RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

SailingBum -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 5:04:15 PM)

Great post teezzzzzer,

Not willing to go that far

BadOne



slaveluci -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 5:56:10 PM)

Their story is a sad one.  Too bad they couldn't have exercised a bit more discretion and conducted themselves a bit more privately, especially considering his position.  In a perfect world he wouldn't have to but in this world, such things happen.  Yet one more reason why you won't find us in a public dungeon or parading our photos to the online world at large.  Unfair things do happen so why make it easier?

luci



StrangerThan -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 7:20:27 PM)

What you practice in your home is your business. What you practice in your private life is your business. What you practice in a public setting, carries and will always carry the threat of being every ones business.

How far am I willing to go? I'm not willing to give anyone reason to think less of my woman, not willing to endanger her position as a mother, not willing to risk her profession or mine, not willing to force anyone outside of our consensual relationship to be consenting of it.

I've never understood why one person's decision to engage in any type of behavior translates into a reason that everyone else has to be accepting of that behavior or to set aside their own practices because of it. I see vanilla uttered out here in print with disdain often. I got no problem with vanilla folk. But then again, I don't go burrowing into their private or sexual lives and don't go displaying mine to them. I don't mind anyone knowing that I got a thing for tying my girl up and whipping her ass. I also understand it doesn't give me a special status where everyone else has to like it, accept it, and it does not put me above law or common sense. That means, in answer to your question of how badly do I want it known? The urge to jump out and demand everyone else be agreeable with what I do in private just isn't a perogative that's high on my list. In fact, it's probably somewhere near the bottom.

And he was a judge. He, of all people, should have had a decent idea of the risk involved. The prostitution charge I don't get though unless... money was exchanged and sex was part of the bargain. That technically, is prostitution and again, he was a judge. It's not like he can feign ignorance of the technicalities.



WestBaySlave -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 7:58:45 PM)

  It's funny, I'm totally open about my D/s involvement, but neither that nor my homosexuality ever comes up in everyday life.

My friends and family are already informed and supportive of my orientations, both gay and D/s, so I suppose the only thing I'd have to risk is a potential job ( right now I'm in school; can't imagine I'd be kicked out for something like this ). Frankly, if I was in a good relationship, it's worth the risk of losing a job to keep it. Getting fired and going on UI for a while, or at worst having to get a McJob, is depressing but hardly the end of the world.

That being said, I'm not an exhibitionist and rarely mesh well with those that are, so the chances of being caught as someone's "slave" are minimal.





DisenchantedLife -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 8:35:26 PM)

I guess I'm the odd one out, because I'm not prepared to go anywhere for D/s and actually I kind of wish I had no interest in it.  I, the logical me, does not want it.  Any way shape or form.  I wouldnt even go to Detroit. 

Yet in the past I did go and it went to far, I've the deformities to prove it!  Har.

But yet....... inside me.......... yeah....... about the farthest I go is the bookstore.  Or the online bookstore.  So I guess to my computer desk?  And maybe the Television.  Anyone watch the Tudors on Showtime?  King Henry may be an ass and likes to behead his women - but damned if I dont fantasize about him!



chezzy71 -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 2:00:23 AM)

Iam not here to serve the public..at least in BDSM terms.Mistress Cat and i are both fiercely private.That's it in a nutshell.



feydeplume -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 4:52:40 AM)

"We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

I've been thinking about this one for years. I was raised in an activist household, not just sexual freedom, but there was A LOT of that. I was that little kid holding hands with a parent in the marches or handing out flyers as a teen. I have done sit-ins and petitions. I have held hands with HIV+ people so that they had human touch before they died. I have written articles, pamphlets, and letters to congress.

