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RE: Dear Dominants - 12/29/2009 9:47:16 PM

Whiplashsmile4

Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

I wonder how well a male sub misogynist and a Domme that's a female supremist would fair together at the next MTV VMA awards? Ummmm... imagine there's no heaven, no hell below us.. blah blah blah.. I wonder if I can download a copy of Redneck Rampage and blast some chickens tonight.

For the most part i tend to stick to the Main Board for BDSM topics, in regards to sexism, it's of many slices of life. As my Aunt used to say, it takes all kinds of people to make the world the interesting place it is. If everybody was the same imagine how boring things would be.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 21

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/29/2009 9:58:15 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
personally I think a better reworking would be to make it into 2 different boards - ask a sub, and ask a slave. The slave dynamic is so different from the sub dynamic, and it leads to people asking questions like "should a sub/slave have no limits" which just makes me go WTF - are you asking about a SUB or are you asking about a SLAVE? Cuz at least for me the answer would be different.

I second that! (Do note the exclamation mark.)

(in reply to Elisabella)

Post #: 22

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/29/2009 9:58:47 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Then of course there is the innocent stumbling upon a group you had no intention of entering.

Like the day I was in search of information about designing switches from Hemlock tree branches.

It was quite the interesting afternoon of discussion within the ranks of the Hermaphrodite Switches Forum.

I love the exploring. Gives all those voices in my head time to pick a number and form a crooked line.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 23

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/29/2009 10:09:26 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

Hmmm...good question. I think it would be good to have an "Ask a Dominant" type section to include a more well rounded answer.

Me, myself, I never look at what section I'm posting on, and I don't cruise the boards, I'll usually just be going through email or whatever and see a topic roll up at the left, and just respond. But I do know some that won't comment because they are not in the role that the section is addressed to....which is sad a lot of good answers/solutions might be missed that way

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 24

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/29/2009 11:04:59 PM

Reform

Posts: 151
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

We all can learn something regardless of the gender of the person who posted a query.

or the gender of the the person who answers ;)

I read and post on all the boards. I use it as a learning tool to read others ideas and thoughts. If I limited myself, I'd be limiting my intake of knowledge. It seems to make sense to me that a Dominants board might be a neat adjustment, but it makes no difference to me as I tread everywhere anyway.

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)

Post #: 25

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 7:04:39 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I think people just don't think outside the box. I get lazy and simply use pronouns that reflect the relationship I'm in, male dom/female sub. If English had a gender neutral pronoun more questions and replies wouldn't addressed from the viewpoint of the person typing.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Rule)

Post #: 26

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 9:06:34 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

It is a curious question........s types no gender specific but D and M types there are. I quit paying any attention to categories and post where ever there is something that interests me. The funny part of that is that, the Mistress section usually has the least appeal. That is the one section that seems to have the most focus on male genitalia. If anything, it is more of a male s-type section most days. How a woman serves a kinky male bottom by cloaking it in a passive aggressive, ask a mistress, costume. Something that I have no interest in.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 27

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 9:57:06 AM

trealeon

Posts: 180
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

it's rather curious isn't it?

the "Ask a switch" or "Ask a submissive/slave" sections aren't specific to gender...perhaps the folks that set up this site are of the mind that gender matters only if it's from a dominant's perspective?

I've always wondered why that was. That the "Master' and "Mistress" boards were separate but there is just one "Ask a Sub/Slave" board.

I always assumed that there was some intelligence behind the design that I just wasn't privy to and never really questioned it as it's not my site :)

_____________________________

My Opinion, Nothing More.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 28

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 10:35:27 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm wondering about how other folks feel about this? Do you find that many of the topics posted to one gender board or another, would have been better suited to the main board where both would more likely be heard? In writing either questions or replies on CM, how seriously do you take the gender guidelines of the Master/Mistress boards?

I completely agree. In my years on the board, I've also seen questions answered best by the groups that the poster actively didn't want to answer. I take the guidelines on the boards as simply that - guidelines. I still read the threads I'm interested in, wherever they are on the boards, and I post where I have something to say.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 29

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 10:39:38 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

In some ways, I wish more people would restrict themselves (or be forcibly restricted) to the boards designated for their biological sex and d/s status because then, if I were looking for a specific POV, I would know where to go and wouldn't have to wade through a lot of chaff to get to the wheat.

