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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 8:10:42 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
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Oh sure, like that, "My clitoris is bigger than your penis.........Sir", taunting never happens.

chia* (the pet)


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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 9:15:28 AM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		i grew up with both parents and both sets of grandparents being from Oklahoma and Arkansa, for my siblings and i growing up calling all men "Sir" and all women "Ma'am" was expected. For me, the tone behind it is what matters. The tone is what sets the whole thing, i can call Master, "Sir" and have it sound much different than if i call a customer "Sir" at work. 

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 9:33:22 AM   
justgemmie


Posts: 246
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I use sir and maam all the time. It has absolutely nothing to do with ds, it's the way I was raised. Most of the time I do it without even thinking. If I am introduced to someone, I use the name I am given. If for instance I am at a party and my freind comes up and says "I want you to meet Master David", I would say "nice to meet you Master David. This doesn't mean I think he is my master. It is the way he wants to be addressed and it is how I will address him. If the same person came up and said I want you to meet Toaster David. I would say nice to meet you Toaster David. I wouldn't say, "but he's not my toaster" If that is how he wants to be addresses then why would I care. Now I might walk away and think that he is an nut case for wanting to be called toaster, but I would not say that to him. I would treat him with respect until he showed me he was not worth it. .


nicely said and ditto for how i respond also  :)   i also do as tazzy does, which is for examples, in a Gorean setting i say Master and Mistress and is appropriate, and in a vanilla setting i call folks Mr. X or Ms. X or however they then tell me to address them.  i'm polite and appropriate (whenever i can be)

gemmie

< Message edited by justgemmie -- 4/3/2009 9:38:11 AM >

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 10:14:34 AM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		Given that my husband and I are both dominants, it comes up.

His Kitten is very much into verbal protocol, and calls me Ma'am. I didn't have to say that, which was nice. I expect any male subs I take who come into my household to call my husband "Sir" when addressing him, but unless we are in a scene together, I don't expect him to necessarily take orders, and I would not ask him to provide my husband with intimate service unless the sub had indicated willingness to in general and in the particular case.

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 10:35:09 AM   
Stephen123456


Posts: 25
Joined: 3/31/2009
Status: offline 		I must amplify on the following,quoted from LadyPact:
"Personally, I live in the States in the South.  Georgia, to be exact.  Sir and Ma'am are not uncommon here in all of life and that easily transfers among folks who are into wiitwd.  In fact, people fond of the practice will very proudly tell you that they were "raised right" when they address others in this fashion.  There's no issue over it.  Many were brought up all their lives with being taught that is how to address someone.

This is one of the things that I will miss a great deal in the coming months when I move west again."

Where you were raised has everything to do with how you deal with everyday courtesies, especially amongst those born before the 60's. I was born in Texas, and raised in the south, BY southern-raised parents. It was just expected of you to use "Sir" and "Maam"  ie "Excuse me, Sir," "Pardon me, Maam", etc. when adressing adults, your elders and ANYONE in a social situation who hadn't asked you to adress them by their given name, and regardless of gender. To do otherwise was to make not only yourself  look an impolite, uncultured boor, but to bring question upon your upbringing. (NOT taken lightly by those of soutrhern upbringing) As I interpret it, RESPECT is given until/unless it is proven to be unwarranted, TRUST is earned, and not given untill it is. You do not belittle yourself by courtesy, and you reflect well upon not only those who raised you, but those whom you represent/serve.

stephen123456 

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 11:24:39 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
Well I live in The Netherlands,
and I'm used to call people Mevrouw (Ma'am) and Meneer( Sir) which is just polite, and hasn't got anything to do with D/s.

Being polite cost nothing, so that's why I ask subs to call Me Ma'am here too, indeed it has to do with upbringing, what's normal for Me.

I just wonder why it's so different for male subs, but apparently they are all on holiday.

And I do see that more female subs just call their owners such,
here it's just polite to call someone that.

