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Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 4:02:46 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
What amazes Me is, that I've yet
to meet the first submissive girl who has a problem
with calling a Domina Ma'am, or a Dominant Sir.

Calling someone Mistress, who isn't your owner,
is a way different subject, and not needed in My eyes.
Unless no one has a problem there.

Ive met more male subs who have a SERIOUS problem
to call a Dominant Sir, they always start to say, but
"I'm not into men, i serve only woman".

Calling someone Sir, doesn't mean one is going
to serve that person right? It doesn't mean you should
fall on your knees and do what ever He pleases...,

In My eyes, it's just being polite, and no one
ever died from being polite.

So what's this thing with boys & Men?

D/s is full of rules, and one of them is to be polite,
and to show respect - yes that goes both ways-.

I just don't see the point here,
can anyone enlighten Me?

I wish you enough,

and a happy Spring weekend.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

 





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~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 4:22:49 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You haven't met me obviously. I'm not going to call you Ma'am nor any random dominant male Sir. If someone has a screen name of Sir Blue, I'll just call him Blue.

I only submit to one, and that spot is filled.
Everyone else I consider myself on equal ground with.

And just as I won't call any random guy Sir, I also won't respond pleasantly if he calls me girl or little one or anything else.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 4:43:28 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		I'm with Desi..in fact..i tried to do the right thing and address a certain male as Sir and i got nothing but grief.I will give a nice to meet you and a hi how are you but no Sirs or Master being said with it.And if they are Gay or bisexual Masters...oh well??Tough cookies.I answer to one and one only.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 4:44:59 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

D/s is full of rules, and one of them is to be polite,
and to show respect - yes that goes both ways-.

While I agree with the concept of politness (calling women Ma'am and men Sir ), I also have to state that being polite is not a RULE...not in D/s, not in M/s, and not in life. It's a personal choice.

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 4:53:59 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		You won't hear me calling you Ma'am or any other title of respect either unless you have earned my respect...or unless Master requires it of me.

You have to earn that from me.  It's not given out willy nilly. I will be civil towards you, I will be polite towards you but you won't get that title just because you feel I should or because you desire it from every sub or slave in the world.

Just doesn't work that way imo.

(in reply to IrishMist)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 5:08:40 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		The only sub I expect to call me "Mistress or Ma'am" is my own. Anyone else is to call me by my name regardless of orientation, because as far as I am concerned we are all on an equal footing.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 5:24:56 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		There's a lot of poohaa about the titles Sir and Ma'am...people refusing to call people it unless they earned the respect and also people being upset at being addressed so if they did not give their approval first...
I personally like to be polite and will call you Ma'am or Mevrouw any time and any man Sir...i refer to his christian name only if he tells me to do so...if i can't use Sir i would prefer Mr and his last name really. That is just here tho...in real life i use christian names all the time and also a lot of Mr unless instructed differently.
as for anybody else...when you write an official letter to a bunch of men (respectful or otherwise) don't you automatically head it with 'dear Sirs' ? Is there a better way to start as i think  'to whom it may concern' sounds naff

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 5:38:36 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I wish I could enlighten you, but I can't.  There is a huge cultural difference between where I am and where you live.

Personally, I live in the States in the South.  Georgia, to be exact.  Sir and Ma'am are not uncommon here in all of life and that easily transfers among folks who are into wiitwd.  In fact, people fond of the practice will very proudly tell you that they were "raised right" when they address others in this fashion.  There's no issue over it.  Many were brought up all their lives with being taught that is how to address someone.

This is one of the things that I will miss a great deal in the coming months when I move west again. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ranja)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 5:44:36 AM   
goodpet


Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
While I agree with the concept of politness (calling women Ma'am and men Sir ), I also have to state that being polite is not a RULE...not in D/s, not in M/s, and not in life. It's a personal choice.


So true. Polite behavior is one trait that set people apart from others.   I use Sir or Ma'am  out of politeness, and only call someone Master or Mistress who I know and respect and then uses it a part of their title with their name. 

In RL a lot of our friends come from the Gay Leather community and when they have been given the title, i respect that title and call them with the full name,  "Master Nick", "Mistress Jenn".  it does not make me theirs, they know that... duh..    it's just polite and nice.

The only one i use just the title  "Master"  alone with is my ower.  (unless i am doing a very poor imitation of Egor,  dragging a foot saying.. "master, master..Egor will get that for you...."  that usually gets me giggle and then a swat...)

No one forces you to be polite, however, everyone notices.  (ok, your master might make you but it will show usually).  If it does not fit your style then don't worry about those who do.

~ann



(in reply to IrishMist)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 5:45:57 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I'm another one who rarely uses  "sir" or "ma'am".  A stranger may get an off-hand "sir" or "ma'am" out of politeness, but typically only if they are very advanced in years. 

