RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts

RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

agirl -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 8:49:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 [:)] i can take a certain amount, in fact quite a lot on my bottom - but when it comes to my back or my breasts i get panicky and i hate it. not a problem, some might think, except that it has been for me in the past. D's that i have been with in the past have all wanted to flog my breasts and back and i have submitted to it, but ive hated it. some sort of anger and resentment builds up, i try not to let it spill out, but i curl up and cry and im truely pathetic. [&o] and yet, as ive said, having my bottom spanked, paddled, flogged and i can and want to take a certain amount, even more than i think i can. its the one part of my anatomy where i feel 'go for it baby - do youre thang! i know that its all about going into something slowly and carefully and building it up slowly - but it does absolutely nothing for me, not the point necessarily, i know. but even at my most submissive, anything along the lines of my back or breasts and im out of subspace and cringing, hating it and getting angry. even though i know that not all of submission is about submittng to the things we enjoy, sometimes it is about gritting our teeth and getting through it for our Dominants. in there is satisfaction that we got there and pleased them' - but for this activity its not necessarily about sadism, its provocative and horny for them, well, thats been my experience. so of course im failing on that by not getting hot over it. the question is, how do you get around or through or past something that makes you angry for no apparent reason, feels completely negative. ive tried doing it in the spirit of full submission, but each time the crop or flogger has fallen im back to being pathetic and angry. ill submit to it, but its not had the desired effect in the past and i need to get this sorted out. thanks. x I don't really. If whacking my boobs is just horrible and hurts, then it just does. If something makes him horny , it's never been expected that I ought to be too. I don't expect him to get turned on by the same things I do, either. That'd be daft. I also don't get through it for HIM or to please HIM. It's just something he's decided to do and I try to make the best of it. Sometimes I can derive something out of it and sometimes I can't. Unless he's deliberately intent on putting me into a nice headspace, then it's coincidental if I get one or not. I wouldn't say that getting angry or feeling negative about something you're enduring that you hate is no apparent reason. I think the reason is VERY apparent! It doesn't matter HOW submissive I FEEL........I'm still going to have to stand there. I'm stood there because I AM submitting , not because I FEEL submissive. I couldn't rely on feeling submissive, as I rarely do. I don't feel it, I do it. agirl i completely respect youre dynamic, but i do find it a bit confusing, ill be honest. youre not submitting, and youre not 'getting through it' youre just standing there but not to please him. ok. so how, for instance do you stay standing there, lets say for those 200 strokes of the cane as punishment, hard and cold when youre not there to submit and youre not there to please him and youre not 'getting through it'. the hardest thing i ever went through was 120 hard strokes with a crop as a punishment. the only thing that kept me there was my submission and the knowledge that if i did it would please him. excuse me for asking, im just genuinely wondering what keeps you from saying 'enough' when it gets really hard to take. im probably missing something here - i seem to be doing that alot lately - [:)] What keeps me there is what I agreed to. It doesn't matter if I am feeling submissive and it doesn't matter if I'm pleasing him. It matters that I actually DO what being with him means. I asked for it, it'd be very bad form to complain about something I actively asked for. I think what you might have missed or misunderstood, is that I didn't choose this relationship because I want to be submissive. I KNOW I have to, I KNOW that to have the part I want, I'm going to have to submit.....but that wasn't my prime aim. I asked for his control.........along with the control that I wished for, goes quite a lot of things that I have to accept that I don't like very much .......like being told what to do. I can't have ONE without the other. When it comes to the caning ...I was tied very tightly over a chair. What kept me there, apart from the ropes and what caused me to submit to being tied there FOR it , was the fact that he was right, I was wrong and whatever way he chose to punish that fact, wasn't up to me. Unless of course, I wanted to not be his any longer. It wasn't about pleasing him , or feeling submissive , it was about accepting what being HIS meant. There isn't any struggle with getting through something like that. You're tied down, it begins and at some point it ends. That's it, really. When it comes to other types of activities where it's NOT a punishment ........ in a way, the same thing applies. It'd be nice if EVERYTHING he did flipped my switches in the way I'd like. It'd be nice if nothing ever really hurt me apart from in a nice way, if nothing made me bite my pllow, or cry and wail, or shriek and declare that I hate him , or yell that I'm sorry out of desperation, even though I've nothing to be sorry for...........but .... then it wouldn't be HIM. And I wouldn't get the part I asked for originally ..... which was to be HIS. I'd have missed out on all sorts of amazing experiences if he'd stopped because I was scared , or in some kind of yukky pain. I DO say enough sometimes...... that's usually a guarentee that it'll go on longer. I don't get to choose when enough is. I asked for him to have control........ that means I don't get control. If he gave it back to me, or I asked for it back...... then the M/s relationship for us is over. I just can't have it both ways. It works both ways....... he couldn't have me , if he wasn't prepared to do what that takes either. Neither of us have to do it ....... we both have a way out. There's good and bad to owning me too. agirl

cloudboy -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 8:55:50 AM)
Your avatar suggests that you and Lordandmaster should hook up.