So that's why it made Me wonder.


Have a great weekend.

GoddezzT`


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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 11:49:24 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Sir is my father's name

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 11:58:23 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

What amazes Me is, that I've yet
to meet the first submissive girl who has a problem
with calling a Domina Ma'am, or a Dominant Sir.

Calling someone Mistress, who isn't your owner,
is a way different subject, and not needed in My eyes.
Unless no one has a problem there.

Ive met more male subs who have a SERIOUS problem
to call a Dominant Sir, they always start to say, but
"I'm not into men, i serve only woman".

Calling someone Sir, doesn't mean one is going
to serve that person right? It doesn't mean you should
fall on your knees and do what ever He pleases...,

In My eyes, it's just being polite, and no one
ever died from being polite.

So what's this thing with boys & Men?

D/s is full of rules, and one of them is to be polite,
and to show respect - yes that goes both ways-.

I just don't see the point here,
can anyone enlighten Me?

I wish you enough,

and a happy Spring weekend.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

 






GT,

Well as you see you get some crap from the new agers and understanding and agreement from the more experienced path walkers.

A good post!

CP

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 12:33:46 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

Well I live in The Netherlands,
and I'm used to call people Mevrouw (Ma'am) and Meneer( Sir) which is just polite, and hasn't got anything to do with D/s.

Being polite cost nothing, so that's why I ask subs to call Me Ma'am here too, indeed it has to do with upbringing, what's normal for Me.

I just wonder why it's so different for male subs, but apparently they are all on holiday.




I think this is something that varies a lot from country to country, and region to region. In my usual social circles, anyone who went around routinely calling people sir and ma'am would probably be considered a bit stiff and excessively formal. When I use these forms of address in a vanilla context, I'm either being ironic, unusually deferential, or unusually emphatic.

In the BDSM world, I usually call Mistress the equivalent of "ma'am" in her native language. If I were free, I'd have no problem calling dominants sir or ma'am (or meneer or mevrouw, for that matter) once they'd made it clear they wanted to be addressed that way. Being property, I'll have to remember to ask Mistress how she wants me to address dominants other than her. I've never really thought about it before, and my default has always been to just use their names, like I do with the rest of humanity.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 4:58:45 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		I don't know, GoddessTeaze...

I call everyone 'Sir' or 'Ma'am' until we have an informal relationships (and if one doesn't develop, it's sir, Ma'am, Mr, Ms. or Miss). For me it's a sign of respect for someone, not deference, and one I've taken to showing to anyone whom I don't know or who doesn't introduce themselves as a peer of mine. When I start teaching, I'll likely take to calling my students Mister and Miss and using their last names, while similarly requiring myself and all other teachers to be addressed that way. 'Sir' is equal to 'Mister' to me, though, and doesn't hold any special BDSM significance, likewise with 'Ma'am' and 'Miss' or 'Ms.' so that may color my answer.

I don't see it as overly formal, just polite *shrug* I like being polite, and I think it's an important quality to teach.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 6:58:46 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		My father is sir. Even though I classify myself as a Dom, I call women Ma'am. This is a reflection on the manners my mother taught me.
I don't do it to submit (hell, I can't even take orders from my boss), I do it out of respect for women.
That does not mean I am no loner a Dom, but geesh folks, I'm sure not going to have women all over, who don't know me and aren't in a relationship with me, call me Sir or Master all the time.
I'm waiting to hear that from "that special lady".
By the way, the difference between a male submissive and a female submissive:
Men have cocks, women have pussies.
:)


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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 8:05:31 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe the guys you meet think that calling a man "Sir" is submitting to him, but calling a woman "Mistress" isn't submitting to her? Weird but maybe that's what those guys you meet are thinking?

