How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (Full Version)

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GoddessTeaze -> How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 8:12:54 AM)

I just read on line about a Movie release called :
"SM Judge".
In Belgium.

This is based upon a true story about a husband & wife
who were in a unstable marriage, and his wife suggested
to go into D/s.
So he did, and it went further and further,
that they got involved. Which in the end cost him his job, he was
a judge while this happen, he lost his pension, he lost
the home they lived in, all because of being in D/s.

In an interview in 2005, the couple told openly how depressed
and devastated they we're and how they went to the European Court,
where he was told , driving his wife to a Dungeon,
where she had S/m and he watched,
he got accused of : "being a Pimp, for bringing his
wife there, and they called this act abusing your wife."

The story says he didn't participate,
he just brought her there, on her request,
but he is judged with abuse and prostitution.

This is a Link to their story but it's only in Dutch/Belgium.


So this does make Me wonder,
how far are you prepared to go for D/s?

And how badly do you want to make it known to the world
knowing the possible consequences?

Apparently in 2009 We still aren't ready
for D/s in the World.

I wish you all enough.

GoddezzT`



pinkwind -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 8:26:58 AM)

For an obviously intelligent couple they showed an unhealthy amount of naivete regarding what they were doing, and the impact that being known for doing it would have on their lives and careers. This isn't rocket science!

my D/s enhances my life with Andy, and we are open about it because we have nothing to lose by that openness. If we had careers and status that needed protecting from people and a society less tolerant than we would hope, i know we would be more circumspect, careful in our dealings with folk, where we went, what we did.

i would go as far as i possibly could to have a D/s relationship including, as it happens, leaving a marriage of 30+ years, a couple of adult ex dependants and a network of friends who did not know, or did not approve of what i was doing. my choice, my loss, my gains. And my risk assessment.

People make choices, some work, some don't, but they generally make them armed with enough information to make a value judgement. If this couple didn't do that, more fool them. They should have known the risks, surely?


Edited to add that with the marriage went a family home i had invested 30 years of time,effort and money in, and took away with me very little to show for all that. And i did it willingly, with such a surety there was no other way.




CatdeMedici -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 8:33:53 AM)

I am not nor have I ever been willing to risk My personal or public life, My assets, My reputation, nor My UM for D/s.



IronBear -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 8:34:05 AM)

I will go as far as it takes to further my lifestyle goals as long as it doesn't impact negatively on family. I am not known for delicacy in my opinions and am up front regarding my lifestyles both in private and in public. The sensibilities of others are not permitted to dictate what I do or how I live. 



LaTigresse -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 8:56:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I will go as far as it takes to further my lifestyle goals as long as it doesn't impact negatively on family. I am not known for delicacy in my opinions and am up front regarding my lifestyles both in private and in public. The sensibilities of others are not permitted to dictate what I do or how I live. 


With emphasis on the bolded part, IB has stated my own point of view. I also do not lead a high profile life, in any way. I didn't before I got involved in M/s and I don't now. After all, it is part of my personal life. Personal isn't for public consumption.



antipode -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 9:12:07 AM)

The magazine is a tabloid. The judge was accused of facilitating prostitution, but he did participate in the S/M, and he has been charged with malicious wounding, as well, the issue being that commercial videos were made of her use and abuse. All of this happened prior to 1997 (!!), when the laws and the tolerance in Belgium were very different from what they are today. I am inclined to opine that, as a Member of the Bar, and an appointed judge, he probably should have known better than to have his wife publicized, and kept his predilections in private, where there would not have been issues. The prosecutor felt that she was not a willing participant, and he made his case in judicial court. The reason why this is being published today is that a movie is being made of the story.

From taking a quick look, he got stupid; there are things that you just can't do when you are in certain positions - if you worked for the U.S. government and you had secret clearance and you made videos of your wife being "done" by third parties, and beaten, you'd very likely get fired too.



MistressMeltz -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 9:23:49 AM)

That seems like extremes to me but some would say that I go through extremes. I have a vanilla relationship with a good man who spoils me. He obliges me in anyways possible. Yet, I seek a true sub in every sense of the word. My fiance is my King. Therefore, I could not see myself belittling him in any way. However, I desire a sub that I can humiliate, spank, train and groom.
 
Would this be considered going to far or just wanting the best of both worlds becuase I know that I can have them?  



cantilena -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 10:44:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I am not nor have I ever been willing to risk My personal or public life, My assets, My reputation, nor My UM for D/s.


[sm=agree.gif]



DavanKael -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 10:57:15 AM)

I can be rather activistic but I do not wish to be a martyr. 
  Davan



OrionTheWolf -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 11:03:32 AM)

This is just not a kink for me, it is how I prefer my interpersonal relationships. I have a slave girl, and it is consensual slavery so it does not violate any laws. As far as what occurs within the privacy of my home, that is protected as well. My girl follows three steps behind and to my left where ever we go. She refers to me as Master, whether in public or private. She asks permission to do everything, whether in public or private.

This is me, it is how I live, it is part of my principles, ethics and morality. I am an independent contractor, and have no problems loosing my clients if that is what they want to do. People do not need to approve of me, or how I live, and I am not about to force them to.

Now do I advertise it so that everyone is sure to know? Of course not, but if asked or confronted about it, I am not going to deny it. Society will always be judgemental, and it will always try to force people into being sheep. I will not follow the herd for the sake of blending in and covering my ass.

