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Stockholm to Lima - 12/6/2009 8:02:06 PM   
lovingpet


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http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1919757,00.html

http://www.enslavement.org.uk/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome


Just as some precursory rough definitions and background.

There have been more than a few discussions of the internal enslavement process being a consensual equivalent of Stockholm syndrome. It has been argued that a person can go so deep into submission to another as to no longer know, care, or even see the way out. This meets with all kinds of concerns, of course. It means that the dominant that intends to internally enslave another would have to be absolutely above reproach or else we are entering into abusive territory. There is the concern that if it no longer seems viable remove consent, then it is already a non consent state and the relationship is already exploitative and even abusive. Others maintain that if the submissive party enters willingly with the knowledge that internal enslavement is the goal, then no further consent beyond the initial is necessary and everything after that point is automatically covered. Others state that there simply is no such thing as FULL internal enslavement. People will say there is no way to fully erase the will and consent of another.

Arguments abound that discussing internal enslavement (a consensual process) alongside Stockholm syndrome (a non consensual process) is attempting to place consensual slavery on the same footing as slave trade that has and continues to go on in the world today. Some will say that it is silly to even compare the two. The consent issue alone separates them. Then there is also the point that, in a consensual slavery state, there is no real and immediate threat of serious injury or death that is part and parcel of forming the Stockholm bond. Whether it is necessary for there to be such a threat is hotly debated. Some believe it is the constant flip between kindness and cruelty, rather than a fear or survival element. Clearly, though, if fear and survival are key, then the comparison would seem to not hold up.

All this so far has been familiar territory to many posters here. The part that I found a fascination with is the concept of Lima syndrome. For those who didn't read, basically it is a state in which the captor comes to develop emotional feelings for the captive. Now, as much as Stockholm syndrome/internal enslavement is some sort of submissive nightmare, a BDSM equivalent of Lima syndrome seems to be what many submissives hope will develop. Now, oddly enough, for some, it happens to a degree that seems to erode the dynamic. The dominant falls in love with the submissive and can no longer do those certain things that the submissive craves. On the flip side, sometimes the dominant falls in love with the submissive and craves to do those things all the more because of the deep fulfillment it gives to the submissive. Those are two vastly different outcomes from a similar process.

I am curious to hear what the interplay of all these things might be. How does one outcome or the other develop? What makes internal enslavement taboo and a Lima state desirable? General discussion would be greatly appreciated!

lovingpet



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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 1:45:14 AM   
RCdc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
What makes internal enslavement taboo and a Lima state desirable?

lovingpet


Hello lp
I am a bit confused so if you could respond before I can discuss.  Are you equating stockholm with internal enslavement?

the.dark.

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 3:54:12 AM   
DesFIP


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Stockholm Syndrome requires abuse to develop. I don't think this is possible in most d/s relationships because most submissives are not immediately isolated from friends and family giving them no recourse when things turn bad.

As far as the other, where the captor develops sympathy for the hostages, I would hope that would be in place prior to the establishment of a d/s relationship. Or do people normally submit in a 24/7 relationship to a stranger?

I don't think either of these are comparable to a power relationships. Moreover, if someone needs sympathy, caring, love, respect from their dominant, they usually are careful to only get into such a relationship where this exists. Again, if you need emotional intimacy you don't enter into a relationship without it, hoping that someday it will occur.

Now, if you want to talk about the fact that love can prevent a dominant from being harsh, that's a reality worth discussing on its own. It is true, but is something that can be remedied through open conversation.

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 3:56:23 AM   
Malkinius


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Greetings lovingpet....

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet


There have been more than a few discussions of the internal enslavement process being a consensual equivalent of Stockholm syndrome. It has been argued that a person can go so deep into submission to another as to no longer know, care, or even see the way out. This meets with all kinds of concerns, of course. It means that the dominant that intends to internally enslave another would have to be absolutely above reproach or else we are entering into abusive territory. There is the concern that if it no longer seems viable remove consent, then it is already a non consent state and the relationship is already exploitative and even abusive. Others maintain that if the submissive party enters willingly with the knowledge that internal enslavement is the goal, then no further consent beyond the initial is necessary and everything after that point is automatically covered. Others state that there simply is no such thing as FULL internal enslavement. People will say there is no way to fully erase the will and consent of another.


You are on the right track here but you are only one step down the road few have traveled. Most stop at the Stockholm Syndrome. Almost all should never go near it. To make it very clear...the Stockholm Syndrome (SS) DOES NOT produce any form of internal enslavement. It is a coping response to an intolerable condition or situation that enables someone to survive it. SS does not last after the victim is separated for even small lengths of time from their captors. By small I mean a few days. True internal enslavement can last months or even years to some degree.