The pursuit of Happiness and the Freedom of Speech as deeply important to me and I pursue happiness and practice freedom of speech. I am also willing to take shit for it like fines, lawsuits (had to sue a past employer), dirty looks, getting shot with those bean bags and pepper spray, and yes I think i would go to jail to uphold the constitution. It may not say "the right to pursue what form of inter-personal sexual relationship makes you happy" as a definition of Happiness, but that is the pursuit of Happiness for so many people. It may not say "the Right to talk freely about sex as a positive and important aspect of human nature" as a definition of Free Speech, but just about everyone agrees that good sex is a key element of Happiness and that, as long as i don't talk to minors (at least about details and depending on the state) and use some tact, I have the right (duty?) to do so.

How far would I go for D/s? As far as i have gone for HIV awareness, homosexual marriage, and every party I can get a lift to and pay the cover for. I expect and respect that others will fight just as hard to silence me or denigrate me or the issue, and i will hate what they say, but rejoice that they have the freedom to say it. I will use the law (in my own naive way) along with others to continue to pursue Happiness and help others in their pursuit. I guess i would go all the way; life, liberty, and freedom to uphold and protect my rights and those of my fellow citizens. 



MsFlutter -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 6:43:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThomasMore

Detroit.  But no farther!


LOL ::cleaning monitor:: my funny bone liked that !



CreativeDominant -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 7:42:10 AM)

How  far would I go for D/s?  Well, it was at the very least a partial factor in my divorce.  When I realized I could no longer be the "Alan Alda" male, it changed my dynamic with her.  When I wanted her to go there and she tried and could not, it changed my dynamic.  When she wanted to take things back to where they were but "this time, I PROMISE I will get things back together sexually in me" and I realized that she STILL wanted the control and to keep it by attempting to manipulate me with still-empty promises and I could not go there, it sent me out of the house and out of my marriage.  When my practice was affected by her carrying stories of what a "twisted, sick" man I was, I still didn't give it up but I did take what I enjoy more private.  I never put the more overt aspects of my D/s in front of my kids and would not do so now.  My ums know I am dominant...and that is all they need to know.  They disagree with that aspect, partially because the ex talked about the "things those perverts" like to do within earshot of young ears and partially because they are not of an age to understand a world where a woman might choose to obey her male partner, might choose not to belittle him in front of others, might choose to respect his guidance, might choose not to go the "equality" route...a route that I've observed has little to do with being equal but much more to do with equality meaning that the woman gets her way most of the time...that is what passes for equality in many vanilla relationships. 
Some of my patients think just that I am an "old-fashioned" guy with rather quaint ideas about male-female partnerships...that is fine with many of them and for those who don't agree, they have the choice to stay or go.  If that is the standard by which they choose their doctor...the fact that he believes in "traditional" relationships, rather than how good he is at what he does...I'd just as soon they go. 
So...D/s has cost me a marriage, has at times strained things with my kids, has affected my practice and this was all a result of my choice and occurred, for the most part, on what people THOUGHT they knew about D/s.  Do any of you think that explaining D/s AND BDSM to most of these folks would make my life as a professional...as a father...any easier?  I don't...besides, I don't care to have most people address the sexual aspects of their lives with ME...why on earth would I take MINE to them?



agirl -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 8:24:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze


So this does make Me wonder,
how far are you prepared to go for D/s?

And how badly do you want to make it known to the world
knowing the possible consequences?

`



I'm prepared to go to the lengths I need to, to live the way I've chosen. It's not that odd and in many ways rather mundane. I think I make it look rather boring to the people that know about it......the most wild reaction is mild interest. The sprogs don't find it of any great interest or of note. They do find it uncomfortable when their friends parent's are disrespectful or *slight* their partners, as they are used to the opposite.

If my relationship-style alienated the sprogs I wouldn't change it because of that, so if they couldn't get their heads around it, I suppose that'd be a risk but not one I'd balk from. I expect better from them.


Making it known to the world ........the wider world?.....no interest whatsoever.

agirl



IronBear -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 9:51:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume

"We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

I've been thinking about this one for years. I was raised in an activist household, not just sexual freedom, but there was A LOT of that. I was that little kid holding hands with a parent in the marches or handing out flyers as a teen. I have done sit-ins and petitions. I have held hands with HIV+ people so that they had human touch before they died. I have written articles, pamphlets, and letters to congress.

