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LadyNTrainer -> RE: For those who like to play with fear (5/23/2010 10:07:30 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LA
"Part of what I need is that cold streak in them- knowing full well they COULD fuck me up and leave me to die, that part of them actually really WANTS to do that. They aren't pretending that part of them, and both of us know it."
The partner I do fear play with refers to it as something like a willing suspension of disbelief mixed in with that little edge of uncertainty. If you have even that little edge, you may not believe in ghosts in the daylight, but watch a scary movie with the lights off and you might be jumping. He knows that I cherish him deeply and that I am committed to protecting him and keeping him safe - even, mostly, from myself. He also knows I can get into a mental state that is primal enough that I may not actually recognize him, and that I don't differentiate very well between people and animals when I'm there. If it moves, it's prey. If it moves wrong, it's a threat. He trusts in my control not to slip too far or for too long into that place, and I trust myself as well. But there is always that edge of knowing that the capacity is there.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Hawkwindblues
And that is exactly what i tried to describe, there is no pretending by my partners and the same goes for me, when i let my dP loose, in situations on the street at night as i was much younger, i never said: I want to kill you and i will do it, when you do not stop, but as people who witnessed the situation said, it kind of emanated out of me like fog. Sometimes i use that energy in SM too, it is not dangerous because i am in a highly controlled sadistice modus. No red mist/only blue ice, cold spring air in the dolomites and total awareness.
If I'm reading past your poetic metaphor correctly, there are some strong similarities to my experience. My own capacity for violence without remorse is not connected to human anger at all. It's quieter than that, and clearer than that. There is a primal savagery to it, but it is not hot rage so much as interested desire and calm calculation. A lion has that same good natured, pleasant but pitiless hunger in his eyes when he stalks prey. It's just what we do, and it tastes good. Also it's fun.
quote:
ORIGINAL: DomImus
It seems to me that if a submissive truly believes that the dominant will never harm them then generating that level of fear in the submissive is not possible. It can only be logically possible if the submissive truly believes there is a possibility that the dominant may go "off the rails" and harm them. That's an entirely different discussion to me. I don't personally know any submissives who would put themselves in that position although they likely exist depending on your definition of "harm".
Ever watched a horror movie and been scared, even if you don't really believe in monsters in the daytime?
I suspect the experience is similar for my fear play partner, accentuated by the knowledge that there really is a savage predatory beast in my head. Both of us do trust that I will not harm him, but for him it's still a lot like playing with lions. Tame lions may play with you, and they may even be genuinely loving and affectionate. But make no mistake that they also want to hunt and kill. If you blur the behavioral lines between friend and prey, if a rough play sequence turns into a kill sequence, that's when keepers can die. That knowledge can be about respect as much as fear, but the two are intimately connected.
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