Pfft.  I won't address just any dominant as "sir"... out of respect, politeness, or anything else.  Even my very own, who as a former military officer would be very comfortable being called "sir", will only hear that from me occasionally in response to a dominantly decisive directive.  As a former military enlisted, the address of "sir" means to me a way of emotional distancing and setting apart.  That's the very last thing I want in my relationship with Firm, and thankfully he doesn't require it.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 5:49:50 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

...when you write an official letter to a bunch of men (respectful or otherwise) don't you automatically head it with 'dear Sirs' ? Is there a better way to start as i think  'to whom it may concern' sounds naff


I don't.  I use simply "Gentlemen," as the salutation.

(in reply to ranja)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 5:50:10 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		Your actually complaining that people you've met (i.e. have no relationship with) refuse to live according to your fantasy   Who died and made you lord high bananapants?

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 5:53:27 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		...smiles at the thought of LadyPact moving west...

GoddezzT',

I learned about D/s in the online environment of Second Life, where I am, in a sense, "in character" (I play there as a woman).  The woman who plays as my Mistress in SL has instructed me that I am to address only her as Mistress and others as Miss or Ma'am.  I tend to address Dom(me)s as Sir, Miss or Ma'am when writing here or in cmail,  I suppose partly because I'm corresponding in the same fashion.  When speaking in person, it doesn't come as naturally to me other than politely, as LadyPact described.

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 6:00:34 AM   
manxcat


Posts: 673
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline 		I use Sir and Ma'am when addressing service personnel, or certain people in authority, as a term of respect, no matter what their age (unless they are rude).  That is how i was raised, and has no geographic distinction, but is simply a mannerly way of behaving. 
As for any sub/slave addressing me as Mistress or Ma'am, not for me, only mine, as that is a privilege.

manxcat


_________________
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 6:17:15 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I use sir and maam all the time. It has absolutely nothing to do with ds, it's the way I was raised. Most of the time I do it without even thinking. If I am introduced to someone, I use the name I am given. If for instance I am at a party and my freind comes up and says "I want you to meet Master David", I would say "nice to meet you Master David. This doesn't mean I think he is my master. It is the way he wants to be addressed and it is how I will address him. If the same person came up and said I want you to meet Toaster David. I would say nice to meet you Toaster David. I wouldn't say, "but he's not my toaster" If that is how he wants to be addresses then why would I care. Now I might walk away and think that he is an nut case for wanting to be called toaster, but I would not say that to him. I would treat him with respect until he showed me he was not worth it. .

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 6:18:36 AM   
MasterAudeamus


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/4/2009
Status: offline 		If a potential sub or slave asks how they should address me, I recommend "sir." I too am from the South and appreciate politeness. It is a little thing, not a deal breaker. For me, my lifestyle requires a LOT of communication, so I find an element of politeness, or a formal manner of speaking, a very welcome thing. No matter what lengths you are willing to go to, and no matter whether you are a good or bad person, there is always a question of style.

(in reply to YoursMistress)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 7:10:37 AM   
crazyredhead1957


Posts: 189
Joined: 12/10/2008
Status: offline 		i always use the terms "Sir" and "Ma'am" to address Dominants, unless They say to just call Them by Their names. i only use the term "Master" in reference to my own, or would say "Mistress" if i had a femDomme.  i also will say Sir or Ma'am to service personnel and people older than me.  It's a matter of respect, i was raised that way, even in the Pacific Northwest.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 7:29:15 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I know women that have much more of a problem with this than men.  For some, using "Sir" or another title comes very hard.  It is not that they are trying purposely not to be polite but because no trust has been built between them and this person and they feel that the person has not yet earned the right to that title from them.  They may have by everyone else in the community, but not yet by that particular sub/slave.  I have as much respect for those that stand by their feelings as for those who are simply polite because they feel it is important to follow proper etiquette.

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 7:45:28 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		i grew up in the military,  Sir and Ma'am were the expected norms.  my father's family is from the south, again, those titles were expected, else, i expected to swallow my teeth.  if i know someone follows the ethos of gor, i address them as Master or Mistress, its expected, and their desire to be so addressed.  outside of that, i will address by their given name until instructed differently.  its not out of a lack of respect.  so many people  in the lifestyle get uptight about anyone but their own calling them Master or Mistress.  another group get uptight about being addressed as Ma'am or Sir.  if you like a particular title, i will use it.

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 8:06:10 AM   
chezzy71


Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline 		i was called Sir when i first moved to Virginia by someone about thirty years older than me...that as polite as it is screwed me up...hey i am from New York and answer to "hey you"..in fact call me anything you want..just don't call me late for dinner.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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