The pursuit of Happiness and the Freedom of Speech as deeply important to me and I pursue happiness and practice freedom of speech. I am also willing to take shit for it like fines, lawsuits (had to sue a past employer), dirty looks, getting shot with those bean bags and pepper spray, and yes I think i would go to jail to uphold the constitution. It may not say "the right to pursue what form of inter-personal sexual relationship makes you happy" as a definition of Happiness, but that is the pursuit of Happiness for so many people. It may not say "the Right to talk freely about sex as a positive and important aspect of human nature" as a definition of Free Speech, but just about everyone agrees that good sex is a key element of Happiness and that, as long as i don't talk to minors (at least about details and depending on the state) and use some tact, I have the right (duty?) to do so.

How far would I go for D/s? As far as i have gone for HIV awareness, homosexual marriage, and every party I can get a lift to and pay the cover for. I expect and respect that others will fight just as hard to silence me or denigrate me or the issue, and i will hate what they say, but rejoice that they have the freedom to say it. I will use the law (in my own naive way) along with others to continue to pursue Happiness and help others in their pursuit. I guess i would go all the way; life, liberty, and freedom to uphold and protect my rights and those of my fellow citizens. 



My hat is off to you lass. You Rock!!!!  BRAVA!!!



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 12:32:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkwind

For an obviously intelligent couple they showed an unhealthy amount of naivete regarding what they were doing, and the impact that being known for doing it would have on their lives and careers. This isn't rocket science!

my D/s enhances my life with Andy, and we are open about it because we have nothing to lose by that openness. If we had careers and status that needed protecting from people and a society less tolerant than we would hope, i know we would be more circumspect, careful in our dealings with folk, where we went, what we did.

i would go as far as i possibly could to have a D/s relationship including, as it happens, leaving a marriage of 30+ years, a couple of adult ex dependants and a network of friends who did not know, or did not approve of what i was doing. my choice, my loss, my gains. And my risk assessment.

People make choices, some work, some don't, but they generally make them armed with enough information to make a value judgement. If this couple didn't do that, more fool them. They should have known the risks, surely?


Edited to add that with the marriage went a family home i had invested 30 years of time,effort and money in, and took away with me very little to show for all that. And i did it willingly, with such a surety there was no other way.


So pinkwind,
even you say that people in certain workfields,
should be careful with saying they are into D/s
if I read you right?

Amazing, I've never looked at that. I'm openminded
and believe that people should do the things they love,
unless they don't hurt others and it's consentual.

But apparently the world still isn't ready, for it.

It's amazing though, that people in certain workfields,
should be more carefull then others.

But apparently this is the way it is in life.

Thank you for your contribution.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 12:36:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I will go as far as it takes to further my lifestyle goals as long as it doesn't impact negatively on family. I am not known for delicacy in my opinions and am up front regarding my lifestyles both in private and in public. The sensibilities of others are not permitted to dictate what I do or how I live. 


I understand what you're saying here IronBear,
but don't you agree, that if anyone wants to do you wrong,
that they can nail you, simply on the fact that you practice
D/s or isn't it that simple?

it's one of the questions which came to Mind,
reading about this movie & story behind it.

I wish You enough

GoddezzT`



domiguy -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 12:46:55 PM)

About the same distance I am willing to go for fast food.



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 12:50:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

The magazine is a tabloid. The judge was accused of facilitating prostitution, but he did participate in the S/M, and he has been charged with malicious wounding, as well, the issue being that commercial videos were made of her use and abuse. All of this happened prior to 1997 (!!), when the laws and the tolerance in Belgium were very different from what they are today. I am inclined to opine that, as a Member of the Bar, and an appointed judge, he probably should have known better than to have his wife publicized, and kept his predilections in private, where there would not have been issues. The prosecutor felt that she was not a willing participant, and he made his case in judicial court. The reason why this is being published today is that a movie is being made of the story.

