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RE: Does your assertive/controlling personality manifes... - 1/12/2009 8:14:39 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Do you find it impossible to relax your assertive/controlling personality with subs/vanilla men you do not own. Are you assertive in non bdsm situations, example a man is less than disrespectful to you in a bank, a shop etc or do you  reserve your dominance for scene only
kevin



My being dominant is part of my personality. It has nothing to do with men or women, it simply is.

Being dominant is not being an a-hole or a jerk or bossy. It's being confident in yourself and capable in leading regardless of the situation.

I don't turn it on or off but in scene I let go of the some of the politeness I might use it the mundane world -- but certainly not all.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Does your assertive/controlling personality manifes... - 1/12/2009 8:18:40 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		to clarify i meant less than respectful, sorry typos
kevin

(in reply to bound4more)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Does your assertive/controlling personality manifes... - 1/12/2009 9:43:39 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

to clarify i meant less than respectful, sorry typos
kevin



There are only a handful of people in this world I feel respect for. However, I am a fairly courteous and mild mannered person most of the time. Often times I am downright silly. I don't walk through my days trying to put on a front of ubercoolsuperbitchdomme because that's just not me. I like being relaxed and happy, not worried about image or whatever.

Regardless, I always end up being the one running the show. Take work for instance. The job I have now. My last career left me seriously burnt out. So I took a couple months to reassess things and then I sat down and crunched the numbers to see what I needed to make to meet my financial obligations. It wasn't much. Then I went looking for a job in that salary range that I knew I would enjoy. I came to work here at an entry level position of customer service/receptionist with no thought of, moving up the ladder. In less than a year the owner decided I needed to be managing the place, including production. I had no previous training in this type of business, no idea about the process of what we do prior to coming here. It just happens in every job I've ever had. Years ago I started at a nightclub waiting tables part time and within months was managing the whole damned place.

I don't walk around barking orders like a rabid dog. I just simply do what comes naturally to me and inspire people to follow along happily. On occasion I have to put on my bitch panties and smack someone around(figuratively) for now being a good team player but it really isn't very often. I have heard, from sources, that I have "the look" that I give when I am not happy. I have also heard it is rather intimidating. I don't know the hows, whys or anything......it's not like I practice anything in the mirror for heaven's sake. I am just me, doing what is natural to me. It works.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Does your assertive/controlling personality manifes... - 1/12/2009 9:45:05 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Does your assertive/controlling personality manifest itself in non BDS


yes, else it wouldn't be "personality"
|I mean..personality is what you are.

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 1/12/2009 10:17:23 AM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Does your assertive/controlling personality manifes... - 1/12/2009 10:10:24 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		i would love to work for you. i wouldnt have to be a servant, i would get paid, and at least it would be a job. something that is becoming less and less accessible on the Irish side of the Atlantic ocean, every week there is news of more job cuts, i dont know what its like in the States but its really bad here. yeah its funny , you talk about entry level customer service position, i would give my right hand for that now, anything to keep my head above water would be nice, unemployment isnt nice, pity there is a big ocean between us
kevin


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Does your assertive/controlling personality manifes... - 1/12/2009 10:56:06 AM   
penandknife


Posts: 28
Joined: 10/19/2008
Status: offline 		It's not so hot over here, either.  I'm having to close my shop and find something to get me through the next couple of years until things start looking better for small business startups again.

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Does your assertive/controlling personality manifes... - 1/12/2009 11:01:42 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Not excellent here, though I don't think it will be as bad where I live, compared to much of the rest of the country. We have had layoffs all around and our business isn't growing, that is for sure. We are just coasting along, getting by. Cannot really ask for anything more at this time I think.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/12/2009 11:02:30 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to penandknife)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Does your assertive/controlling personality manifes... - 1/12/2009 1:11:30 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		I am a dominant individual in general... while I enjoy some specifics that tie me to the scene/bdsm realms, -most- of my domination and control are aspects of my life outside of BDSM. If someone is rude to me, or behaves inappropriately (male or female) in my presence, whether to me or to someone else, I -will- say something. If I am paying for a service and that service is not up to the standards I would expect for what I am paying, I will bring it to the attention of, first, the service provider, and, if that does not solve the issue, to the service provider's superiors... who, by virtue of my being their client/customer, are, in fact, in a deferential position to me as well. I will not tolerate shoddy work from myself, and I won't tolerate it from my subordinates, either.

OTOH, on the few occasions when I let go and let someone else take the lead, I expect that they will -lead-... if I have to pick up pieces here and there, pretty soon, I'll be running the show, since I don't tend to be able to do anything in half-way measures. (My companion says that my perceptions are very black and white... she comprises the shades of grey that fill in the blanks).


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Does your assertive/controlling personality manifes... - 1/12/2009 1:27:38 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		Funnily I spoke recently with a guy about being online here (didnt mention the name but what it is about...or at least partial what it is about, kind of that the guy is in charge *lol*) and he said straight away "but you are not a submissive person."

LOL, at work I think there is barely someone who could imagine me as being submissive. Even at my placement my work based supervisor comes up with the nonsense that she would have had to increase my confidence at first (which is bullshit as I was simply left on my own at my placement and therefore needed a bit longer to figure out what to do there, as my placement is not at all a good one for my studies...but never mind). however, I told this to a colleague at work who bursted out in loud laughter, almost screaming at me "increasing your confidence??? she does so not know you!!!"

I said it a while ago in a different thread, at work I am a real switch...I can be sub and do as I am told, when my workplace requires it (e.g. 12 years ago when I worked as a secretary I did how my manager told me), but if someone crosses the line or thinks he can take the piss, then he should ensure to get out of my way to avoid to receive my whip. The difference is just that at work it is called being a bitch instead of being a switch, but at my current employer I have two staff members on the reliefbank who refuse to work with me (well, one guy refuses and one simply avoids to talk to me when we end up being on the same shift), but well, the one who doesn't talk with me simply kept crossing the line and only because my previous manager was far too laid back she has still her job; am sure that some of the other managers I am working for would have either fired her or put her into disciplinary procedures. Therefore, I can be nice and easy going, but if you dare to go too far I can change straight away, no problem for me.

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 49
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