RE: For those who like to play with fear

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RE: For those who like to play with fear - 5/23/2010 7:58:59 PM

Hawkwindblues

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quote:

If I'm reading past your poetic metaphor correctly, there are some strong similarities to my experience. My own capacity for violence without remorse is not connected to human anger at all. It's quieter than that, and clearer than that. There is a primal savagery to it, but it is not hot rage so much as interested desire and calm calculation. A lion has that same good natured, pleasant but pitiless hunger in his eyes when he stalks prey. It's just what we do, and it tastes good. Also it's fun

Thank you LadyNTrainer for you words. It is quite another way to describe it, but it is exactly the same, especially the "primal savegery" stroked a chord with me, as much as the "calm calculation".

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RE: For those who like to play with fear - 5/23/2010 9:43:24 PM

LPslittleclip

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fear and uncertainty respect and trust do i fear my Mistress as She said for most of the time no during play there is the uncertainty of what is comming next and what else may come the suprise of the sensation.i respect and trust Her to push me further than before. for me having adhd the singular focus in my mind of the play and only the play during the scene is something so elusive for me that i relish it and with it i go into space.

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RE: For those who like to play with fear - 5/29/2010 2:46:48 AM

BoundDragon

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I think reading the replies here the main thing is that there is a distinct difference between hurt and harm. Hurt is acceptable and even fun, harm is the point where is crosses the line and can cause permenant damage.

I enjoy pain quite a bit but not at the level quite a few in here can so to me although I know in no uncertain terms my Sir would not harm me, I do love to get the fear of a bit of hurt... which in turn pushes more of my buttons and means the amount pain I can take (enjoy) gets higher.

I love my Sir to have a dark streak, sometimes I see a little glint in his eye which makes me think he could be exceptionally sadistic. As yet this has not shown itself but I am certain it is there and that in itself gives me a little bit of a thrill.
Maybe one day I shall be lucky to see this side of him but until then I live in the sweet and wonderful anticipation of what he could be capable of.
I love fear of the unknown. It is something to be embraced and used to make you stronger and feel alive.

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RE: For those who like to play with fear - 5/30/2010 1:04:15 AM

AlexandraLynch

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As a dominant, in day to day life I tend to keep the velvet glove on. "Would you please, dear?" and other such politenesses, obvious careful consideration of the other person's needs and wants as well as my own, being easy to please, etc.

If I want to scare them, I take off the velvet glove, and become calculatingly cruel. Because when I considered your wants and your needs, likes and dislikes, I learned what really pushes your buttons, what comforts you, what really unsettles you. And then I use it right up to the edge of where, for a second, you think maybe I could be serious.

Yum.

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RE: For those who like to play with fear - 5/31/2010 4:31:12 AM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Nope, I know, not everyone is into the "fear factor"...this is kind of aimed at those who are though. I'm especially thinking of how trust could work against the fear in scenes like mind fucks, maybe even making it impossible.

We often hear "s" types say "I trust him/her completely and know that while he/she may hurt me, he/she will never harm me".

Considering this, how do you as a Dominant/Master/Top create the level of fear that you desire in your scenes? Or from the perspective of the "s" type, what is it that allows you to fear despite the high trust level?

I'm not sure what you mean by trust in this context.

In the event you mean trusting that the dominant will not see the scene through to its conclusion where fear moves to act.....then I'd say you can't have it both ways....you can't induce fear while your partner knows you wouldn't follow through on it.....there has to be an understanding that the dominant does have a sadistic streak and will act upon it....and it's that knowledge of the character of your partner.....knowing that given a certain mood....he or she does not simply 'play' fear.

Then when you talk of 'hurt' it's all very subjective isn't it........and really someone who is capable of taking what he or she needs both emotionally and physically while paying scant regard to the 'be gentle with your submissive' doctrine......needs a partner who views hurt/harm in a manner that leaves the door open for sadistic acts.....and doesn't see this as a barrier to a healthy and trusting relationship. I think someone who equates Sadism with harm/hurt is going to struggle to understand how two people can engage in what many will see as a bridge too far while maintaining a healthy and strong relationship. Horses for courses isn't it.

In sum.....I don't think you can play fear....it has to be real.....real being the experience of your partner being a bit of a nasty fucker when the mood arises.

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