RE: pondering again....

RE: pondering again.... (Full Version)

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lally2 -> RE: pondering again.... (12/29/2009 12:50:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl Have you ever considered that it's possibly the challenge that being owned and subject to a sadist offers? The struggle with serious pain may bring a sense of satisfaction that you got through it, managed it and came out the other side alive, so to speak . Just a few other thoughts that sprung to mind as I was reading your last post. agirl the every day stuff of being owned isnt so much of a challenge, i love to look after my Master, make sure he's happy, doing his thing and pleasing him is easy, satisfying, fulfilling, i can do that all day long. but yes, being owned by a sadist with the capability to turn all that cosy into something else has the element of 'danger' i like, curling up to him and all snuggled while he's maybe planning my next demise gets me in a way no other relationship ever would. there is huge satisfaction in getting through and is part of the not wanting to dissappoint him (or me) i would prefer to struggle than safe word. i fully realise that this is totally symbiotic, that i do need this, else why would i be here [:D] realising im some sort of masso helps. knowing missokyst with all of her experience processes S&m in much the same way as i do helps. understanding the catharsis and realising that there is a correlation with my fantasies and this mess thing also helps. just wish the reality got me as horny as my fantasies [:)] - i would think, given all of the above that it would.

leadership527 -> RE: pondering again.... (12/31/2009 12:25:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 fantasy and reality are far different for me and its made me think a little bit about that. Heh, not for me. For me I just have "things I do", "things I haven't done yet but will get around to", and "things I won't do". If something were in the wishlist, it is not fantasy to me... it's just queued up. Maybe it's a defect in me, but for instance, I could never get into a rape fantasy. As much as I understand the difference between that and reality for most people, in me it would be one and the same and therefor, abhorrent. Maybe I'm just a died in the wool engineer? quote: so what the hell is it! - if it isnt sexual and it isnt Ms or Ds. I, of course, can only answer for myself and Carol. For her it is all about pleasing me. Secondarily, it is about not having to decide between her needs and mine. For me, it is about several things. a) A pragmatic interest in having control in order to manage our marriage optimally. b) A feeling of achievement that I can measure up to an almost impossible standard of "worthiness" c) Some primal thing that is too primal to have words for but is only loosely related to sexuality.

lally2 -> RE: pondering again.... (12/31/2009 4:51:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: leadership527 quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 fantasy and reality are far different for me and its made me think a little bit about that. Heh, not for me. For me I just have "things I do", "things I haven't done yet but will get around to", and "things I won't do". If something were in the wishlist, it is not fantasy to me... it's just queued up. Maybe it's a defect in me, but for instance, I could never get into a rape fantasy. As much as I understand the difference between that and reality for most people, in me it would be one and the same and therefor, abhorrent. Maybe I'm just a died in the wool engineer? i think that youre prolly just very pragmatic [:D] - ive always been a dreamer though, all my lfe since a kid, i vanish off into la la land and have a high old time [:)] - my fantasies never ever include anything that has no intrinsic value to me. rape, for instance or death of someone i love or any of those sort of things arent allowed in. in fact my subconcious will just take over and make everything al right insead. quote: so what the hell is it! - if it isnt sexual and it isnt Ms or Ds. I, of course, can only answer for myself and Carol. For her it is all about pleasing me. Secondarily, it is about not having to decide between her needs and mine. For me, it is about several things. a) A pragmatic interest in having control in order to manage our marriage optimally. b) A feeling of achievement that I can measure up to an almost impossible standard of "worthiness" c) Some primal thing that is too primal to have words for but is only loosely related to sexuality. from childhood, trying to please an unpleasable (narcisstic) mother i was caught in this constant cycle of pleasing unpleasable people. now that im more selective about the people i please its made me hard wired to find the pleasable and only the pleasable. its a tall order ive discovered. but for a time i did find someone who was pleasable and it turned everything around to some level of 'perfection' ive found hard to replicate. pleasing, almost to the point of annihiltion and for them to hold me and understand me and value me settles something in me that goes way beyond sex. it might be primal too, but i think thats linked into being owned and controlled

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