ryssa -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 9:36:05 AM)
I can't offer any advice, because I have the same feelings when it comes to breast play. I'm very sensitive about mine as well. Even normal touching sometimes makes me uncomfortable but, for me it's an insecurity and I'm fairly sure that it all stems back to my Great Grandmother passing away from breast cancer. Now I'm not sure if breast play (extreme or moderate) contributes at all to the risks of breast cancer, but I sure don't want to add to MY risks of getting it. I think I've let it manifest way beyond reasonable, and believe I need to deal with the underlying issues, but I doubt I will ever be comfortable with someone being rough or playing extensively with mine. Anyways, I just thought I would let you know you aren't alone ;)

Mercnbeth -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 10:42:25 AM)
this slave never feels angry and resentful towards Master. He is a sadist, though and perhaps it helps that orgasm is the common response to painful stimulation of this slave's genitals, ass & breasts, but she signed up to serve His sadistic desires, whatever they may be. an example: for this slave, receiving oral sex from either gender or being fondled or licked sensually by a woman is extremely uncomfortable & stomach-turning...her instinct is to push them away, however, there have been occasions where Master has insisted that this slave continue to submit to it---even after specifically begging Master for it to stop. this slave's obvious discomfort is something He enjoys...and this slave gets a lot of satisfaction from pleasing Him, so anger and resentment don't come into play.

SailingBum -> RE: spanking bottoms (2/3/2010 11:54:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 and youre extra yummy and im building an ark on the northern reach of some scottish peninsular, plan is to provide free shipment across for all and any subs or D's. there will be a dungeon of course and daily floggings across the yard arm every morning before breakfast. all donations gratefully received. lally your such a slut....You know I get a woodie when you speak nautical to me. Now I gotta find me a rope and a yardarm to hang some lass.... Well you get the idea BadOne

lally2 -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 11:57:05 AM)
agirl, sorry i cant quote at the moment. actually i deleted my question to you, soon after posting it, because it occurred to me that i had no right to ask or pry into how youre relationship works. so forgive me, please and thank you for sharing all of that, i understand completely what youre saying. and i think youre awesome to take all of that punishment, i would have expired frankly [:D]

lally2 -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 12:02:39 PM)
ryssa, i have to admit that has occurred to me too. trauma can cause problems for sure. who was that reggae guy who got hit in the leg wih a cricket ball and died of bone cancer a couple of years later. im such a dufass for names. ive been told that impact play on breasts doesnt cause cancer, but i feel that concern. bottoms were almost built for the purpose [:)], but breasts have all kinds of hormonal things going on in them and it just spooks me. xx

lally2 -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 12:14:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth this slave never feels angry and resentful towards Master. He is a sadist, though and perhaps it helps that orgasm is the common response to painful stimulation of this slave's genitals, ass & breasts, but she signed up to serve His sadistic desires, whatever they may be. an example: for this slave, receiving oral sex from either gender or being fondled or licked sensually by a woman is extremely uncomfortable & stomach-turning...her instinct is to push them away, however, there have been occasions where Master has insisted that this slave continue to submit to it---even after specifically begging Master for it to stop. this slave's obvious discomfort is something He enjoys...and this slave gets a lot of satisfaction from pleasing Him, so anger and resentment don't come into play. ah good, now my pc is letting me quote [:)] and youre a redhead! [:)] - i have to admit when the anger came it was visceral and over whelming - knee jerk reaction that has replayed in my head since and bugged me. with my back, just one strike and i cant breathe, my chest tightens and i panic. my breasts i just get angry. its reactive i know and it takes me over completely. the rest of the time im laid back, i do my best always and ill submit, even when i hate whats happening because as you say even in that there is the satisfaction in submitting and pleasing. oh well - its how im made i guess. [&:]

lally2 -> RE: spanking bottoms (2/3/2010 12:18:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 and youre extra yummy and im building an ark on the northern reach of some scottish peninsular, plan is to provide free shipment across for all and any subs or D's. there will be a dungeon of course and daily floggings across the yard arm every morning before breakfast. all donations gratefully received. lally your such a slut....You know I get a woodie when you speak nautical to me. Now I gotta find me a rope and a yardarm to hang some lass.... Well you get the idea BadOne . [:)]me, a slut, surely not! - LA says im a flirt and a perve, no idea where that notion came from either [8D] by the way, what the feck is a yard arm.