That having been said, some of the things that creates SS can be used as tools for enslavement. Yes, if someone knowledgeably and willingly consents to undergo a process of enslavement then yes, what happens after that is with their consent even if they may legally withdraw that consent at any point. The ethics of the person doing this level of enslavement does matter. The reasons why they do it matter. Those things determine how safe and possibly sane someone is to be doing this. There is such a thing as can be called full Internal Enslavement (IE)...but that is not a term I would use. I call it complete surrender of will such that the slave will literally chose actions as their owner would chose them because they identify so much with their owner's will that they can think and act as their owner would command. Their own will and mind are not gone. It is an identification with another rather than a loss of mental ability and no...they are absolutely not any sort of 'doormat'.

quote:

Arguments abound that discussing internal enslavement (a consensual process) alongside Stockholm syndrome (a non consensual process) is attempting to place consensual slavery on the same footing as slave trade that has and continues to go on in the world today. Some will say that it is silly to even compare the two. The consent issue alone separates them. Then there is also the point that, in a consensual slavery state, there is no real and immediate threat of serious injury or death that is part and parcel of forming the Stockholm bond. Whether it is necessary for there to be such a threat is hotly debated. Some believe it is the constant flip between kindness and cruelty, rather than a fear or survival element. Clearly, though, if fear and survival are key, then the comparison would seem to not hold up.


Some will argue just about everything. There is no need for any sort of threat with a willing slave to produce enslavement. SS can involve such flips, IE does not.

quote:

All this so far has been familiar territory to many posters here.


This is very true.

quote:

The part that I found a fascination with is the concept of Lima syndrome. For those who didn't read, basically it is a state in which the captor comes to develop emotional feelings for the captive. Now, as much as Stockholm syndrome/internal enslavement is some sort of submissive nightmare, a BDSM equivalent of Lima syndrome seems to be what many submissives hope will develop. Now, oddly enough, for some, it happens to a degree that seems to erode the dynamic. The dominant falls in love with the submissive and can no longer do those certain things that the submissive craves. On the flip side, sometimes the dominant falls in love with the submissive and craves to do those things all the more because of the deep fulfillment it gives to the submissive. Those are two vastly different outcomes from a similar process.


Both of those things are fairly well known by those who pay attention to other people...and are directly related to how couples bond and interact. It has nothing specific to do with IE or BDSM.

quote:

I am curious to hear what the interplay of all these things might be. How does one outcome or the other develop? What makes internal enslavement taboo and a Lima state desirable? General discussion would be greatly appreciated!

lovingpet


As I said above, SS does not lead to IE. The driving mechanism that some people think drives SS can be a part of what drives IE. Check out the term 'Capture Bonding'. That is step two on the road to understanding how IE physically, biologically and psychologically works. It makes for a very interesting and surprisingly rewarding journey.

Be well....

Malkinius


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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 4:31:33 AM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
What makes internal enslavement taboo and a Lima state desirable?

lovingpet


Hello lp
I am a bit confused so if you could respond before I can discuss.  Are you equating stockholm with internal enslavement?

the.dark.


In this post yes, but only for discussion purposes. I have seen discussions of this nature in the past. I hadn't seen them include the other side (Lima syndrome) before. I wouldn't say I equate them personally, however.

lovingpet

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 5:20:28 AM   
RCdc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
I am curious to hear what the interplay of all these things might be. How does one outcome or the other develop? What makes internal enslavement taboo and a Lima state desirable? General discussion would be greatly appreciated!

lovingpet


quote:

In this post yes, but only for discussion purposes.


In which case, I don't know if I can be much of a contributor other than saying I don't equate IE with either Stockholm nor Lima.  I also do not see one more favourable over the other and never have from a vicarious POV.
But then, I don't believe in the fallacy of 'consent' either.

the.dark.

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 6:02:45 AM   
ranja


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this entire thing about Stockholm and Lima is somewhat over my head...

MH and i just love eachother and bdsm has given us a good sort of frame to build rules for our relationship... like He is the boss... He has always been the boss really but as a somewhat malfunctioning vanilla couple that was not very obvious... especially not since i was very unclear about my needs and did not follow very well because i did not let Him lead  and  He was a bit too 'polite' to tell me to shut up and behave...
something He has no trouble with whatsoever now, thank god.

So in effect He might have suffered the Lima thing before we entered our bdsm world... as He loved me too much to put me in my place... or hurt me
and since we have things sorted i now suffer the Stockholm thing and am much more inlove with my captor than i ever was before... sweet torture.

(i have to point out that i am very happy that so far i have not been taken hostage by a bunch of low life terrorists or any other sicko and i think that playing at stuff is great but taking a stranger prisoner in reality is totally unacceptable... and the people who do such crimes should be shot dead!)


