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RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 4:01:18 PM   
NibbyJibby


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		ErikaTate1, yes true... before committing and presenting myself for servitude i am determining compatability and my perception of power exchange with Mistress... and the idea of cumming on Mistress, idea of cumming on Her at same time as Her partner or doing so as he watches simply does not fit my perception of a Mistress. It seems my viewpoint is opposite of many here. That gives me thought and greater awareness, but still it does not fit into what i am learning is my narrow minded cookie cutter perspective. Although i will search for someone more compatable with my thoughts and values, my eyes are being opened.

(in reply to ErikaTate1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 4:26:46 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NibbyJibby

porcelaine, thank you for your articulate insight. you have caused me to think and to ponder deeper. Absolute true the hallmark of submission is yielding and service, i concur and sincerely believe i do uphold this hallmark.

My  concern or discomfort is in wondering if i would be serving Mistress or would She and i be serving his pleasures. My hopes and aspirations were high but as we converse and revelations come forthy it is as you say... we are not compatable. Still i am curious and seeking opinions of others. Again thank you for your wisdom and insight... and most importantly for making me think and contemplate deeper still. 


you're most welcome. i'm curious since you mention serving as a slave in the past. i would gather with that experience you'd already possess the answer to the question posed. this situation could provide an opportunity for you to expand your boundaries and to give serious consideration concerning the dynamics you're interested in becoming involved with.

as a slave you don't own her time. as long as she meets your needs and is pleased with your service, the other party is of no consequence. if you take offense to his presence and willingly entered the relationship knowing he was going to be a factor, who's fault is that? if you prefer to be in a relationship that is monogamous that is what you should seek. however, i caution you to remember your station and the reality that changes can occur. be very honest with yourself before you commit to something you might regret later on.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to NibbyJibby)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 4:28:45 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Sounds to me as if you maybe incompatable.
Very few submissives, I would have thought, are submissive to every Dom/me.
To be perfectly honest I would question any woman's dominant nature if she is submissive to her husband.
You can love someone without submitting to them.
The question you have to ask is
Is she doing this for herself or her husband?
If he's pulling the strings then your not submitting to her your submitting to him.
Relationships are complicated.
I provide a service to my customers but it doesn't mean I'm submissive to them.
Submissives have as much right to be happy in their relationships as Dominants.
Your obviously not happy about this part of your relationship but noone is happy all the time.
I hope that has helped.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 6:53:42 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		One can say that a slave has no right to judge what his Mistress does, but is that really so?  If you find out that your boss at work, your parent, or any other person in authority over you behaved in a way you believed to be less than honorable, you would have an opinion on it.  In order to worship a woman, one has to see her as deserving of worship.  I could never be a slave to a woman who did bukkake videos.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to NibbyJibby)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 7:03:28 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I can not fathom idea for a slave to cum on a Mistress as power exchange or of respect for Her


For Carol and I, your entire post is not fathomable. Carol is my property to do with as I will until such time as she chooses to not be mine anymore. HER values, HER thoughts, and HER opinions are not really relevant to the conversation. If I gave Carol such a command, along with a host of other and way more difficult commands, I would expect her to obey them. That is what it means to be my slave. As long as she is mine, the only "value" I expect of her is obedience.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to NibbyJibby)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 7:04:47 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I don't know what's "dishonorable" about making bukkake vids, but Kal does make an excellent point---it's vital to know if dominant and submissive share the same values, are icked out by the same things, have similar views on life.  Slavery entails obedience and service, and I can't imagine wanting to enter into a service arrangement with someone who felt very differently from me about key issues. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 7:24:05 PM   
NibbyJibby


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		switch84, i agree wholeheartily if in a relationship with a Mistress and would have no qualms with it. Difference here is we are at introductory stage and have not yet physically met... setting and exploring ground rules so to speak. The concept of a slave cumming on Mistress is new to me and i at first did not consider it something a slave would do with a Mistress. Perhaps i was naive but it had not crossed my mind. For me it took away  in a small way took away some lustre of Her dominance, especially as i had the sense doing so in conjunction Her partner and him watching i felt as if we would be pleasing him. Perhaps that is also normal for a Mistress, but it remains foreign to me. however with the comments received i am slowly being enlightened.