agirl -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 12:48:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 agirl, sorry i cant quote at the moment. actually i deleted my question to you, soon after posting it, because it occurred to me that i had no right to ask or pry into how youre relationship works. so forgive me, please and thank you for sharing all of that, i understand completely what youre saying. and i think youre awesome to take all of that punishment, i would have expired frankly [:D] lol..... I saw your question was deleted right after I'd replied. Confused me for moment. I don't mind being asked how it works. I don't exactly hide it you know. "It is what it is", as Ivana Trump would say. I'm not awesome for taking it, the option of not taking it wasn't there. I was tied down! You can take anything when your tied tightly enough. It wasn't as if I was brave, stoical or volunteered. I said I was nauseous and he thoughtfully offered to get a bowl for me before he continued. You did THIS.......so I'M doing that. That's about the long and the short of it. No hearts broken. agirl

agirl -> RE: spanking bottoms (2/3/2010 12:50:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 and youre extra yummy and im building an ark on the northern reach of some scottish peninsular, plan is to provide free shipment across for all and any subs or D's. there will be a dungeon of course and daily floggings across the yard arm every morning before breakfast. all donations gratefully received. lally your such a slut....You know I get a woodie when you speak nautical to me. Now I gotta find me a rope and a yardarm to hang some lass.... Well you get the idea BadOne . [:)]me, a slut, surely not! - LA says im a flirt and a perve, no idea where that notion came from either [8D] by the way, what the feck is a yard arm. It's the thing that you can't wait til the sun peeks over , so that you can justify having a drink.....lol agirl

SailingBum -> RE: spanking bottoms (2/3/2010 12:51:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 and youre extra yummy and im building an ark on the northern reach of some scottish peninsular, plan is to provide free shipment across for all and any subs or D's. there will be a dungeon of course and daily floggings across the yard arm every morning before breakfast. all donations gratefully received. lally your such a slut....You know I get a woodie when you speak nautical to me. Now I gotta find me a rope and a yardarm to hang some lass.... Well you get the idea BadOne . [:)]me, a slut, surely not! - LA says im a flirt and a perve, no idea where that notion came from either [8D] by the way, what the feck is a yard arm. It's the thingamajig <on old square rig sail boats think pirate ships> a piece of study timber that is used to hoist the sails up the mast. "Shiver me timbers" comes from it's blowing so hard the timbers are actually shaking. Somewhere between 60 to 70 knots think tornado. Nowadays since the rigging is cable the cables actually "moan" as the wind whips over them. In other words you really don't wanna be out there in the middle of it when a "blow kicks up". Now about that whole slut thing... Or what agirl said...as in the sun is over the yardarm somewhere in the world! Smirkle BadOne

agirl -> RE: spanking bottoms (2/3/2010 1:29:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 and youre extra yummy and im building an ark on the northern reach of some scottish peninsular, plan is to provide free shipment across for all and any subs or D's. there will be a dungeon of course and daily floggings across the yard arm every morning before breakfast. all donations gratefully received. lally your such a slut....You know I get a woodie when you speak nautical to me. Now I gotta find me a rope and a yardarm to hang some lass.... Well you get the idea BadOne . [:)]me, a slut, surely not! - LA says im a flirt and a perve, no idea where that notion came from either [8D] by the way, what the feck is a yard arm. It's the thingamajig <on old square rig sail boats think pirate ships> a piece of study timber that is used to hoist the sails up the mast. "Shiver me timbers" comes from it's blowing so hard the timbers are actually shaking. Somewhere between 60 to 70 knots think tornado. Nowadays since the rigging is cable the cables actually "moan" as the wind whips over them. In other words you really don't wanna be out there in the middle of it when a "blow kicks up". Now about that whole slut thing... Or what agirl said...as in the sun is over the yardarm somewhere in the world! Smirkle BadOne grins .....One of the best bits of being on a boat. That way, you don't care about the tiny loo and having no space to run. agitl