But then those of us who are allowed to post their owner's opinions for them wouldn't be able to. While Valyraen is (or was) peeking his head onto the forums more frequently, they still aren't his "thing" as much as they are mine. I know his mind almost frighteningly well and I have his blessing to answer for him if I feel I know the answer. So far, I haven't been wrong in how I've presented his views.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 30

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 10:51:41 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

~ Fast Consideration ~

Realized I never considered the situation before.

Strange, but I can recall posting in the 'Mistress' forum a couple of time, both with an opening disclaimer saying that I hoped that the Mistresses wouldn't mind. Never had any similar thoughts posting in the submissive's thread. It's like going through a woman's purse. Men don't really know what's in there and most don't want to find out.

Maybe I really was indoctrinated by the 'Old Guard' in NYC under hypnosis, and it's a subliminal case of respecting gender set boundaries. Even in a deserted park I'll use the 'mens' room for the same reason - given a choice I'll go to the appropriately labeled door. Unless there is also a handicapped door choice then, because those are always cleaner and bigger, I pick that door!

I don't think without a gender choice I would have noticed. But now that you mention it...

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 31

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 11:13:00 AM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I'm wondering about how other folks feel about this? Do you find that many of the topics posted to one gender board or another, would have been better suited to the main board where both would more likely be heard? In writing either questions or replies on CM, how seriously do you take the gender guidelines of the Master/Mistress boards?

Master is definitely not a gender specific term, and there are people who don't fit into (or at all appreciate) the idea of a gender binary. If you want a male board or a female board, you need to specify that.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 32

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 11:26:19 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

In some ways, I wish more people would restrict themselves (or be forcibly restricted) to the boards designated for their biological sex and d/s status because then, if I were looking for a specific POV, I would know where to go and wouldn't have to wade through a lot of chaff to get to the wheat.

But then those of us who are allowed to post their owner's opinions for them wouldn't be able to. While Valyraen is (or was) peeking his head onto the forums more frequently, they still aren't his "thing" as much as they are mine. I know his mind almost frighteningly well and I have his blessing to answer for him if I feel I know the answer. So far, I haven't been wrong in how I've presented his views.

Fair enough. However, there's always CMail as a loophole around that. In point of fact, I've always suspected that the best answers I've received to any question I've asked have come in the form of a private, off-the-boards message. Especially because those replies have, in many cases, led to an ongoing dialogue that gave me a meatier answer than anything the boards had to offer. But that's just me.

YMMV.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 33

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 12:09:05 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I do want to thank everyone for offering their opinions. I can promise that I'm not waving the 'change the site' flag. A computer twit like Myself would tend to think that would be one heck of a lot of work. LOL.

A few things that folks brought up make Me think about this even further. If the genders have specific issues that only apply to them, wouldn't it be thought that would be true of the other side of the kneel as well? Maybe that's why we have our fantastic regulars that pretty much hang out with the Mistress section. (Pretty good bunch of guys, actually.) It could also be that they don't feel particularly addressed in the submissive section that covers both genders.

Aqua, I think you have a very valid point there about when we know the person on the other side of the kneel that well. I have every confidence that there are people right here on this thread that know how the other person in their dynamic feels on certain issues. I think the same could be said when folks have had more than one long term D/s or M/s dynamic. More info based on multiple experiences with different partners. Very interesting to think about.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 34

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 9:40:49 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

I have ended up in a stalemate on this issue.

I for one could give a shit less who answers a question I ask. However if I specifically ask for a Male Dominant view (Why I would do this I have no idea) and anyone other than a Male Dominant answers they are wasting their time in my opinion because I will simply ignore thier answer or not take it as an answer but rather a gender right fueled need to speak rather than actually addressing the question, because had I wanted anything other than a Male Dominant view I would have asked for such.

What gets to me is that the Feminist / Maleist - Dom / sub bullshit of "I'm Important you need my opinion on this otherwise you're an asshole is just fucking retarded. If you don't want my opinion fine, however if you ask a question I want to answer I'm gunna answer but I'm not going to make excuses for it.

