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lateralist1 -> getting to know you (1/30/2009 2:52:32 PM)

For those who are in a D/s relationship. How long did it take you to really get to know your partner?




T1981 -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 2:53:06 PM)

I've been with my husband for 10 years and I'm still getting to know him....hope it never ends!




SteelofUtah -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 2:55:22 PM)

In the Biblical Sense? Well our Midget was at the wedding if that tells you anything.
Mentally? Still working on it
Physically? I hope I never run out of places to be excited by on her body
Spiritually? We Share the same.

Steel




Aileen1968 -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 2:57:17 PM)

me...eight months
him...four years




feydeplume -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 2:57:32 PM)

Hmm 15 years here, and there are still new things to learn about him almost everyday. But to get to know the basics of living together and getting the basic dynamic working? About 2 years i think, then a plateau for about 3 years, then a much deeper, more involved relationship grew and we became closer. Now i can finish his sentances and usually guess what he will want to drink or eat or watch to read and I can anticipate most of his whims. 




Nikitaa -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 3:10:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

For those who are in a D/s relationship. How long did it take you to really get to know your partner?


Maybe 4 months total.
When I started here at this University in New York I saw ad in a weekly paper. A guy was looking for dominatrix girlfriend. He said he would do chores and errands and kinky stuff (he did not say stuff, he was specific, but I edit). I thought "why not" so I contact him. I find out he go to my University.

We had role play sessions for 2 months and really get to know each other. He said he wanted me for dominatrix girlfriend. I said I wanted him for submissive play toy. I win debate. He is my play toy. Took about 2 more months before we really get comfortable with each other. He is so good with knowing what I desire he does not make many mistakes. I sometimes pretend he messes up so I have excuse to punish. He protest and then I punish more because he not allowed to protest.

He is my first true submissive. My last boyfriend was a submissive guy but not kinky submissive. He was just my little bitch. LOL<-----My friends called him Nikita's bitch. I did not refer to him such way.




LaTigresse -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 3:14:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

me...eight months
him...four years


Somehow I think this is more common that many people realize.




Morniel -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 3:18:51 PM)

After six years? Still getting to know one another. It never ends; if it does, that means something's wrong.




lateralist1 -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 3:28:08 PM)

Thankyou for your contributions everyone.
We read so many times of relationships that go sour because people go into them too quickly before they know the person well enough.
I have made that mistake in the past and am trying to avoid it in the future.
But maybe it just isn't possible to know someone before we commit to them.
Maybe the act of commitment helps in the getting to know one another process.




feydeplume -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 3:46:15 PM)

Did you mean how long did we date and talk and play casually before deciding that yes this was serious? About 6 month seeing each other most days and talking a lot on days when we didn't see each other. 




sparkyRBF -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 3:47:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

Thankyou for your contributions everyone.
We read so many times of relationships that go sour because people go into them too quickly before they know the person well enough.
I have made that mistake in the past and am trying to avoid it in the future.
But maybe it just isn't possible to know someone before we commit to them.
Maybe the act of commitment helps in the getting to know one another process.


perhaps i am more the exception than the rule.  I picked up Master in a bar for a one night stand and after a day or so of stalking we haven't been apart sense. 
Seriously, i moved in after not even knowing him for a month.  everything just seem to click, and it's been 15 years of wonderful, getting to know each other, constantly courting each other, always doing the little nice things that say "i was just thinking of you and its my favorite thought" 
Sure there have been some rocky moments when i thought of packing the silverware but communication and self awareness brought us back together to decide this was worth working on. 
I have found the most happiness in always looking to please him instead of myself.. its odd how it works that way.. for us anyways.
It's important to say what is and is not your fault and be able to correct the things you can to make a better life for yourself.  
The more honest with him i was, the more honest with me he was which allowed us to open up fully to each other and really let us get to know one another.  If you keep yourself guarded behind those walls you'll be lonely.

best of luck to you and hope this helps




oceanwynds -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 3:49:58 PM)

Sir and I are still getting to know each other, and hope to continue to get to know him. I been in a relationship with myself for 57 years and still learning new things about me..smiles.




KnightofMists -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 4:29:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

For those who are in a D/s relationship. How long did it take you to really get to know your partner?


Since I see notice that my girls are always changing... I believe getting to know my partner is a continual process and not a destination!




KnightofMists -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 4:32:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

But maybe it just isn't possible to know someone before we commit to them.
Maybe the act of commitment helps in the getting to know one another process.


I do believe that the act of commitment does further the depth of knowledge we learn of each other.  I also agree that we can not "Know" everything of a person before we commit.  However.. I think we can "know enough"... the question is.. how much is enough?




Vendaval -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 4:34:04 PM)

Getting to know someone deeply and intimately is a long term process as we change throughout the months and years.




whiteslavebitch -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 5:35:33 PM)

It took me about 6-8 months to know him well enough to know I wanted a M/s relationship with him. Now almost 4 years in, I am still learning new things about him.




IronBear -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 6:00:31 PM)

Getting to know a partnerfor me is an exciting, never ending journey




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: getting to know you (1/30/2009 10:41:27 PM)

I think I got the gist in about 6 months.  It took me some months longer to stop being an idiot and fall in love and make it a serious commitment.  And yes, pile me into the still getting to know and grow together.




dreamerdreaming -> RE: getting to know you (1/31/2009 12:08:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lateralist1

Thankyou for your contributions everyone.
We read so many times of relationships that go sour because people go into them too quickly before they know the person well enough.
I have made that mistake in the past and am trying to avoid it in the future.
But maybe it just isn't possible to know someone before we commit to them.
Maybe the act of commitment helps in the getting to know one another process.


Very insightful, lateralist1!




MaamJay -> RE: getting to know you (1/31/2009 12:20:58 AM)

It took Me 5 days of being together (after about 6 months of regular talking) to cry when I saw him off at the airport and to know that I wanted to see him again. Then We switched ... and the next 11 days spent together i served Him ... and at that point, We both knew We wanted this to work out. It was nearly a year after the first face to face when He moved to be with me 24/7 ... and it took Him 2 more years to collar me. So i guess that was the time it took to get to know each other well enough to take what for Us, is seen to be a permanent step. It would have been quicker if there hadn't been added complications of My ex-hub-not-really-sub.

However, count Us in to the people still discovering and enjoying the journey!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]
Edited cos it posted without My signature!




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