lally2 -> RE: spanking bottoms (2/3/2010 1:42:54 PM)
ah yes! i have a picture of it in me moinds oye, begorrah! - oh yes, very handy for bending over. you could have half a dozen lined up and then when everyones bottom is rosey they could be hoisted aloft to cool softly by atlantic breezes. [:)]

littlewonder -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 2:32:08 PM)
I cry. I struggle but not because it's fun but because it fucking hurts and I want to get away from the pain, I yell, I bite my tongue, I hold my breath, I pray for him to finish. Sometimes, depending on how generous he's feeling he may help me to get through the pain by reminding me to breathe in and out and whispering in my ear or giving me something else to concentrate on instead of the pain.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 4:11:24 PM)
Lally, I have a bit of the opposite issue. I hate having my ass wacked or slapped at all, however when it comes to my back, I Love having fingers nails digged deep into it (to the point I bleed) and Hell love painful stings of floggers or Geee.. I love having nearly anything and everything done to my back. Including the sensation of somebody drawing upon it. However, don't get near my butt. I'm not crazy about being drawn on there even. I even find myself getting angry when somebody trys to slap my ass during kinky sex, then again I put a hault to it in 2.5 seconds flat and if it does not, well I simply put a hault to WTF is going on. Then again I'm excerise my DOMLY Powers and authority in those cases. However, when it comes to my back, I'm as happy as a pig in mudd puddle. I've literally pushed for having more done my back than I have common sense in my head at the time. The proverbial topping from the bottom of the activity and trust me, I've pushed for things to be done to me.. hearing "I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you"... however in my mind it's all very pleasurable. Trust me, it's feeling good. Still none the less, there have been times where play ended because they were feeling uncomfortable with WTF was going on. I totally understood after I checked myself out in the mirror and was in Shock. So I'm sort of funny, you can tear my back to hell, leave marks, make me bleed and I'm still wanting more more more... The very second somebody thinks slapping my ass in the middle of sex is going to turn me on.. they are sadly mistaken. Pisses me off, and wrecks the mood or moment for me. So far, I'm managed to deal with this issue using my DOMLY powers. I tend to set somebody straight in 2.5 seconds flat. However, If I was on the other side of the kneel... I'm not certain how the hell to best deal with it. I suppose perhaps with the mindset of being in football camp, for boot camp, doing the steneous workout and dealing with the mental mindfucks being dished out by the couches/instructors. These are the two situations where I sumbitted myself to the authority over somebody physically pushing my limits and fucking with me at the same time. Trust me, some of it I did not enjoy one damn bit. So yeah, grin and suffer through it I guess. Not all pain is sensual, and in some places it's awesome as hell, other places it's an aweful hell to endure. Body is a bit like a wheather map when it comes to this. Everybody is a little different.

afterforever -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/3/2010 6:40:07 PM)
Lally if you could see your way to making a stop off in Ireland (get your boat checked out in the Belfast docks, they made the Titanic, they must be good...) I would be so up for a wee trip across the Atlantic and daily floggings and cocktails over the yardarm.

lally2 -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/4/2010 5:00:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 Not all pain is sensual, and in some places it's awesome as hell, other places it's an aweful hell to endure. Body is a bit like a wheather map when it comes to this. Everybody is a little different. clearly i was wrong in assuming then that pain for a masso is ok all over the body, i know that there are prefferances with what implement is used and how. and i have got over my horror of canes and crops, though i dont like the pain they produce, i can still struggle with it and come out the other end with the desired effect, whatever that desired effect is meant to be. floggers dont do much for me either, its like an empty sting with no residual to deal with, but thats probably inexperience. it helps to know im not the only one - [:)]

lally2 -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/4/2010 5:04:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: afterforever Lally if you could see your way to making a stop off in Ireland (get your boat checked out in the Belfast docks, they made the Titanic, they must be good...) I would be so up for a wee trip across the Atlantic and daily floggings and cocktails over the yardarm. we'll swing by on the way [:)] - not sure whose going to be the Captain - any suggestions? - has to be someone on our side of the pond, obviously, or itll just be a load of subs and slaves blowing back and forth and we'll probably end up in turkey and get sold to the taliban [&:] - i wouldnt look good in a burkah, the colour would wash me out and it would hang off my tits like a tent.

DarkSteven -> RE: spanking bottoms versus flogging backs and breasts (2/4/2010 5:12:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 clearly i was wrong in assuming then that pain for a masso is ok all over the body it helps to know im not the only one - [:)] Yup. I've known several women that loved getting spanked but could not take any nipple play to speak of.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125