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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/5/2009 5:57:10 AM

Aly055

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I work at a local pizza store here in Maine I genrally try to use people's names if I know them, but if I don't it's sir or ma'am. I do find it slightly uncomforable when I have someone call me ma'am on the phone or in person because I'm only 19 and it's just weird for me because it dosent' happen often. As far as my dom goes I'm working on using sir more often, but it's not a rule. I asked him about it and he said whatever I was comforable with; the biggest thing is just showing respect in my other actions. Although I'm finding during an intense scene the sir comes out quite a bit more often and it just feels natural. As far as private messages on here I just normally say hi I don't end up using someone's title.

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/5/2009 10:19:59 AM

GoddessTeaze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aly055

I work at a local pizza store here in Maine I genrally try to use people's names if I know them, but if I don't it's sir or ma'am. I do find it slightly uncomforable when I have someone call me ma'am on the phone or in person because I'm only 19 and it's just weird for me because it dosent' happen often. As far as my dom goes I'm working on using sir more often, but it's not a rule. I asked him about it and he said whatever I was comforable with; the biggest thing is just showing respect in my other actions. Although I'm finding during an intense scene the sir comes out quite a bit more often and it just feels natural. As far as private messages on here I just normally say hi I don't end up using someone's title.

If I get an email from someone on here,
who said "hi".....
I consider that rude, I would like to b addressed
by My name to say the least, but that's already
too much to ask for is My impression.

I don't respond to such an emails, since
I like subs to b polite.

Communication is where it starts with.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/5/2009 2:32:38 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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GT, I'm not likely to call anyone goddess. So if I had reason to email you, I probably wouldn't call you by name.
And Hi is an informal greeting here, not a rude one, simply an informal one.

However English doesn't have formal and informal you like Spanish does, and this may influence why we are not formal in conversation. If you're Spanish or French, and I'm assuming the other Romance languages, then the language comes with a built in formality. Tu vs Usted, easy to see which is formal and if you choose the formal one, then it would be natural enough for the rest of the email to follow in tone.

But not in English. Plus in the Northeast, like New York where I am or Maine where Aly is, it is customary to just say hi when introduced. It isn't rude for us to do this. Sir and Ma'am are Southern U.S.A. usages, not Northern.

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/6/2009 2:19:27 AM

kidwithknife

Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
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I generally avoid high protocol events, so the issue doesn't arise that much.

However, when it does, if someone wants to be addressed by a honorific, I'll do so. My view is its no skin off my nose, but obviously important to them. (I reserve the right to visibly snigger at anyone claiming to be a "pope" or an "emperor" however).

That said, I generally assume that anybody who puts that much stock in titles and formality is unlikely to be 'my kind of people". So I'll make enough small talk to be polite before moving on to someone I'm more likely to get on with.

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/6/2009 2:55:07 AM

subboi3382

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKQ5QSFNbf0

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy
By the way, the difference between a male submissive and a female submissive:
Men have cocks, women have pussies.
:)

you must B kidding !!!

There r more differences really !!

Have a good weekend.

GoddezzT`

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/6/2009 6:29:40 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
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From: The Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

GT, I'm not likely to call anyone goddess. So if I had reason to email you, I probably wouldn't call you by name.
And Hi is an informal greeting here, not a rude one, simply an informal one.

However English doesn't have formal and informal you like Spanish does, and this may influence why we are not formal in conversation. If you're Spanish or French, and I'm assuming the other Romance languages, then the language comes with a built in formality. Tu vs Usted, easy to see which is formal and if you choose the formal one, then it would be natural enough for the rest of the email to follow in tone.

But not in English. Plus in the Northeast, like New York where I am or Maine where Aly is, it is customary to just say hi when introduced. It isn't rude for us to do this. Sir and Ma'am are Southern U.S.A. usages, not Northern.

All those automatic copy- paste emails
start with "hi" too.

That's why I don't bother even to read on.

And that's how difficult it is, since it's different for
every one from a different part of the world,
what one likes/prefers/dislikes.

