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RE: Some thoughts on power exchange - 5/8/2009 5:43:19 PM

QuixoticErrant

Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bstardsbitch

Stability works both sides of the whip doesn't it?
As for "damsel in need of protection,.......what exactly do these submissives need protecting from?
Catize is spot on, power is a hell of a lot less real if it is not percieved as such.
x

Not debating with Katzie at all. Also I said frequently, not always. Many D/s couples have that dynamic. Why is that a bad thing to admit?

(in reply to Bstardsbitch)

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Post #: 41

RE: Some thoughts on power exchange - 5/9/2009 5:48:07 AM

SirNsPride

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Joined: 7/21/2008
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Power and control are the gifts that are fully given when the bond is open and honest

giving the power and control to the One who has earned that level of trust and worship is both humbling and elevating

the slave holds the power of the gift until it is given

Once given in love and loyalty, there is no other relationship that can be so completing.

slave needs Master to exist and Master requires slave to exist to be her Master.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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Post #: 42

RE: Some thoughts on power exchange - 5/9/2009 7:35:32 AM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
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some awesome power exchange exists when my lady my mistress fucks me with her strapons

and then when she has got me to relax and open up for her out goes the strapon and in goes her fist

once she slides in me that feeling is amazing and i just love it

great way to submit to a woman i must say ecspecially when she goes deeper

after shes done cant belive how relaxed i am

yes power exchange between a dom woman and a sub male can be a awesome thing indeed to share together

have fun mal

(in reply to SirNsPride)

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Post #: 43

RE: Some thoughts on power exchange - 5/9/2009 10:47:36 AM

QuixoticErrant

Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirNsPride

Power and control are the gifts that are fully given when the bond is open and honest
giving the power and control to the One who has earned that level of trust and worship is both humbling and elevating
the slave holds the power of the gift until it is given
Once given in love and loyalty, there is no other relationship that can be so completing.
slave needs Master to exist and Master requires slave to exist to be her Master.

That is well said.

(in reply to SirNsPride)

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Post #: 44

RE: Some thoughts on power exchange - 5/10/2009 6:05:52 PM

NorthernGent

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Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: QuixoticErrant

Let's compare that to real power. Real power means that you obey another because you feel that it is not just the best thing to do, but the *right* thing to do. Perhaps the cop had you dead to rights at that stop. You may grumble, but you know that you want to live in a lawful society and you comply for reasons other than fear. Perhaps the boss that reamed you out, in fact wants to see the best from you, and is giving you some tough love.

Real power in BDSM is when the dominant has sufficiently *earned* the trust and respect of the submissive so that they *want* to obey. That is the art of being a Dominant.

In an ideal world, all people would respond best to a secure environment that enables them to employ their reason in all security unshackled from the constraints of fear and anxiety. Were this the case, we could build a system of government that would resolve all of the ills in the world and it follows thus we would be free to live in harmonious co-existence. The problem with this is that a) it assumes people are reasonable at all times b) it ignores human behaviour.

You and I may need to be dealt a fair hand at work, but that doesn't necessarily mean all people in all situations respond best to being dealt a fair hand. Perhaps you're making assumptions based on your own ideas and perceptions - nothing wrong with that because without our ideas and perceptions what exactly do we know of the world - but I can't agree that there's a uniform, one-size fits all solution.

I'd suggest there's a balance to be had. Yes, there are rewards to be had through providing a secure environment where the other feels comfortable, but you're not necessarily dealing with a human being that is reasonable at all times; and so you'll need something other than mutual co-operation in your armoury.

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RE: Some thoughts on power exchange - 5/10/2009 8:51:53 PM

KoolnSassy

Posts: 65
Joined: 5/5/2009
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quote:

Real power in BDSM is when the dominant has sufficiently *earned* the trust and respect of the submissive so that they *want* to obey. That is the art of being a Dominant. - QuixoticErrant

I agree wholeheartedly. To me it's what makes the difference between dominant and dominating. Even someone who is not submissive can be made to submit through fear of consequences. So what's the point? No, I'd rather have no one than someone who serves me out of fear, whether that fear is fear of being alone or fear of something I may or may not do.

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If you don't know what you're doing, why do you think I know?

KoolnSassy

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Post #: 46

RE: Some thoughts on power exchange - 5/10/2009 9:03:22 PM

LadyPact

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The thing is, I liked the example because such a thing is the most natural expression in the world. It's instinct, rather than what we complicate our lives with. It just *is*. There's no debate of whether this is acceptable or not. No talk of limits, right or wrong. No question. No should I or shouldn't I. When this grabs a hold of you, there isn't anything that makes you have doubt.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Some thoughts on power exchange - 5/11/2009 1:37:40 PM

QuixoticErrant

Posts: 260
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KoolnSassy

quote:

Real power in BDSM is when the dominant has sufficiently *earned* the trust and respect of the submissive so that they *want* to obey. That is the art of being a Dominant. - QuixoticErrant

I agree wholeheartedly. To me it's what makes the difference between dominant and dominating. Even someone who is not submissive can be made to submit through fear of consequences. So what's the point? No, I'd rather have no one than someone who serves me out of fear, whether that fear is fear of being alone or fear of something I may or may not do.

Thank you so much. The Dom who is domineering in this way, without earning it quickly finds his subs will walk - unless there are some very unhealthy issues.

(in reply to KoolnSassy)

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Post #: 48