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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 6:10:49 AM   
RCdc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja
(i have to point out that i am very happy that so far i have not been taken hostage by a bunch of low life terrorists or any other sicko)


Completely off topic and shameless hijack for a moment - amanda... you are totally adorable.

the.dark.

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 7:31:44 AM   
lucylucy


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I’m getting hung up on “consensual equivalent of Stockholm syndrome.” If it’s consensual, it can’t be Stockholm. It just can’t. End of story.

Or am I missing something?


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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 8:10:49 AM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I’m getting hung up on “consensual equivalent of Stockholm syndrome.” If it’s consensual, it can’t be Stockholm. It just can’t. End of story.

Or am I missing something?


Yes, this is my take on it as well.


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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 10:32:20 AM   
Justme696


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quote:

The Florence Nightingale effect is a psychological complex where people who are entrusted with the care and well being of vulnerable patients begin to form a romantic attraction and often erotic attraction toward their charges


Related..but I see this once in a while happening. A domtaking care of s sub with problems...getting back submission instead.

Still not a good base....and wrong in my opnion..together with Lima and Stockholm
I just prefer to see the cities instead.

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 11:15:47 AM   
lally2


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you have an unknown quantity with a gun and youre instinct is to survive. so you acquiesce. for an Ms or Ds relationship to survive the submissive needs to acquiesce, same thing, different stakes.

one of the suggestions regarding stockholm syndrome takes us back to times when women were abducted for breeding. those that fought and struggled were invariably killed. the ones that accepted their lot and got on with it, - were submissive in other words - survived. interestingly enough that would suggest the gene pool that we women swim in has been largely formed from women prepared to submit to men for their surival.

maybe its all about protection and validation. if you can encourage the one in control to develop feelings of protection toward you and value you youre chances of survival are better. be that survival in a hostage situation or the survival of a Ds or Ms relationship.

i guess in there is also the whole human condition that when things feel unsafe and insecure we need to either be lead through or led out of that situation. in a hostage situation obviously the leader is the hostage-taker.

the Lima syndrome is kinda the same, the hostage takers are still the protectors only they go the other way and take pity on their hostages - i think in there is the demise of a Ds relationship in that if the sub is clearly unhappy the Dominant does not hold her to his contract or his collar but lets her go because to keep her in a situation she finds untennable would be too painful for him.

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 11:24:02 AM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I’m getting hung up on “consensual equivalent of Stockholm syndrome.” If it’s consensual, it can’t be Stockholm. It just can’t. End of story.

Or am I missing something?



I covered this. Please reread the OP. Stockholm syndrome and the general gist of internal enslavement work on some of the same mechanisms, primarily the constant mixture of positive and negative stimuli over the course of time. I never said they were the same thing. The potential similarities come up from time to time. The background reading to understand each term was provided.

All relationships are a set of processes. How one becomes emotionally invested in the other is important. I am examining these processes on both sides of the power dynamic and looking at it in sort of an "ultimate" and perhaps even mythical form, that of FULL internal enslavement. I don't work well with semantic games, so if we can just move on to a little more substance I would appreciate it. I opened it up for discussion, not to attempt to teach a class. I don't know exactly how to clarify to suit the palates here and I won't try. I am trying to understand things more fully. That means if there is a gap in my train of thought, feel free to fill it and explain it to me. Thanks!

lovingpet


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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 11:27:39 AM   
RCdc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
Stockholm syndrome and the general gist of internal enslavement work on some of the same mechanisms, primarily the constant mixture of positive and negative stimuli over the course of time.
lovingpet



Hi LP
I have a question if I may?  What kind of negative stimuli for internal enslavement?  I am just having a really difficult time melding it in such generalistic terms.

the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 12/7/2009 11:29:34 AM >


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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 11:30:21 AM   
ExSteelAgain


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I’ve read the “Internal Enslavement” opinions at their website extensively and found them interesting and scintillating, but not a proven concept. Sure, a slight degree of that probably happens, but it’s not something equivalent to the Stockholm Syndrome or the Lima Syndrome on either side.

Heck, even as a Dominant, if I were caught in a Stockholm like situation I positively would be trying to bring the captor to my side. I’d be saying things like, “Those asshole cops are trying to kill US.” Anything to put me in the same PLACE as they were. Does that make me sub? Hell, I don’t know, but my ass would be alive, hopefully.

It seems that D/s gets us past all these psychological situations and down to the common sense of those who like being beaten and controlled finding a safe haven with those who beat and control in a respectful and safe way. A submissive revealing to a vanilla that she wants him to whip her is at as much risk as she is telling that to a kidnapper.