(in reply to switch84)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 7:26:58 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		NibbyJibby, I guess I don't understand why you care, since you've decided that you are incompatible. It's something you don't want to do, whether or not it's a limit, so if it's important to you, find someone who isn't interested in it. Trying to analyse whether she is Dominant or "real" or whatever strikes me as a bit rude.

slavekal, I'd have difficulty dating someone who was making porn/etc. to sell, but I don't see bukake as any more dishonorable than any other aspect of the industry, and there certainly wasn't anything to suggest that the Domme Nibby was referring to was interested in having any strangers do that to her - she wanted her *partners* to.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 8/31/2009 7:31:13 PM >

(in reply to NibbyJibby)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 7:50:27 PM   
NibbyJibby


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		lateralist1, thank you, your words are a breath of fresh air as they reflect my concerns, doubts, confusion and curiousity most closely. True the aspect i mentioned does make me think we are incompatable and as we are/were at introductory stage i do not feel compelled to just blindly jump in and blindly obey a concept opposite my beliefs/expectations. For that it, with me it would have to be a ongoing relationship and connection  to go against my preconceived beliefs. Indeed i have had limits that are limits no more and one day this could fall into that catagory.
Your comment is bang-on with my doubt and curiosity... is she doing this for Her or Her partner/lover. I aspire to please Her but my submission is not geared to pleasing him. To accept and respect him, yes absolute... he is Her love and lover, but it is not my desire to submit to males or to be used for the pleasure of such. I feel/suspect he is the true Alpha  and confess i am uncomfortable with that aspect. That is my quandry, i feel indirectly i would be submitting to him, perhaps Her and i both are. That is not where my heart and soul, my submisssive lust is focussed.
I appreciate You have understood and given input other than simply to say i should blindly obey. That i do not believe with a relationship that has not begun beyond the introductory stage. That is something that comes as a relationship strengthens and develops.
Thank you for Your reply.

(in reply to lateralist1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 8:06:39 PM   
NibbyJibby


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		slavekal, right or wrong that is what i have done. I am in search of a Mistress, a special Mistress, hopefully the perfect Mistress for me and so i have judged. As i search i am with opinion and expectation based upon past experience, beliefs and interests. Your words "In order to worship a woman, one has to see her as deserving of worship." is bang-on with my own beliefs. I do not believe i should enter a new relationship and blindly obey if i am with doubt or confusion. But if i see Her as deserving of worship absolute i will worship and i wish to ensure i worship Her and am not inadvertently worshipping another.
However i have received sufficient feedback to now see and accept a slave exploding cum on Mistresscan be normal power exchange.   

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 8:11:21 PM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NibbyJibby

Have been sub/slave for many years and in recent chat with a Mistress i aspired to serve, i found myself perplexed at the concept of a partner(Her other half) cumming on Her and/or him watching our inteactions and watching as i do the same. To read such i also am with difficulty in viewing Her as a Mistress although in every other aspect She portrays what i view to be dominance and Mistress. To my way of thinking a slave does not cum on a Mistress especially as her partner watches. Also i see a heirarchy and difference between Domme, Mistress and Goddess.

In response to my reaction i was informed... "you are or were taught things that are of old guard...I am not in this, I live in the now" and "hear it so often, i believe it to be a normal thing". also was informed  others see no distinction between Domme, Mistress, Goddess.

My curiosity is if at my ripe old age am i old guard  and outdated with my beliefs and perceptions?  I can not fathom idea for a slave to cum on a Mistress as power exchange or of respect for Her. My sense is She is subservient to Her partner.