From taking a quick look, he got stupid; there are things that you just can't do when you are in certain positions - if you worked for the U.S. government and you had secret clearance and you made videos of your wife being "done" by third parties, and beaten, you'd very likely get fired too.



Hello antipode,

I know it's an old story, I never heard about it, untill I heard about the movie, which came out recently, that's what caught My eye, and made Me question this.

I didn't read any articles in which it stated that he participated, so I don't have all the info about it. But if You say he did, I asume that he did that.

I also didn't knew that he had movies made of her, see I don't know the whole story, but still.. I do believe, despite the job you do,
if you're in D/s you're in D/s which is about something
consentual between 2 adults.
And in My eyes that should not matter.

Why would it b "less bad"when you're a clerk?
Or a judge, people are still people right?

That's something I don't understand.

Apparently it's still in a corner of insanity, and it's less worse
to  have an insane clerk then a judge * smirks*

It's not right, that's why I brought this under the attention
of everyone. Because I think this isn't right.

But.. the world thinks differently.

They are still fighting to get their rights back in 2009.

Thank You for Your contribution.

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 12:55:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMeltz

That seems like extremes to me but some would say that I go through extremes. I have a vanilla relationship with a good man who spoils me. He obliges me in anyways possible. Yet, I seek a true sub in every sense of the word. My fiance is my King. Therefore, I could not see myself belittling him in any way. However, I desire a sub that I can humiliate, spank, train and groom.

Would this be considered going to far or just wanting the best of both worlds becuase I know that I can have them?  


Well this is a different question, then which I asked,
but if all partys agree on what you want, then there is nothing wrong in My book.
Does ya future hubby know? :D

Goodluck

GoddezzT`



IronBear -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 12:56:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze


I understand what you're saying here IronBear,
but don't you agree, that if anyone wants to do you wrong,
that they can nail you, simply on the fact that you practice
D/s or isn't it that simple?

it's one of the questions which came to Mind,
reading about this movie & story behind it.

I wish You enough

GoddezzT`



If I were working is an expreemly sensitive area where anything not strictly acceptable b to the general community (I guess such as handling PR for the Prime Minister or similar, where not being part of the "normal" crowd, it could have an negative impact on my career, but for me and also because of the areas I opperate, that i am well known by the movers and shackers as well as the real power brokers, I'm as close to being bullet proof as I can be. The intimate details of what I do in my home is known only to either kink friendly acquaintances, some family and friends. The rest just know that at any time I could have a slave in residence and that I enjoy kink as well as being a Pagan. I may take a slave into the city shopping or visit the weekend markets with the slave leashed but flogging her in public or practicing needle play in public is not part of my make up unless it is for an organised demonstration. I just make sure that when I am pushing legal; limits (outside kink) I keep my ass covered.



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 1:01:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

This is just not a kink for me, it is how I prefer my interpersonal relationships. I have a slave girl, and it is consensual slavery so it does not violate any laws. As far as what occurs within the privacy of my home, that is protected as well. My girl follows three steps behind and to my left where ever we go. She refers to me as Master, whether in public or private. She asks permission to do everything, whether in public or private.

This is me, it is how I live, it is part of my principles, ethics and morality. I am an independent contractor, and have no problems loosing my clients if that is what they want to do. People do not need to approve of me, or how I live, and I am not about to force them to.

Now do I advertise it so that everyone is sure to know? Of course not, but if asked or confronted about it, I am not going to deny it. Society will always be judgemental, and it will always try to force people into being sheep. I will not follow the herd for the sake of blending in and covering my ass.

Others can do as they wish.


Hello OrionTheWolf,

I understand what You're, but the same question
to you, if I understand it right, and someone
would want to put you in a bad spotlight,
that they could use D/s to get to you, right?

Even if you don't mean any harm to your girl,
and it's all consentual.

It's just that I've a hard time believing such.
That you've to becarefull with it, to go outside,
because it makes you look bad in the Outerworld.
When You're in D/s.