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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 1:04:38 PM   
lovingpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
Stockholm syndrome and the general gist of internal enslavement work on some of the same mechanisms, primarily the constant mixture of positive and negative stimuli over the course of time.
lovingpet



Hi LP
I have a question if I may?  What kind of negative stimuli for internal enslavement?  I am just having a really difficult time melding it in such generalistic terms.

the.dark.



I am thinking positive stimuli as in reward and negative as punishment. Clearly, what is reward or punishment is relative, but the messages of being secure and well thought of versus loss thereof in the version meaningful to the parties. No, negative stimuli cannot be delineated. That doesn't change the fact that most people have certain triggers that they equate with punishment. Whatever those triggers are, they can be used as needed to further the process. I don't think negative stimuli is really such a nebulous term.

lovingpet



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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 1:49:15 PM   
RCdc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
I am thinking positive stimuli as in reward and negative as punishment. Clearly, what is reward or punishment is relative, but the messages of being secure and well thought of versus loss thereof in the version meaningful to the parties. No, negative stimuli cannot be delineated. That doesn't change the fact that most people have certain triggers that they equate with punishment. Whatever those triggers are, they can be used as needed to further the process. I don't think negative stimuli is really such a nebulous term.

lovingpet


I agree that negative stimuli is a nebulous term.
I do disagree that 'negative' stimuli is necessary or always present in IE... if that is what you are suggesting?

the.dark.

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 4:54:26 PM   
CaringandReal


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

But then, I don't believe in the fallacy of 'consent' either.

the.dark.


Do you mean that consenting doesn't work or that the idea that someone consents is a fallacious one? Or something else?

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 5:10:03 PM   
CaringandReal


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quote:

That means if there is a gap in my train of thought, feel free to fill it and explain it to me. Thanks!


I think a couple of people did already?

While I can't offer my opinion, as I don't know enough about the details of these syndromes to have one, I can repeat what i've heard the other posters saying to you. Some people are saying that (a) in order for something to actually be SS or even close to SS, certain envrionmental conditions have to be met and (b) these specific, key environmental conditions rarely occur in bdsm relationships, internal enslavement or otherwise. Again, I don't know enough about this subject to know what is factual about it and what isn't, but it seems like an interesting line of thought to research. What you find will either confirm your own views or confirm theirs.

-----------

Forgive this tiny hijack.

Fictional depictions of a capture-and-break situations often depict things that sound an awful lot like Stockholm Syndrome or Lima Syndrome. I would be interested in hearing about any good movies or books people have seen on this subject...for purely educational reasons, of course! :p Two that I've seen and enjoyed are Bad Boy and Closet Land.

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RE: Stockholm to Lima - 12/7/2009 6:29:14 PM   
lucylucy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet


quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I’m getting hung up on “consensual equivalent of Stockholm syndrome.” If it’s consensual, it can’t be Stockholm. It just can’t. End of story.

Or am I missing something?



I covered this. Please reread the OP. Stockholm syndrome and the general gist of internal enslavement work on some of the same mechanisms, primarily the constant mixture of positive and negative stimuli over the course of time. I never said they were the same thing. The potential similarities come up from time to time. The background reading to understand each term was provided.

All relationships are a set of processes. How one becomes emotionally invested in the other is important. I am examining these processes on both sides of the power dynamic and looking at it in sort of an "ultimate" and perhaps even mythical form, that of FULL internal enslavement. I don't work well with semantic games, so if we can just move on to a little more substance I would appreciate it. I opened it up for discussion, not to attempt to teach a class. I don't know exactly how to clarify to suit the palates here and I won't try. I am trying to understand things more fully. That means if there is a gap in my train of thought, feel free to fill it and explain it to me. Thanks!

lovingpet


Yes, I understand the terms. My point is that for me, consent makes a world of difference, enough so that I can't imagine a "consensual equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome." (I'm quoting you here, so don't get all in a huff about me saying you said there was an equivalent when you didn't--yes, I understand you qualified it). Yes, I see some areas of overlap between SS and D/s relationships, but I also see areas of overlap between Hitler and many other charismatic leaders, such as Martin Luther King--yet, I can't imagine comparing them. That doesn't mean others can't compare them, but it doesn't work for me. I get too hung up on the historical baggage around Hitler. That probably shuts me out of some very interesting discussions; I'm not claiming that I'm right about anything, I'm just explaining how my mind apprehends these kinds of subjects.

You don't have to like my opinion, but it's not a semantic game to me, and I'm sorry if my response isn't substantive enough. I was simply offering an opinion . . . which I thought fell under the heading of "general discussion." Sorry if I misunderstood.

Edited to sound like less of a bitch. A tiny bit less.

< Message edited by lucylucy -- 12/7/2009 6:35:41 PM >


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