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RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:16:46 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

you can't be that old to have a 24 year old

LMAO....YOU are my new BEST friend.... (have three, a 28 y/o daughter, a 25 y/o daughter, and a 24 y/o son. 2 grandkids)

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to Ellise56)

Post #: 21

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:18:22 PM

MagiksSlave

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Joined: 9/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

you can't be that old to have a 24 year old

LMAO....YOU are my new BEST friend.... (have three, a 28 y/o daughter, a 25 y/o daughter, and a 24 y/o son. 2 grandkids)

My older brother is 29, I dont consider my parents old, so there for I dont think I could possably consider you old :D

Magik

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 22

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:19:21 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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~Fast Reply~
I don't use the term "lifestyle" because bdsm doesn't define my whole life. If you saw me on the street, you wouldn't be able to tell me from a 'nilla person. My life is about a lot of things....I'm a horse lover, a cat owner, a pagan, a nurse, and I love the outdoors, entertaining groups and cooking.....bdsm is only one of many things I like. But in an intimate relationship, yes, it would need to include bdsm, which would affect how He & I relate on all levels, not just in the bedroom. Without that power exchange dynamic, something is missing. I can't say I live any "lifestyle." I just live my life. :)

~edited for wording~

< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 11/13/2009 5:23:10 PM >

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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Post #: 23

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:20:47 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

you can't be that old to have a 24 year old

LMAO....YOU are my new BEST friend.... (have three, a 28 y/o daughter, a 25 y/o daughter, and a 24 y/o son. 2 grandkids)

My older brother is 29, I dont consider my parents old, so there for I dont think I could possably consider you old :D

Magik

MAN!....i'm making new best friends all over the place today!

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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Post #: 24

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:22:39 PM

Ellise56

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Joined: 2/12/2009
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my brothers 28 and my mama ain't old,there for i deem you not old.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 25

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:38:01 PM

abuddingdom

Posts: 158
Joined: 3/8/2007
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I pretty much come down on the side of lovingpet's theory : I engaged in BDSM for almost 4 decades. I refer to that lengthy part of my life as exploring where B&D crosses over into S&M. But it wasn't a lifestyle. Even when I made my way into the "community" 3 years ago, seeking out more intense and structured power exchange, it didn't become a lifestyle for me. When I found someone who wanted to submit to me and was willing to submit to me, and who expected me to be able to dominate her and to follow through in dominating her and I began living it 24/7 - that's when it became my lifestyle.....

Note that I used quote marks with the word community, as the meaning of that word, too, is debatable and arguable. I consider the "community" a combination of sites like this which , among many other things, provide forums where I can share, learn, etc(this site is among the better ones, in my opinion), and my local scene - the various BDSM groups which provide mainly social networking and essentially play oppurtunities if one can survive the politics. These are what I made my way into 3 years ago and consider the community, the community in which I live my lifestytle but includes the community at large........

(in reply to Ellise56)

Post #: 26

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:46:07 PM

breatheasone

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If i may be so bold, (yeah like i'm NEVER bold LOL)...and WAY over simplifying this. *observe* Gay Lifestyle, Christian Lifestyle, Conservative Lifestyle, Liberal Lifestyle etc...

Whats my point?....the word Lifestyle has become a "figure of speech" when any of the above are said....it gives you a "GENERAL" idea of how that person lives.
Ok be honest...did i hit on anything or am i full of shit?

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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Post #: 27

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 5:46:28 PM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

my brothers 28 and my mama ain't old,there for i deem you not old.

See we follow the same logic!!!

Magik

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Ellise56)

Post #: 28

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 6:46:21 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

Welllll ... it's my life. Not my "lifestyle". I don't look at others and think "lifestyle", so I don't look at myself and think lifestyle. It's how I live. I guess it's just like anything - we can assign terminology and make it fit.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 29

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 6:51:12 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

BDSM:
Bondage
Discipline
Sado
Masochism

Nope. Doesn't sound like a lifestyle to me.

D/s or M/s perhaps would more closely resemble a lifestyle . . .

lovingpet

It can be if you try really hard! lol

/jk

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I give good thread.

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Post #: 30

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 6:56:37 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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Well I am an overachiever.....

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If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

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Post #: 31

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 7:33:01 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I don't see it as a lifeSTYLE....just living life with a dominant personality man. I don't really get into all the high protocol, long list of rules, don't really do the whole public scene thing or anything else that seems to go into the whole thing others call a lifestyle.