Mostly curious to know what the heck is normal now-a-days... are my values outdated, but i think not and i intend to abide by them as they have served me well... but i am sincerely perplexed and curious. 


Just sounds to me that she's getting what she wants and is enjoying cuckolding each of you in turn. It goes all along the line I hear from guys about seeing penetration as subservient. It's just not so for some Dommes.

Just sayin...

boi

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 8/31/2009 8:13:31 PM >

_____________________________


Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to NibbyJibby)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 8:16:10 PM   
NibbyJibby


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Andalusite, i care to learn, i care to be enlightened and if with curiosity i care to have it explored. If i do not see or understand then i prefer to have vision and insight. To move on i now do so with with greater awareness thanks to those who have offered their own constructive insight to my query.  

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 10:25:01 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NibbyJibby

Have been sub/slave for many years and in recent chat with a Mistress i aspired to serve, i found myself perplexed at the concept of a partner(Her other half) cumming on Her and/or him watching our inteactions and watching as i do the same. To read such i also am with difficulty in viewing Her as a Mistress although in every other aspect She portrays what i view to be dominance and Mistress. To my way of thinking a slave does not cum on a Mistress especially as her partner watches. Also i see a heirarchy and difference between Domme, Mistress and Goddess.

In response to my reaction i was informed... "you are or were taught things that are of old guard...I am not in this, I live in the now" and "hear it so often, i believe it to be a normal thing". also was informed  others see no distinction between Domme, Mistress, Goddess.

My curiosity is if at my ripe old age am i old guard  and outdated with my beliefs and perceptions?  I can not fathom idea for a slave to cum on a Mistress as power exchange or of respect for Her. My sense is She is subservient to Her partner.

Mostly curious to know what the heck is normal now-a-days... are my values outdated, but i think not and i intend to abide by them as they have served me well... but i am sincerely perplexed and curious. 


An individual is not Dominant or submissive based on their activities. The fact that she is Dominant while she involves herself with you is the only real thing you need to concern yourself with. Not all activites must be associated with their positionThere is no heirarchy Just because someone calls themselves something does not make them that. Just concern yourself with your Mistress and don't worry about akk the useless cr*p.

Everything is normnal. If you enjoy something, then do it. There is no right or wrong only preference. I don't know alot about the old guard but what I have heard has been very positive

< Message edited by Acer49 -- 8/31/2009 10:26:47 PM >

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to NibbyJibby)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Domme Perception - 8/31/2009 10:38:08 PM   
DominaLTulsa


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/24/2008
Status: offline 		Subvert the paradigm!!!!!

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Domme Perception - 9/1/2009 12:43:32 AM   
MsMillgrove


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		to the OP

Maybe you didn't have a lot of lovers or adventurous ladies in your life, so maybe you don't realize how exciting a lot of women (vanilla/kinky/whatever) find the act of ejaculation.. especially seeing it come out of the penis. And they like to feel it spurt on their body.
(not on the face or hair) but other spots. It's virile, powerful, hot.

If you did it a couple times and saw how excited and happy it made your Lady, maybe you would change your mind on it.

Personally I don't like other people present during intimate acts.. just me. I like one-to-one only. Maybe you don't like the idea of the other male being there. period. Nothing about who is serving whom. You don't want to watch a woman, who is your mistress, being pleasured or giving pleasure to another man. Some people don't.

What I didn't appreciate tho was this sudden leap over to the idea that this woman is not a domme or ranking below a goddess? (what is that about. ???.. those are just titles femdoms like to use as forms of address).

Who are you to say this about her? Does she say you're a lesser quality sub because you're not used to coming on femdoms? That kind of talk is insulting all around. Sounds like she's not the domme for you, but this issue about 3 person sexual encounters and subs spurting on mistresses is your issue, not hers. She really doesn't deserve to have her authority as a mistress called into question in this way.

