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MsMillgrove -> RE: getting to know you (1/31/2009 1:12:24 PM)
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Knight of Mists wrote:
"I do believe that the act of commitment does further the depth of knowledge we learn of each other. I also agree that we can not "Know" everything of a person before we commit. However.. I think we can "know enough"... the question is.. how much is enough?"
This is where I find a collar designation so handy. I learned of it some years ago as I began this journey. When explaining to a potential sub.. I equate with the vanilla example of
1. friendship ring
2. promise ring
3. wedding ring.
With the consideration collar, the sub/slave-dom have agreed to spend a time together, exclusively to see if they can establish a good d/s dynamic that suits them both. a time of exploration and understanding. The commitment is only to a specific length of time...which could be cut short or extended according the the couple.
With the training collar, the d/s dynamic, the basic "match" is felt by both to be sound...and the exploration of the two... goes along.. again for a time period.
By the time the eternal collar comes up for approval--both individuals have commited to one another in increments and feel they can make a final lifetime commitment. How long? I think two years is about right. Obviously, depends on the couple.
This collar system is not esp popular at this time, but I think it has much merit.
Because you can start at a low level of knowledge, a certain faith aspect.. You've both identified enough common ground to believe that the relationship has possibilities that should be explored. It allows the sub to submit and the domme to exert some control.. so that both can express themselves together without promises that are too big for them to make.
The symbolism of coloring the collars and upgrading the materials is also sweet for the romantics. The consideration is pale blue leather, the training often a dark blue or black leather and the eternal is sometimes a collar made or designed by the dom/me unique to the slave/sub. A Jewel or precious metal often included.
Since I mention this before and no one particularly sees the merit.. well I try again.. as it is a solution to the problem of commitment vs. good sense.
In this scenario you are submitting-committing in increments, gaining the benefits of both without having to promise a lifetime too early the process.
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