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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 5:33:01 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

~Fast Reply~
I don't use the term "lifestyle" because bdsm doesn't define my whole life.  If you saw me on the street, you wouldn't be able to tell me from a 'nilla person.  My life is about a lot of things....I'm a horse lover, a cat owner, a pagan, a nurse, and I love the outdoors, entertaining groups and cooking.....bdsm is only one of many things I like.  But in an intimate relationship, yes, it would need to include bdsm, which would affect how He & I relate on all levels, not just in the bedroom.  Without that power exchange dynamic, something is missing.  I can't say I live any "lifestyle."  I just live my life.  :)

Wholly agreed!

luci

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(in reply to sweetsub1957)
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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 6:28:14 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

sorry if this has been post a lot i have to read it. but it is a question that i want everyone's opinion on. Is BDSM a lifestyle and why is that  your view?


I believe to be aspects of a lifestyle. For some, they are a major part of, for others, only an occasional part.

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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to Ellise56)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 6:51:10 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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Lifestyle = Style of living.

In that sense, for me aspects of BDSM are incorporate in my overall lifestyle. I think the thing that makes the difference for me is the same thing that makes the difference between, say, a lifestyle bodybuilder and someone who does casual weightlifting is how much what you're doing is incorporated in your overall scope of life. If bodybuilding is just an occasional activity you participate in, or only affects the time when you're actually -at- the gym working out, then that isn't a "lifestyle"... it's just an enjoyable hobby. OTOH, if you're fully committed, and you plan your day around your training regimen, and you select what you eat and drink, how you dress, and all of your free time around aspects of your bodybuilding, and it affects most aspects of your life, then that's a bodybuilder 'lifestyle'. The same goes for BDSM-type situations. If you go out to the local leather bar on the weekends and get in some kink, and have a few pieces of clothing and a flogger in the back of the closet, that's not "lifestyle"... that's just enjoying a somewhat less-than-common activity... a hobby. If, on the other hand, your life revolves around dominating or being dominated, for example, and everything from how you dress to when and how you eat to how even the most crucial decisions are made in your life revolve around reinforcing your BDSM-oriented perspectives... then yes, I think it's certainly likely that it has transcended hobby and moved into the realm of lifestyle for that person. Defining the grey area in between... well, I guess that has to be a personal decision depending on one's perspective about one's own life and the role BDSM has within it.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 11/14/2009 6:52:32 PM >


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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 7:20:29 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

sorry if this has been post a lot i have to read it. but it is a question that i want everyone's opinion on. Is BDSM a lifestyle and why is that your view?


elllse,

" It is what it is"

CP

(in reply to Ellise56)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 7:49:23 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
Oh i hate that saying! It sounds so defeatest - as if there is nothing left to do

and on a completely different matter - lifestyle? Sure, as much as friends live a vanilla lifestyle, or a gay lifestyle or any other lifestyle. It describes how i live (very generally) in a way that others may recognise. If i tell someone i am in a bdsm lifestyle, they could conceivably google it and get a fair idea how i live with my Sir. Of course, they may also read into it way more than i mean, and cause some consternation and confusion, but in general, its a fairly good term for me.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/15/2009 10:33:07 AM   
SubmissiveOinker


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/23/2009
Status: offline
I do consider it a BDSM Lifestyle in the same way someone may consider a Lesbian Type of Lifestyle, it doesn't mean BDSM becomes my whol life however it means it becomes a big part of my life among relationships. No one can keep a lifestyle fully all the time, I find myself calling myself into BDSM Lifestyle being I am into more than just fetishes or kinks.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/15/2009 4:51:39 PM   
blmtrsne


Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline
To me it is a lifestyle, but my husband/slave is my sub (and property) 24 hours a day. That means we can't always "play". In fact 99% of the time he's my servant in all possible ways. So I guess the answer is depending on your search through life: do you want to have some fun or do you live 24/7 with BDSM ? And how much BDSM is in your life when you go 24/7 ?
It's up to you. Your profile states "Switch".
If you want to be the Queen in your home, and you get to know the right guy (just be patient, the right vanilla guy takes time to find also) you can end up a very happy Femdom.
But it's your life, your choise. You can also ask me questions directly if you want more private info.

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-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 47
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