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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/16/2006 1:13:15 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: willow06

One of my rabbits has recently started to nip at the other rabbit (again...).  What should I do?



Spit roast both of them and eat them from the skewer; no dishes to wash up and no biting rabbits any more.

The animal protection people are out to get me. Where is the best place to hide?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to willow06)
Profile   Post #: 2161
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/16/2006 2:19:00 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		Here, quick, in this penguin suit!

This is all turning into a farce. How can we sell tickets?

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2162
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/16/2006 4:13:45 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch
This is all turning into a farce. How can we sell tickets?


Sex and cute animals are well known marketing tools. I suggest you dress in your best penguin suit and walk up and down the CM main street, handing them out to unwitting passersby. You can charge money, or just ask for fish - up to you.

My penguin suit smells all fishy. Why is this?

E



_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2163
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/16/2006 5:21:20 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		I could answer this, but I would get so severely bitchslapped by a certain militant quota of the CM population

Help, I'm being chased by militant lesbians, and they're wearing more comfortable shoes than me

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2164
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/16/2006 5:28:38 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

Help, I'm being chased by militant lesbians, and they're wearing more comfortable shoes than me


Quickly Robin! Use your lesbian deterrent Bat spray! or a bottle of aftershave will do the trick too.

Shit, now they're chasing me too! Whats the best thing we should do, to avoid Milly Tant and her hordes, when wearing 3 inch heels?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2165
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/16/2006 3:04:24 PM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline 		Fling those shoes like boomarangs.

My wife's snoring is keeping me up at night. Earplugs don't work because then my heart beating is louder than she is. Thoughts???

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2166
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/16/2006 3:42:00 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tade
My wife's snoring is keeping me up at night. Earplugs don't work because then my heart beating is louder than she is. Thoughts???


Smother the sound of the snoring with a pillow. Be sure to press down hard, until the snoring (and any flailing) stops, then relax and enjoy a good night's sleep. Do not try this on the very large guy you'll be sleeping with the following night in prison though - he wont appreciate it, and in any case, you'll need your pillow to bite on.

Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. Whats the best way to locate said gate and way, assuming I'm destined for hell, which I am?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to tade)
Profile   Post #: 2167
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 3:07:00 AM   
tade


Posts: 663
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Tampa Bay, Florida
Status: offline 		Look for the flashing blue lights and Thank you  for shopping at K-mart.

I think I'm in love with myself. I can't seem to keep my hands off me, but I'm not sure whether I'm ready for a serious relationship. How can I tell without turning myself away if I'm wrong?

_____________________________

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson

It's a magical world Hobbes 'ole buddy. Let's go explorin'~ Calvin

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2168
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 4:07:41 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tade

I think I'm in love with myself. I can't seem to keep my hands off me, but I'm not sure whether I'm ready for a serious relationship. How can I tell without turning myself away if I'm wrong?


Rejection is an issue of course. But on the other hand, you could be missing out on a wonderful relationship with yourself. My advice would be to get it all out in the open, get a handle on the situation and work at it until it comes right.

A long lost ex employee of mine showed up at the door, asking for her job back after she left me in the shit when she left unannounced last year. What should I tell her?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to tade)
Profile   Post #: 2169
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 5:52:49 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		point out that that situation is no longer vacant, but that assistant whip tester might be her thing, after a 2 week unpaid trial period

I might be getting everything I want. so therefore am obviously scared shitless. what the hells wrong with me?
J

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2170
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 7:20:37 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

I might be getting everything I want. so therefore am obviously scared shitless. what the hells wrong with me?
J


You are demonstrating herd behaviour by being scared shitless. Since no one else gives a shit, you are emulating them out of the fear of not fitting in with the rest of us unhappy, dysfunctional types. Take a laxative.

I dont think Rubberwitch likes me. Whats the best way I can get her to?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2171
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 7:57:08 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		send them cookies, or buy them coffee. and definately send them a message if you're ever planning to wander up to London.

I come off snappy, bitchy and ruthless. How can I keep this up :)

J

_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2172
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 8:18:46 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

I come off snappy, bitchy and ruthless. How can I keep this up :)

J


Youre missing one vital ingredient, that is arrogance. I could show you how to be arrogant, but obviously being arrogant, I dont talk to the likes of you!

No one talks to me. What should I do to encourage conversation?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2173
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 8:40:51 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		something about grandmothers and eggs springs to mind.

anyway... Walk round with a sign saying "Ask me about anything but switching to our low duel fuel prices"

I keep getting door to door salesmen, and am running out of places to hide the bodies. what should I do?


_____________________________

Lets roleplay - I'll get the D20s
"Freud was...sorry if this is an over-generalisation...A coke addled kiddy-fiddler" Alan Moore
"A Lady must always remember her station in life - and be prepared to change at Acton Town"

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2174
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 9:21:20 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

I keep getting door to door salesmen, and am running out of places to hide the bodies. what should I do?



Get a cookbook and eat them. Meat is expensive these days, so not only will you solve the corpses dilmena, but you will also save money on food bills. Tastes like pork, apparently - not that I'd know or anything, honestly. My neighbour? Dont know, just disappeared one day....

Only Rubberwitch and I are continuing with this thread. How can we attract more interest in it?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 2175
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 10:29:38 AM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Only Rubberwitch and I are continuing with this thread. How can we attract more interest in it?

E


spend millions of dollars and get a commercial during the superbowl

i'm uncircumcized and go commando... this morning i had a mishap... how do i explain it to my Lady?

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 10/17/2006 10:31:14 AM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2176
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 11:04:14 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

i'm uncircumcized and go commando... this morning i had a mishap... how do i explain it to my Lady?


Dont. Just put them in the washing machine quickly, and repeat Potty Training 101.

I hate rappers. Whats the best way for me to exterminate them?

E



_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2177
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 11:12:22 AM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I hate rappers. Whats the best way for me to exterminate them?

E


i recommend luring them with gaudy shiny jewelry, and then open up a book containing the rules of grammar... i'm sure their heads will explode

i want to beat my coworkers to death with a lead pipe, but there's no way to get all the witnesses... how should i make myself unappealing to Bubba when i get to prison?

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2178
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 11:17:04 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

i want to beat my coworkers to death with a lead pipe, but there's no way to get all the witnesses... how should i make myself unappealing to Bubba when i get to prison?


Impossible. Youre just too cute. I suggest learning to like the taste of a pillow in your mouth.

My son is getting to the age when he needs to wash behind his foreskin. How does one best go about this?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 2179
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 10/17/2006 11:19:38 AM   
ToGiveDivine


Posts: 650
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

i want to beat my coworkers to death with a lead pipe, but there's no way to get all the witnesses... how should i make myself unappealing to Bubba when i get to prison?


Impossible. Youre just too cute. I suggest learning to like the taste of a pillow in your mouth.

My son is getting to the age when he needs to wash behind his foreskin. How does one best go about this?

E


That is a question you just don't see everyday

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 2180
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