RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/16/2006 1:13:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: willow06 One of my rabbits has recently started to nip at the other rabbit (again...). What should I do? Spit roast both of them and eat them from the skewer; no dishes to wash up and no biting rabbits any more. The animal protection people are out to get me. Where is the best place to hide? E

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/16/2006 2:19:00 AM)
Here, quick, in this penguin suit! This is all turning into a farce. How can we sell tickets?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/16/2006 4:13:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberWitch This is all turning into a farce. How can we sell tickets? Sex and cute animals are well known marketing tools. I suggest you dress in your best penguin suit and walk up and down the CM main street, handing them out to unwitting passersby. You can charge money, or just ask for fish - up to you. My penguin suit smells all fishy. Why is this? E

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/16/2006 5:21:20 AM)
I could answer this, but I would get so severely bitchslapped by a certain militant quota of the CM population Help, I'm being chased by militant lesbians, and they're wearing more comfortable shoes than me

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/16/2006 5:28:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberWitch Help, I'm being chased by militant lesbians, and they're wearing more comfortable shoes than me Quickly Robin! Use your lesbian deterrent Bat spray! or a bottle of aftershave will do the trick too. Shit, now they're chasing me too! Whats the best thing we should do, to avoid Milly Tant and her hordes, when wearing 3 inch heels? E

tade -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/16/2006 3:04:24 PM)
Fling those shoes like boomarangs. My wife's snoring is keeping me up at night. Earplugs don't work because then my heart beating is louder than she is. Thoughts???

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/16/2006 3:42:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tade My wife's snoring is keeping me up at night. Earplugs don't work because then my heart beating is louder than she is. Thoughts??? Smother the sound of the snoring with a pillow. Be sure to press down hard, until the snoring (and any flailing) stops, then relax and enjoy a good night's sleep. Do not try this on the very large guy you'll be sleeping with the following night in prison though - he wont appreciate it, and in any case, you'll need your pillow to bite on. Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Whats the best way to locate said gate and way, assuming I'm destined for hell, which I am? E

tade -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 3:07:00 AM)
Look for the flashing blue lights and Thank you for shopping at K-mart. I think I'm in love with myself. I can't seem to keep my hands off me, but I'm not sure whether I'm ready for a serious relationship. How can I tell without turning myself away if I'm wrong?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 4:07:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tade I think I'm in love with myself. I can't seem to keep my hands off me, but I'm not sure whether I'm ready for a serious relationship. How can I tell without turning myself away if I'm wrong? Rejection is an issue of course. But on the other hand, you could be missing out on a wonderful relationship with yourself. My advice would be to get it all out in the open, get a handle on the situation and work at it until it comes right. A long lost ex employee of mine showed up at the door, asking for her job back after she left me in the shit when she left unannounced last year. What should I tell her? E

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 5:52:49 AM)
point out that that situation is no longer vacant, but that assistant whip tester might be her thing, after a 2 week unpaid trial period I might be getting everything I want. so therefore am obviously scared shitless. what the hells wrong with me? J

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 7:20:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberWitch I might be getting everything I want. so therefore am obviously scared shitless. what the hells wrong with me? J You are demonstrating herd behaviour by being scared shitless. Since no one else gives a shit, you are emulating them out of the fear of not fitting in with the rest of us unhappy, dysfunctional types. Take a laxative. I dont think Rubberwitch likes me. Whats the best way I can get her to? E

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 7:57:08 AM)
send them cookies, or buy them coffee. and definately send them a message if you're ever planning to wander up to London. I come off snappy, bitchy and ruthless. How can I keep this up :) J

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 8:18:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberWitch I come off snappy, bitchy and ruthless. How can I keep this up :) J Youre missing one vital ingredient, that is arrogance. I could show you how to be arrogant, but obviously being arrogant, I dont talk to the likes of you! No one talks to me. What should I do to encourage conversation? E

RubberWitch -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 8:40:51 AM)
something about grandmothers and eggs springs to mind. anyway... Walk round with a sign saying "Ask me about anything but switching to our low duel fuel prices" I keep getting door to door salesmen, and am running out of places to hide the bodies. what should I do?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 9:21:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RubberWitch I keep getting door to door salesmen, and am running out of places to hide the bodies. what should I do? Get a cookbook and eat them. Meat is expensive these days, so not only will you solve the corpses dilmena, but you will also save money on food bills. Tastes like pork, apparently - not that I'd know or anything, honestly. My neighbour? Dont know, just disappeared one day.... Only Rubberwitch and I are continuing with this thread. How can we attract more interest in it? E

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 10:29:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen Only Rubberwitch and I are continuing with this thread. How can we attract more interest in it? E spend millions of dollars and get a commercial during the superbowl i'm uncircumcized and go commando... this morning i had a mishap... how do i explain it to my Lady?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 11:04:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde i'm uncircumcized and go commando... this morning i had a mishap... how do i explain it to my Lady? Dont. Just put them in the washing machine quickly, and repeat Potty Training 101. I hate rappers. Whats the best way for me to exterminate them? E

darchChylde -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 11:12:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen I hate rappers. Whats the best way for me to exterminate them? E i recommend luring them with gaudy shiny jewelry, and then open up a book containing the rules of grammar... i'm sure their heads will explode i want to beat my coworkers to death with a lead pipe, but there's no way to get all the witnesses... how should i make myself unappealing to Bubba when i get to prison?

LadyEllen -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 11:17:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde i want to beat my coworkers to death with a lead pipe, but there's no way to get all the witnesses... how should i make myself unappealing to Bubba when i get to prison? Impossible. Youre just too cute. I suggest learning to like the taste of a pillow in your mouth. My son is getting to the age when he needs to wash behind his foreskin. How does one best go about this? E

ToGiveDivine -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (10/17/2006 11:19:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyEllen quote: ORIGINAL: darchChylde i want to beat my coworkers to death with a lead pipe, but there's no way to get all the witnesses... how should i make myself unappealing to Bubba when i get to prison? Impossible. Youre just too cute. I suggest learning to like the taste of a pillow in your mouth. My son is getting to the age when he needs to wash behind his foreskin. How does one best go about this? E That is a question you just don't see everyday

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