In my opinion if someone wants a Dominant view and not a submissive one and they ask for it that is fine it is what they want and they are asking for what they want. If someone else answers that question who the fuck cares, but what I see here is that more importantly than giving their input I see, these people bet berated and verbally abused for bothing to want a specific questions, their question, answered by a specific demographic.

A wise man speaks when he has something to say, A fool speaks because he has to say something. Most of the time I see foolish people bent on their of self importance that they are so arrogant to believe that their opinion should supercede the desired results the person asking the question was looking for.

I don't think the site needs to change I think a lot of people here could look at themselves and realize they are just people who have an opinion and theirs is no more important than anyone elses.

That's how I feel anyway.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 35

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 9:43:47 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
Fair enough. However, there's always CMail as a loophole around that. In point of fact, I've always suspected that the best answers I've received to any question I've asked have come in the form of a private, off-the-boards message. Especially because those replies have, in many cases, led to an ongoing dialogue that gave me a meatier answer than anything the boards had to offer. But that's just me.

YMMV.

Given the restrictions and requirements that many people have on their private mail (only X gender between Y and Z ages will even show up or be read, etc) I honestly don't bother to privately message people unless we are already friendly or I really feel my message needs to be private.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 36

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 10:39:00 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I for one could give a shit less who answers a question I ask. However if I specifically ask for a Male Dominant view (Why I would do this I have no idea) and anyone other than a Male Dominant answers they are wasting their time in my opinion because I will simply ignore thier answer or not take it as an answer but rather a gender right fueled need to speak rather than actually addressing the question, because had I wanted anything other than a Male Dominant view I would have asked for such.

While this might be true if you were the only one reading the responses, the fact is that many people are reading them. While the OP might want answers from a certain demographic, others reading might appreciate or be helped by responses from another perspective. IMO, this is the reason that threads do not belong to the OP, but the forum.

ETA- corrected awkward sentence structure

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 12/30/2009 10:40:10 PM >

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
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(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 37

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 10:58:18 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

I for one could give a shit less who answers a question I ask. However if I specifically ask for a Male Dominant view (Why I would do this I have no idea) and anyone other than a Male Dominant answers they are wasting their time in my opinion because I will simply ignore thier answer or not take it as an answer but rather a gender right fueled need to speak rather than actually addressing the question, because had I wanted anything other than a Male Dominant view I would have asked for such.

While this might be true if you were the only one reading the responses, the fact is that many people are reading them. While the OP might want answers from a certain demographic, others reading might appreciate or be helped by responses from another perspective. IMO, this is the reason that threads do not belong to the OP, but the forum.

ETA- corrected awkward sentence structure

And this is why later on I said I could care less who answers, the problem is when the person posting is more interested in discussing their right to answer rather than actually answering the question.

And regarless of the people reading and who the thread belongs to there is the purpose of topic. Where as the topic may belong to the forum the resposibility of the people posting is to remain on topic. When a thread asks for a specific demographic that responce pool has valid results when it is maintained. People might learn a little more when they see how a specific demographic answers a specific question rather than diluting the topic with a gender right fueled "I'm >Blank< and my answer is more important than respecting the specific questions asked by the original poster"

In addition to that as you have pointed out this is a forum, and because of that all you have to do is start a new thread asking the same question and inviting all gender and power dynamic roles to join in answering, but the Topic point was to ask a specific question to a specific group of people.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 38

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 11:04:23 PM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

I have ended up in a stalemate on this issue.

if I specifically ask for a Male Dominant view (Why I would do this I have no idea) and anyone other than a Male Dominant answers they are wasting their time in my opinion because I will simply ignore thier answer

If you don't want my opinion fine, however if you ask a question I want to answer I'm gunna answer

A wise man speaks when he has something to say, A fool speaks because he has to say something.

Nice to meet the two of you.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 39

RE: Dear Dominants - 12/30/2009 11:30:35 PM

rachel529

Posts: 197
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

blah blah blah.. I wonder if I can download a copy of Redneck Rampage and blast some chickens tonight.

redneck rampage is awesome!

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

...the topic may belong to the forum the resposibility of the people posting is to remain on topic.

sorry. but redneck rampage is awesome!

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 40

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