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Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 3:52:32 PM

Ellise56

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sorry if this has been post a lot i have to read it. but it is a question that i want everyone's opinion on. Is BDSM a lifestyle and why is that your view?

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:11:46 PM

lovingpet

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BDSM:
Bondage
Discipline
Sado
Masochism

Nope. Doesn't sound like a lifestyle to me.

D/s or M/s perhaps would more closely resemble a lifestyle because remaining in a dominant or submissive position within a primary relationship would alter how one conducts his/her everyday life. Still I find domination and submission to be acts and/or traits of an individual. I don't care for the term "lifestyle" in the first place. I don't like it for this arena, nor do I like it in general for any other aspect. I live my life. It's style is all my own and not a set of generic presuppositions. I will still use the term to discuss people who have a similar affinity for living life in a similar way as I have chosen, but I still find it to be a flimsy term.

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:14:04 PM

breatheasone

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Man i hate it when school starts....then we get bombarded with all these kids that want US to be their research. Anyone got any cheese for the lab mice?

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:17:49 PM

NihilusZero

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Anything imaginable on this planet can be turned into a lifestyle.

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:18:14 PM

Ellise56

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as a matter of fact i'm in school and i am into BDSM. this is not research i have friends who debate this all the time and i wanted some opinion on. i myself don't see it as lifestyle its something i enjoy but it doesn't define who i am. by the way thanks for assuming.

< Message edited by Ellise56 -- 11/13/2009 4:20:44 PM >

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:24:25 PM

Viridana

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FR

I think BDSM can be a lifestyle for some of the more "fanatical" ones, if one can loosely use the word. But I think those individuals are few and far between. I think most of us have it as an icing on top of our daily lives without being able to call it a lifestyle per se. But then again I'm just speaking from my observation and personal interpretation of them, not statistics.

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:31:08 PM

Ellise56

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i was just wonder when and where people think that line from fun kink turns into something more? or so some people think, it also begs the question what defines a lifestyle?

< Message edited by Ellise56 -- 11/13/2009 4:32:04 PM >

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:38:36 PM

lovingpet

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Lifestyle=the style of one's life

Though I may have a lifestyle, as a social construct such a term is useless. My lifestyle and the person who has a similar lifestyle to mine still may have very different style of how we live our lives even if superficially they are exactly the same. If the mentality or motivations are different, all the comparative material is deceptive at best. While a person or couple can live a lifestyle, a society cannot proclaim to have lifestyles within it where multiple people, couples, or groups are relating because they are each mostly likely discussing apples, oranges, and zucchini. Some will be more similar than others, but that doesn't make them remotely the same thing.

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:45:18 PM

LadyPact

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Fanatical? That's a new one.

Yes, I do call it a lifestyle. One of the basic reasons for doing so is because when I say it, darn near everyone who reads from these boards knows what I mean.

Also to agree with NZ, yes, the things that I involve Myself with in My life can very well be seen as a lifestyle. In general, I have a preference for friends that are also kinky. I hit scheduled events when I belong to certain groups. The things I read, the lectures I attend, the classes regarding things that I want to learn about generally focus on those things that are related to BDSM. In some form or another, it's part of every day because it's part of Me.

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:47:44 PM

lally2

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im not really sure why the term lifestyle is attached to anything really.

i mean we all have other interests that may or may not define parts of who we are, but we dont call them lifestyles. im not a lifestyle pagan or a lifestyle horsewoman but to a large degree my life is dedicated to both of these things.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 11/13/2009 5:05:04 PM >

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:48:27 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

as a matter of fact i'm in school and i am into BDSM. this is not research i have friends who debate this all the time and i wanted some opinion on. i myself don't see it as lifestyle its something i enjoy but it doesn't define who i am. by the way thanks for assuming.

No problem kiddo! ( and yes i did assume, because of how the question was given with no in put of your own. Please excuse my mistake)

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:55:25 PM

KateyCaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

sorry if this has been post a lot i have to read it. but it is a question that i want everyone's opinion on. Is BDSM a lifestyle and why is that your view?

For me, it is an expression of who i truly am. Some people are naturally "vanilla"; and others need to have bondage, discipline, dominance and pain in their lives. For those people it is as natural as breathing.

k.

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:55:55 PM

Ellise56

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no problem, i had trouble wording it in a way it was understandable. i figured people had a read it a billion times over and didn't need a twenty year old ask it again. but thanks for the reply .

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:57:33 PM

lovingpet

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I am midstream. I will use the term because it is reasonably understood. I would refer to events, clubs, and certain people in my life as "lifestyle", etc. At the same time, I don't want a lot of the politics and don't really fall in line with a lot of the overarching "lifestyle" protocol. I love protocol, but on terms that are appropriate for my partner and I. I know that is clear as mud.

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 4:59:50 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

as a matter of fact i'm in school and i am into BDSM. this is not research i have friends who debate this all the time and i wanted some opinion on. i myself don't see it as lifestyle its something i enjoy but it doesn't define who i am. by the way thanks for assuming.

No problem kiddo! ( and yes i did assume, because of how the question was given with no in put of your own. Please excuse my mistake)

Candy,
That was very gracious of you. Kuddos!
sunshine

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:01:46 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

as a matter of fact i'm in school and i am into BDSM. this is not research i have friends who debate this all the time and i wanted some opinion on. i myself don't see it as lifestyle its something i enjoy but it doesn't define who i am. by the way thanks for assuming.

No problem kiddo! ( and yes i did assume, because of how the question was given with no in put of your own. Please excuse my mistake)

Candy,
That was very gracious of you. Kuddos!
sunshine

Meh! i'm an asshole... but i'm an HONEST asshole

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:03:22 PM

Ellise56

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i called a kid all the damn time, sorry if i went off the deep end.

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:06:28 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

i called a kid all the damn time, sorry if i went off the deep end.

Nawww...yer alright baby, i just have to chuckle...my YOUNGEST kid is 24 and just got married and i have 2 grandkids 8 and 3...so TO ME....(well you see my point)

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:07:29 PM

Ellise56

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you can't be that old to have a 24 year old

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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:13:27 PM

MagiksSlave

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Not even reading the other replies I am going to put my own pennies worth in.

I vote not a lifestyle. Why? You ask. Because to me this is a small part of my life a little piece of the puzzle, an included bit in the paccage that make up who I am and how I live, it is NOT my life or my lifestyle. It is such a small part of my bigger picture that I refuse to use it as a way to define myself in anyway.

Just my own thoughts.

Magik

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 11/13/2009 5:14:02 PM >

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