When subs apply to us they have to address us as Mistress, Goddess, Queen, etc or we trash their application. To be our slave they can't be insecure about respecting women.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 8:55:09 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

The only sub I expect to call me "Mistress or Ma'am" is my own. Anyone else is to call me by my name regardless of orientation, because as far as I am concerned we are all on an equal footing.

~Lashra



To play devil's advocate "Lashra"..... what of those dozens who come across your profile where ever it may be (they, not going to any form of blogging or forums) and call you Ma'am only because it is the respectful and polite thing to do on a WIITWD website.
 
Are you gonna be rude and spiteful and disrespectful and impolite and ignore them?  Or will you correct them?
Or will you do as you do here, just matter of frankly, yet politely and respectfully tell them you are Lashra.
 
I am not picking on Lashra, I only play devil's advocate to everyone, everyone who thinks they can and will ignore, disrespect and rudely snobbish and never respond to matters of orientation or a request when someone knows they are being respectful and polite when mailing.

< Message edited by RealSub58 -- 4/3/2009 8:57:08 PM >

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 9:41:04 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		The only people I'll call sir or ma'am are older people, customers, and my Dom.

Edit: I'm definitely a woman, and this was in response to the OP.

< Message edited by graceadieu -- 4/3/2009 9:42:04 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/3/2009 11:57:34 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		The way it was explained to me in the military.  Your saluting the office/ title  not the person.  Whether the person deserves respect doesnt matter.  So you may think our pres is a complete moron which btfw he is. But ya gotta respect the office he holds.  So you call him Mister MORON pres.  Im down wit dat.

Lust ya oh goddess maam BadOne


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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/4/2009 12:25:12 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy
By the way, the difference between a male submissive and a female submissive:
Men have cocks, women have pussies.
:)



you must B kidding !!!

There r more differences really !!

Have a good weekend.

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/4/2009 12:29:12 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Maybe the guys you meet think that calling a man "Sir" is submitting to him, but calling a woman "Mistress" isn't submitting to her? Weird but maybe that's what those guys you meet are thinking?



That is what I was referring too..I notice
this with men , as if they don't have a choice any more
to say I don't want to serve you, amazing how their minds works.

I wish you enough

GoddezzT`.



_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/4/2009 12:30:33 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RealSub58

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

The only sub I expect to call me "Mistress or Ma'am" is my own. Anyone else is to call me by my name regardless of orientation, because as far as I am concerned we are all on an equal footing.

~Lashra



To play devil's advocate "Lashra"..... what of those dozens who come across your profile where ever it may be (they, not going to any form of blogging or forums) and call you Ma'am only because it is the respectful and polite thing to do on a WIITWD website.

Are you gonna be rude and spiteful and disrespectful and impolite and ignore them?  Or will you correct them?
Or will you do as you do here, just matter of frankly, yet politely and respectfully tell them you are Lashra.



Good question !!

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/4/2009 12:32:22 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

The way it was explained to me in the military.  Your saluting the office/ title  not the person.  Whether the person deserves respect doesnt matter.  So you may think our pres is a complete moron which btfw he is. But ya gotta respect the office he holds.  So you call him Mister MORON pres.  Im down wit dat.

Lust ya oh goddess maam BadOne



Hello sexy BadOne you !!!

We don't live in the Military now do we Sir? *EG*

But still
~ politeness cost nothing~

Have a good weekend.

Smooch

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/5/2009 4:16:02 AM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		Okay, I got my own lil skew on this one . . . lol . .. .

I was raised 'polite' & all that, & so the 'sir' & 'miss' or 'ma'am' can come out quite easily, but what I discovered when I started bottoming was that it was a relief to not have to remember people's names . . .. . lol

I get my family & loved one's names all mixed up on a regular basis, it's just one o' those things, nothing personal, just the jumble of cross-connected wires in my head . .... . lol . . . . But for me, saying any of those titles means I don't have to keep track of a name while I'm supposed to be letting go . .. . . lol

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(in reply to GoddessTeaze)
Profile   Post #: 40
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