Others can do as they wish.



daddysprop247 -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 11:31:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

This is just not a kink for me, it is how I prefer my interpersonal relationships. I have a slave girl, and it is consensual slavery so it does not violate any laws. As far as what occurs within the privacy of my home, that is protected as well. My girl follows three steps behind and to my left where ever we go. She refers to me as Master, whether in public or private. She asks permission to do everything, whether in public or private.

This is me, it is how I live, it is part of my principles, ethics and morality. I am an independent contractor, and have no problems loosing my clients if that is what they want to do. People do not need to approve of me, or how I live, and I am not about to force them to.

Now do I advertise it so that everyone is sure to know? Of course not, but if asked or confronted about it, I am not going to deny it. Society will always be judgemental, and it will always try to force people into being sheep. I will not follow the herd for the sake of blending in and covering my ass.

Others can do as they wish.


kudos to you Sir, i admire your conviction. my Master and i feel the same...don't throw a parade over it, but don't hide or deny who we are and the way we live either.



Prinsexx -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 12:16:03 PM)

No-one is really interested in how far I would go in a M/s relationship only in so far as they find it interesting to imitate, or interesting as voyeurs or interesting as conformist moralizers. the only one who has any real interest in how far I go is my Owner.
However should I, or indeed anyone, put themselves out there in the public arena they risk trial by public opinion and the media: actually a far better judge house than a jury.
Indeed if I risked myself, my professional life and any of my defendants lives because ofhe sad pressures of conformity it simply would not be worth it.
Sex, sexuality, bdsm and gender are not the political movements for personal freedom they once were. Those freedoms are come and indeed gone as there are more pressing personal freedoms to fight for like the Third World and the ecology of the Planet. The fact that I like to be chained, clamped, cut and whipped has no bearing upon the privation of my fellow human beings.
 




RCdc -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 12:19:01 PM)

Life without Ds.
Take away the BDSM.
Living like a 'vanilla'.
 
These are all subjects that have come up recently.  Actually they come up a lot.  As if being in a Ds etc relationship makes a person special or different in general.  Bubble burst - it doesn't.  You live who you are and just be yourself.  Personally, I find it ultra weird.
I find it weird that people are so obsessed with the concept that they can't live without it.  To me, that's an addiction.  If someone comes onto the forum saying they cannot live life without cheeseburgers or chocolate or medication - the majority would tell them to get help.
 
I don't live for Ds.  I live for my family, for my relationship and myself.  If I became too sick to serve, then we deal.  If Darcy has a don't know moment on a decision, we get through it.  I don't get the whole mentality of Ds coming before ones partner or family.
 
If your so obsessed that you can't live life as yourself and need to quantify it as Ds and that without it, life is unbearable, you need a better life.  Get therapy.
 
the.dark.



subtlebutterfly -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 12:21:28 PM)

I don't do anything for anyone who doesn't do anything for anyone![:-]



mdr080480 -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 12:38:35 PM)

I would not go so far as too embarrass my family. It's one thing to be a willing participant and it's another to involve unwilling or unknowing participants. 



ThomasMore -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 1:06:53 PM)

Detroit.  But no farther!



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 1:21:46 PM)

Well I'm fully living who I am and I've only gained from that.  I think the modern American world forces far more sacrifice from homosexuals who aren't allowed to be married than any Ds hetero couple. 

So I'm not sure how to answer, I'd have to live in a world where for some reason I'd have to make choices like that.



Prinsexx -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 1:59:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThomasMore

Detroit.  But no farther!


Sound bite!
[sm=skiprope.gif]



herpreciouspet -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 2:50:01 PM)

I live in a fairly rural area where rumors could become reasons for me to not be able to continue in my line of work. It's not always who you are or what you actually do as part of a D/s relationship or being "kinked", but rather the perception of who that makes you. My D/s is something that stays at home, or that i am willing to explore in more obvious ways only when away from my home town. Should I have to consider that? no, but do I? of course i do. My standard rule is i never allow pictures that show my body and my face in the same pic, and i don't take them either. False sense of security? probably. It does amaze me though when i hear the total SHOCK of someone when something totally mild is suggested, like light bondage or a spanking. The tabboo is really comical at times. Then again there are those moments when the "little old lady" talks about her kinks in a what are you gonna do about it tone that really makes me smile.

I feel that what you owe to your family is a huge concern when there are UM's involved. It is not fair for them to have to deal with issues related to your sexuality no matter what it is. I was much more cautious even in my own home when my daughter was underage. Now that she is an adult, i have slowly let out my opinions to her and her friends, usually by commenting on a conversation they ahve already started. It's important to me that she grow up not seeing sex as a negative or "bad" thing. I want her to consider her choices in that arena based on likes, dislikes and from a base of strong self-respect and knowledge.

Edited to say...oooops, forgot i was on my pet's sn.....opinion is all mine  Hereyesruponyou



DomImus -> RE: How far are you prepared to go for D/s? (3/18/2009 3:54:19 PM)

I function on a day to day basis pretty happily while keeping my private life private. I understand that some people have a need to 'get it out there' but I've never felt any compulsion to be a flag waver about it. I don't have to go beyond my front door for D/s so the question is pretty moot in my case.



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