We simply live our lives as one who just happens to be submissive towards a dominant personality meaning I yield, he leads.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 32

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/13/2009 8:52:30 PM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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From Wikipedia (so take it with a grain of salt as it's not written by an authority)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lifestyle

quote:

Lifestyle was originally coined by Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler in 1929. The current broader sense of the word dates from 1961.[1]

In sociology, a lifestyle is the way a person lives. A lifestyle is a characteristic bundle of behaviors that makes sense to both others and oneself in a given time and place, including social relations, consumption, entertainment, and dress. The behaviors and practices within lifestyles are a mixture of habits, conventional ways of doing things, and reasoned actions. A lifestyle typically also reflects an individual's attitudes, values or worldview. Therefore, a lifestyle is a means of forging a sense of self and to create cultural symbols that resonate with personal identity. Not all aspects of a lifestyle are entirely voluntaristic. Surrounding social and technical systems can constrain the lifestyle choices available to the individual and the symbols she/he is able to project to others and the self.[2]

The lines between personal identity and the everyday doings that signal a particular lifestyle become blurred in modern society.[3] For example, "green lifestyle" means holding beliefs and engaging in activities that consume fewer resources and produce less harmful waste (i.e. a smaller carbon footprint), and deriving a sense of self from holding these beliefs and engaging in these activities. Some commentators argue that, in modernity, the cornerstone of lifestyle construction is consumption behavior, which offers the possibility to create and further individualize the self with different products or services that signal different ways of life.

So if BDSM takes such a place in your life that you identify so much of your life to it, then it becomes a lifestyle for you.

Personally, it doesn't for me. I'm just happen to be a sadistic dominant woman. It doesn't define the major part of my life.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 11/13/2009 8:53:23 PM >

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Post #: 33

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 11:46:16 AM

HisSweetElysium

Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline

We define our relationship as D/S. In that sense, yes, it is a lifestyle. We are in a monogamous relationship, and sharing a life together. Yes, we both go out, do other things, have many aspects of ourselves, as it should be I think. But D/S is not just a bedroom thing for us. We are silly and joke and do all the "vanilla" things, but there is never a time when, should He choose, He is not in charge, a tone, a touch a gesture and I am "in my place".

When we are apart, He knows where I am at all times, what I am doing, who I am with. Part of this is Him keeping me safe, tough to do if He didn't know where I was. But I also know where He is at all times, so if I need Him, I can reach Him day or night.

To me, that level of involvement and intimacy is lifestyle. That does not mean I am an "s" type in my life, in fact quite the opposite, nobody other than Master tells me what to do!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 34

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 2:18:53 PM

Lucienne

Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Man i hate it when school starts....then we get bombarded with all these kids that want US to be their research. Anyone got any cheese for the lab mice?

I see that you and the OP have made nice on this topic, but I've seen comments like yours before and I just have to ask-- what kind of a class would be sending students to the internet to research bdsm? Are there that many human sexuality courses out there making students write papers (sounds more like a "MP and short essay answer test" class to me) that this (using CM for research) would be a common observable phenomenon? Envisioning such a world, or a world where an academic paper is considered adequately supported by cites to CM (unless it's a paper about anecdotal fantasies), disturbs me.

/pedagogy fetish. :)

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 35

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 4:28:51 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Man i hate it when school starts....then we get bombarded with all these kids that want US to be their research. Anyone got any cheese for the lab mice?

I see that you and the OP have made nice on this topic, but I've seen comments like yours before and I just have to ask-- what kind of a class would be sending students to the internet to research bdsm? Are there that many human sexuality courses out there making students write papers (sounds more like a "MP and short essay answer test" class to me) that this (using CM for research) would be a common observable phenomenon? Envisioning such a world, or a world where an academic paper is considered adequately supported by cites to CM (unless it's a paper about anecdotal fantasies), disturbs me.

/pedagogy fetish. :)

i have seen a good share of students on the message boards looking for school material. i made a wrong assumption about the OP's question, and i'm grateful she accepted my apology.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Lucienne)

Post #: 36

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 4:41:04 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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Well IF anyone's willing to accept the Wiki view of lifestyle, then yes, for me, the D/s part of bdsm has become the chosen lifestyle. It is part of who i am at all times since i am Master's sub at all times. It is the way i live, and there are a characteristic bundle of behaviours that go along with that. It reflects my values and world views too. And should I ever find a sub to be part of this family, then poly would be an addition to "the lifestyle" (at the moment we are poly at heart and in thought, just not in deed).

However, this is not something I think is important enough to get hung up on ... people embrace bdsm in a wide range of ways, and whether someone takes it to the lifestyle level or not isn't important. It only becomes so when one person in the relationship wants to and the other does not!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Post #: 37

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 4:50:37 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ellise56

sorry if this has been post a lot i have to read it. but it is a question that i want everyone's opinion on. Is BDSM a lifestyle and why is that your view?

Some believe it is and many do not. I think it is a way of life which I have incorporated into my everyday living.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to Ellise56)

Post #: 38

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 5:02:48 PM

PsyVamp

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I'll throw my hat into the ring here.

I incorporate BDSM into my life. I prefer to have kink positive friends, the events I attend usually have a kink theme. Most of the social networks I'm in are kink friendly communities. I also have friends, interests and work that have nothing to do with kink.
Do I call it a lifestyle? Yes, I've been known to refer to it as such. Do I care if you don't? Not at all. To each his own.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to Ellise56)

Post #: 39

RE: Lifestyle or not a Lifestyle - 11/14/2009 5:20:53 PM

MasterK13

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Joined: 11/13/2009
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I agree with KateyCaine's post and thats why I veiw it as a lifestyle.

< Message edited by MasterK13 -- 11/14/2009 5:23:01 PM >

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Post #: 40

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