I thank You for Your contribution, and
Wish You enough.

GoddezzT`



Mercnbeth -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 1:14:35 PM)

~ Fast Reply ~
 
  • When we go out for a stroll along the beach, I'd love to have a chain and leash attached to beth's collar - but I don't.
  • While walking around, I would love to have a small quirt, or crop, dangling from my belt - but I don't.
  • I would LOVE to allow beth to walk around and enjoy going as topless as the men we see every weather appropriate day where we live in the South Bay - but I don't.
  • I would enjoy being able to tease her by placing clips on her nipples when she mildly 'displeases' me in some manner - but I don't.

However, I do get to do all those things a few times in public during the year. The Folsom Street Fair, any day in New Orleans, or the Gay Pride parade come immediately to mind. We love to take advantage of those opportunities. First and foremost for the sheer enjoyment of doing so; however, somewhere is the thought in my mind that, once upon a time, a black man and a white woman couldn't walk down the street holding hands, two men or two woman could not express their feelings for each other in public, men were required to wear bathing suit tops and woman showing more than their ankle were 'obscene'. Those that exceeded those arbitrary norms created a path for others that followed. Getting us to the point where today seeing any of those wouldn't raise an eyebrow.

Granted, we are fortunate that the countless number of pictures taken of us when we are behaving in this matter in public during these events can not harm us. We don't see ourselves as activists or even examples. We don't put ourselves out there under a contrived need for attention. We do it because it represents us and the freedom we'd like to be able to enjoy without raising an eyebrow if only 'society' and social 'norms' were not based upon an arbitrary religious agenda based morality.

We are prepared to go and do as much as we can in support of that goal. We aren't for exhibitionism, sadism, masochism, humiliation-ism, or any 'ism'. We are for freedom, and willing to put ourselves out there to represent how we define it. If we never went to another public event it would not make a difference in our life. We'd like to think that exposing our lives in public provides the opportunity for someone to see, and know, something is possible and exists that may make a difference in their life. We're prepared to go as far as it takes, willing to be 'out there' and exposed simply to let someone new, or not as sure of themselves, know that WIITWD exists.

Where they go with that is up to them; however, as a reference, I give you beth. Who until searching to change her 'lifestyle' six years ago on the recommendation of her Doctor to help her quit smoking - found a 'lifestyle' with me instead. she still smokes, but no longer thinks that the only way she'd be able to experience a reality equal to her fantasy was by travel to Amsterdam. It would have been a pity if those that preceded me didn't go as far as they did for D/s and never tried to get a positive image or a public lifestyle dating site like CM off the ground. At minimum, to express my gratitude to people I don't know and never met, I can do the best I can, in every way I can, to advance from there.



GoddessTeaze -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/19/2009 1:22:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Life without Ds.
Take away the BDSM.
Living like a 'vanilla'.
 
These are all subjects that have come up recently.  Actually they come up a lot.  As if being in a Ds etc relationship makes a person special or different in general.  Bubble burst - it doesn't.  You live who you are and just be yourself.  Personally, I find it ultra weird.
I find it weird that people are so obsessed with the concept that they can't live without it.  To me, that's an addiction.  If someone comes onto the forum saying they cannot live life without cheeseburgers or chocolate or medication - the majority would tell them to get help.
 
I don't live for Ds.  I live for my family, for my relationship and myself.  If I became too sick to serve, then we deal.  If Darcy has a don't know moment on a decision, we get through it.  I don't get the whole mentality of Ds coming before ones partner or family.
 
If your so obsessed that you can't live life as yourself and need to quantify it as Ds and that without it, life is unbearable, you need a better life.  Get therapy.
 
the.dark.


Oh I couldn't agree more the dark,
I lead a vanilla life, and happen to like D/s,
but it's not that I can't live without it,
I wouldn't die of that, smirks.

But that's a totally different subject.

Thank you kindly for your contribution.

GoddezzT`





Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
4.785156E-02