masochists into genital torture. Help!!!

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/18/2006 10:28:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tade I'm being stalked by imaginary masochists into genital torture. Help!!! Take imaginary chastity belts to all of them. They get what they want, they stop bothering you. Be sure to keep the imaginary key somewhere safe. Genetic testing has revealed that I am not part of the same species as the rest of you, but some new development of evolution which possesses superior intellect. Whats the best way I can assimilate with you inferior types? E

bbwmaid4otkltr -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/18/2006 10:37:22 AM)
just saying hi

Yang4yin -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/18/2006 11:05:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bbwmaid4otkltr just saying hi A large gag properly secured will cure you from doing this. I'm having a hard time deciding what to do for lunch. What should I do?

willow06 -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/18/2006 12:07:33 PM)
You're obviously overly stressed by this lunch conundrum. To avoid an ulcer, you should never eat lunch again. My friend had trouble going to sleep last night due to a prolonged muscle twitch in her thigh. What should she do if it happens again?

ShyMistress -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/18/2006 12:45:51 PM)
Take a tensor bandage and wrap it really really tight until the toes go purple...she shouldn't feel anymore twitching! How do I fix a broken subby?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/18/2006 3:06:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShyMistress How do I fix a broken subby? Take him to the vets. They fix dogs and cats, so I'm sure they could fix him too. Mein subs are in the Atlantic. Was ist der best vay to sink ze British ships wit mein subs? E

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/18/2006 3:38:24 PM)
ah, a Das Kinky Boot Qvestion. Do not vorry about how many you lose to ze british, Der Yanks vill make up a story zat zey vere responsible. Und don't worry about all this sinking, unless it ist sinking about ze next vorld cup! I am govink to be schpeeking like zis for qvite a vile now. vot should I do?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/18/2006 3:53:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberWitch I am govink to be schpeeking like zis for qvite a vile now. vot should I do? schtart ein German domme telefon chat serwis und cash in on it. scheisse! Ich also haff ze same problem now. I also dewelop ze urge to build ein grosse panzer army. Wot should I do mit mein panzer? E

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/19/2006 1:09:14 AM)
OK, we have to stop this german accent thing. Here's how I did it... tell this joke A norse god may take on human form once every 100 years. if during this time he reveals his identity to a human, and they fall in love, he stays human, but immortal The great god of thunder had his day on earth, and pulled within 5 minutes of materialising. They went back to hers and spent 22 hours screwwing. every orrifice, every position, ceaseless. Its the best sex he's had since time immemorial, and he thinks this might be the girl for him, so he reveals his identity "I am Thor" "You're thor? You've jutht thyagged my arth and puthy about theventy timeth, my lipth are thwollen from blowjobth, my breaths ar thticky, how thor do you think I am?" Now I'm thtuck talking like thith. any thugethtionth?

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/19/2006 1:30:06 AM)
go to a hare-lip convention and be the queen of all that lisp i've got 10 pounds of spare barbed wire, 2 pounds of chocolate kisses, 3 packs of used post-its and a dozen long stem roses... i'm bored, what can i do?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/19/2006 3:12:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde i've got 10 pounds of spare barbed wire, 2 pounds of chocolate kisses, 3 packs of used post-its and a dozen long stem roses... i'm bored, what can i do? Throw it all in a heap, get Tracey Emin to take a piss on it, and sell it to Charles Saatchi for a cool million pounds. I hate modern art. What can I do to ensure the utter destruction of this overhyped trash? E

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/19/2006 8:31:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen I hate modern art. What can I do to ensure the utter destruction of this overhyped trash? E get naked, roll in baby oil then in multicolored glitter, and dance on camera in front of some of those British soldier types who are not supposed to move unless... then have someone post the video online... i doubt it will help with your destruction of modern art, but i'd love to see it i need to trim my nether region, but i don't have trimmers and my hands shake when i try to do anything involving too much manual dexterity... any tips?

WayWardSoul -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/19/2006 9:53:13 PM)
quote: i need to trim my nether region, but i don't have trimmers and my hands shake when i try to do anything involving too much manual dexterity... any tips? Just get some lighter fluid and light it on fire, no more hair to worry about. When I try to sleep in my truck at night someone always pulls up next to me and runs there motor all night so I can't sleep. How can I stop this?

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