Who said that communication was simple ??

GoddezzT`

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Post #: 46

RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/6/2009 6:37:30 AM

DesFIP

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Well, if I had reason to cmail you, it would be in reference to a post, and I always put the thread title in the subject line. So that would be a clue it wouldn't be a form letter.

But yes, mail from people you don't know gets looked at askance. Even if they claim to just want to be friends, I don't believe it.

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/6/2009 9:30:55 AM

subtlebutterfly

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I don't put that much meaning into labels. Ma'am, Sir...it's just the way you address people. Sometimes I need to do it at work sometimes not.
I mean...really..it's just ma'am and sir..it's not like I'm going to be licking their butts

(and no I'm not one of the butt licker fetishists I'm just sayin..)

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/6/2009 10:04:10 AM

Aynne88

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Me as well Des. I don't call any man Master but my Master. And calling a domina Ma'am? Why? Respect goes both ways, I am a dominant woman in my day to day life, and I am not likely ever going to use honorifics with Doms of either sex. Besides, I learned the hard way a long time ago, I did address another dominant as "Sir" and my Sir took the privelege of calling him that away from me for quite some time, and I hated it. But the punishment fit the crime, he was right. It did not happen again.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You haven't met me obviously. I'm not going to call you Ma'am nor any random dominant male Sir. If someone has a screen name of Sir Blue, I'll just call him Blue.

I only submit to one, and that spot is filled.
Everyone else I consider myself on equal ground with.

And just as I won't call any random guy Sir, I also won't respond pleasantly if he calls me girl or little one or anything else.

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/6/2009 11:44:34 PM

GoddessTeaze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

I don't put that much meaning into labels. Ma'am, Sir...it's just the way you address people. Sometimes I need to do it at work sometimes not.
I mean...really..it's just ma'am and sir..it's not like I'm going to be licking their butts (and no I'm not one of the butt licker fetishists I'm just sayin..)

Gosh amazing that it's being compared
to asslicking...

What is totally normal here, is asslicking in your book.

How strange the world turns !

~ Amazing how We expect people to live together in this world,
and to understand each other ! ~

GoddezzT`

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/9/2009 1:10:19 PM

pdv99

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Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
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Whoa - there's a whole mess of cultural baggage tied up in this naming thing, as well as BDSM conventions. I'm used to being called sir at work, and call colleague's sir or Miss in front of others - but I'm with the previous poster - call me what you like socially, it won't bother me. However if you want to show respect call me "Mister XXXXXX" or (sir if you don't know my name)and your good manners will be appreciated. If we are friends - i.e. we've at least been introduced, you can call me by my first name, but it WILL annoy me if you use my first name when you just read it off a form and are trying to sell me something. I'll call you whatever you want to be called - but don't think just because I call you Master <Swellhead> means I give you any authority or respect by it. Oh, and if I randomly call you Sir after you told me to call you Michael last time we met, it just means I've forgotten your name. Or possible forgotten you altogether.

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/9/2009 3:57:30 PM

DavanKael

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I don't call anyone Sir or Ma'am as a matter of course, unless I'm being bitchey. I don't use honorifics or allow other to use honorifics toward me unless they're earned.
Davan

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RE: Difference between male/female submissives - 4/9/2009 7:08:11 PM

AlexandraLynch

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While I prefer in a lifestyle situation to recieve an honorific in direct address, I'll skip it if the tone is a respectful and polite one. I think it's easy for dominants to be a stickler about this more than others because there are often not so many of us, and unless we stake out our position and defend it politely but relentlessly, we get a heaping helping of "all women are really submissive" etc. So the way I like doing things (which happens to be the way things tend to run at the local munch, as well) is as follows. I introduce as Mistress Alexandra, and expect either a respectful "talking to higher rank in organization who I don't report to" tone or "ma'am" from submissives, and use of my first name and a "talking to peer" tone from dominants.

I really prefer respect to everyone, from everyone. It takes courage and strength to submit, just as much as it does to take on the responsibilities of dominance.

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