(in reply to DominaLTulsa)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Domme Perception - 9/1/2009 2:57:38 AM   
NibbyJibby


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		If i was already in service and relationship established it would not be a issue for me. However in search and at initial stages i do see compatability and similar interests as important and valid. Mostly i am curious if my perception of a slave cumming on Mistress and of partner watching makes Her dominance any less... in having read replies and input from others who have elaborated upon my curiosity and doubt, i see my perception is wrong. I have learned for a slave to cum upon Mistress is normal in power exchange and servitude. Previous to this i had not believed such and it made so i questionedmy confussion.  

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Domme Perception - 9/1/2009 3:09:03 AM   
NibbyJibby


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Acer49, well said and thank you for the unbiased constructive input. True a individual is not submissive or dominant based on their activities, to already know and accept this it makes me wonder why i allowed it to become a issue for myself. Your comment and comments of others are enlightening and have given greater awareness.

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Domme Perception - 9/1/2009 3:34:44 AM   
NibbyJibby


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		MsMillgrove You are with much perception. True i have not had a lot of lovers in my life, relationships tended to be long term. In truth i had not considered the reality of hot cum giving Mistress pleasure... that aspect had not donned upon me, guess my head was too far up my butt regarding the power exchange aspect. Naive and short sighted of me as my primary desire truly is to submit and to please. To read Your words has given me insight, thank You.

Previous experiences have been one on one and although i prefer such i am open to a partner watching. The aspect of us both cumming or cumming on Mistress for His pleasure does not interest me and in back of my mind makes me wonder if i am serving Mistress or are we both serving Him. For me it is a mindfuck and has served as a distraction. It is something i can grow into yes absolute however at this introductory stage it is not a area of interest and has caused me doubt.

True what You say... She is Domme, i know it and i very much feel Her dominance and authority... my questioning and ranking was wrong and uncalled for. Thank You for expressing Yourself in non-confrontational and insightful fashion. You have opened my eyes much with Your words and understanding. Thank You.   

(in reply to MsMillgrove)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Domme Perception - 9/1/2009 4:17:42 AM   
JustStephen


Posts: 61
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NibbyJibby




My  concern or discomfort is in wondering if i would be serving Mistress or would She and i be serving his pleasures.





and if that is what your Mistress wishes why does it bother you so much?

One of the all time hot scenes I can recall is in the film Caligula when Caligulas wife to be is laying on a bed of silk and demands a naked slave to cum into a small dainty dish. She then takes the dish and smears his cum over her body. Caligula is watching the whole thing and takes some of the cum and wipes it onto his thinning hair.

Taking the cum of a slave/sub and using it for whatever purpose is in my opinion a very Dominant act.

Maria


< Message edited by JustStephen -- 9/1/2009 4:19:19 AM >

(in reply to NibbyJibby)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Domme Perception - 9/1/2009 5:22:20 AM   
NibbyJibby


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		inquizitivesub, no biting of heads.. i destest such, it serves to allow one to vent but seldom resolves much. Certainly i am not a Alpha sub, my post simply expressed a curiosity and my desire for input pertaining to a area that is uncomfortable for me and outside what perhaps was narrow minded on my part with an aspect of my perception of dominance.  Indeed those who put forth perspective and explanation have opened my eyes much and i am appreciative of their time and opinion.

In answer to Your question as to if there is always a clash... i think not. I post seldom on sites but when i do i think others accept my quest is sincere... which it is. There will always be those that bite heads off or view things only from their perspective and critizing all else. That is to be expected in a public forum. For me i accept that and seek to separate the wheat from the chaff, to learn and to grow. Those that offer constructive input and give me greater awareness i am appreciative to. I am not here to justify my own perception, i am here to gain greater understanding and to answer my curiosities via the experience and knowledge of others.

Do not hesitate to seek and to learn. For those that perchance are rude, crude, biting heads off and abrassive... do what i do... take their words in stride, ignore them or offer them warm milk and cookies. 

(in reply to inquizitivesub)
Profile   Post #: 40
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